It went something like this: "I need to take off the weight that I put on from having my baby. I'm trying a crash diet. But, I'm exhausted and I need to give myself some grace and relax."
I asked, "What if you focused instead for a time on your INNER Diet? What if you shed your worries and your self-judgments, what might happen with the extra pounds on your body if you did this inner work first?
"Hmmm, I never thought of inner weight....tell me more please..." she said.
In my years of helping facilitate life transformations, one thing has become CRYSTAL CLEAR:
Long-lasting change happens from the INSIDE out. Not the other way around.
If a person tries to force themselves to change from the outside...it is more like putting a band-aid on that will eventually fall off and stop working.
Most who attempt to do only the external changes, will revert back to the old ways. The weight will come back. The relationships may improve for a short time but the patterns of chaos and drama will repeat with an almost uncanny preciseness. The career path may move forward for a short time but they will find themselves spinning again before they know it. The money might suddenly up-tick but soon the old financial pattern will rear it's ugly head.
Why?
Because what we are inside is what we create outside. Plain and simple. Without fail.
Said a different way: As within, so without. Your outer world represents your inner world.
Thus, if you want your life to change, look within, not without.
But who on earth has the fortitude to do the INNER WORK? Very few.
Who will take the time to grow their self-awareness and do the inner transformation work for long enough to create LIFETIME results? Not many.
Right now I have a mixture of laughter and deep tears inside me. The chuckles come because I know how simple the steps are to transform the inner world IF one is willing to put in the dedicated, daily, sweaty work. My tears flow because I see how few people are willing to go inside to give it a try and to stick with the process long enough to get new results in their lives. My heart breaks that more people aren't willing to give this inner work a fair try.
How I WISH that each person I encountered understood that it is the INNER DIET TRANSFORMATION that will create lasting results. Not only lasting results, but incredible, awesome, amazing, miraculous results.
The INNER changes put us on a trajectory of success, peace, freedom and well-being. By changing from the Inside out, we can learn to THRIVE --every day, all day, no matter what is happening outside of us. We can begin to consciously build our inner world so that our heart's open up, our purpose is discovered and therefore, we naturally begin making new choices in our words and actions to build a life that FEELS GOOD TO US IN EVERY WAY.
So...do you want to know how to do this? Are you sure you are ready to do so?
Let me disclose: this is not work for the faint of heart or for those who want a QUICK FIX. This inner work is for the wise investors, the ones who see that if for 3 to 6 months they are willing to grow their awareness of the inner patterns, work to shift them day by day, they will reap enormous dividends.
If that last sentence doesn't describe you please immediately LEAVE THIS PAGE. It would be better for you to just move on with your life and keep repeating your patterns as long as you so wish. In fact, just forget everything I told you and stay UNCONSCIOUS. Then, one day, if you change your mind, you are always welcome to come back here.
(I'm going to add a few images here so that those who are leaving the page do NOT get a peek at the simple next steps I'm going to share with the ones of you who are READY and DETERMINED and DEVOTED to your inner transformation...imagine a nice, lighthearted song playing as you scroll down and take in these images.)
So, at this point, only the one's who REALLY want transformation should be reading this.
Step one: Observe your inner mental diet.
Most of us have created a hodge-podge diet of all sorts of thinking we were fed since we were children. We have mental programming that is haphazard...and mostly based in fear, self-judgment, guilt, and pain. I call all of that: mental "Junk Food." Imagine how you'd feel if all you ate was potato chips, chocolate bars and greasy meals. What would the results be in your life if that was the case?
Well....perhaps you can answer that because you are not feeling well mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually as you read this right now.
Don't judge yourself. It is what it is. And, if you can see it all with a little grace and humor, you will feel more empowered to learn just what YOU have been doing to YOURSELF unconsciously for a very long time.
Listen, I know that can feel sad and uncomfortable to discover that you have been unknowingly self-sabotaging. I've gone through this process myself. I was HORRIFIED when I looked closely at my mind only to discover that I was filled with more fear and self-tortured thoughts than I would ever have guessed. I actually cried and grieved when I discovered how awful my mental patterns were.
It's okay. You really may not have known better. And, even if you did know better, you may not have been ready to stop suffering. We suffer until we are tired of suffering any more.
You picked up these ways of thinking from the people around you -- your parents, society, the media, the church, your friends. They unconsciously passed on to you what they thought was the best way to do it. But---look closely-- most of society right now is running around thinking these thought patterns. The results aren't very good for all of us, are they? Depression epidemic. Addictions. Abuse. Suicide. Wars. Family Feuds. Drama. Unhappiness and a sense of meaninglessness. It's not pretty.
But, there is REALLY good news in all of this: Once you become aware of what your own patterns and what you are "feeding yourself" all day, every day, you find opportunity after golden opportunity to THINK better. Awareness opens a powerful door to personal transformation.
When we do this work little by little, we begin to feel a little better each day. As we feel better each day, we stay motivated to do the inner work because we see it is possible to feel REALLY well.
I'm going to give you three steps but I'd suggest for the upcoming week, you focus ONLY on the first step.
Step One: Observe your mental diet in detail. Find a journal to use as a tool. For the next week, I want you to take stock of your thought patterns. Here are the specific categories you should pay attention to: Fears, Self-talk and Guilt.
FEARS: Write down any and every fear thought or worry thought you have. WRITE IT DOWN. There is tremendous power in seeing what is going on in your mind on a piece of paper. Take note of each and every fear no matter how small or how big.
SELF-TALK: Write down the thoughts you say to yourself, about yourself. The way we talk to ourselves is often incredibly awful. Most of us would never say to another person the things we say to ourselves in our the private corridors of our mind. We beat ourselves up harder than we realize. In fact, it is almost as if sometimes we take ourselves to an inner torture chamber and beat ourselves until we are bloody. (Excuse my gruesomeness here, but that is what I observe working with person over person through this process). Write down each and every mean, negative or judgmental thought you say to yourself. It may not feel good to write it down, but do it anyway.
GUILT/PAINFUL MEMORIES: Take time to notice thoughts related to feeling bad about the past. What guilt thinking haunts you? What painful memories of your past replay over and over and over ripping your insides to shreds? Write it down. Be kind to yourself as you do. I understand how fragile your spirit may be as you take a close look at the traumatic, difficult past events you've experienced. Remember that writing these down is going to open the door to healing.
Basically, step one is like going into your inner kitchen and taking stock of your mental diet. What thought food are your cabinets stocked with? If you are stressed, unhappy, depressed and upset inside, you are going to see pretty quickly that the cabinets may have a lot of super-unhealthy junk food in them. That's ok! It is what it is. The key is to become more self-aware.
There are 2 more steps in this process of the inner diet. I will quickly share the steps with you so you know what work will follow.
Step 2: Redesign your thinking. You will make a conscious decision what mental foods you want to eat to feel well and get different results. This may not be easy for you -- because re-designing thoughts is hard if you have only ever gotten used to thinking the way you have thought your whole life. You may need to find some external support (a coach, a therapist, someone who really does think well that you know) to go through the process of overhauling your inner thinking diet.
Step 3: Practice, practice, practice the new thoughts until you create new habits. This is where the daily practice comes in. Day after day, you will work on "eating your new mental food". You may see the old thoughts pop up, but you will learn how to be aware and shift your thoughts to our new diet over and over and over again. Guess what, at some point, you will NEVER want to go back to the old thoughts because you will be so aware of how awful those thoughts make you feel.
This exercise can and will transform your entire life IF you do the work. Some of you may be able to do this unsupported. Others of you will need a coach to support you. I've got 1,000s of hours of expertise if you want to hire someone to take you through the mental boot-camp. We can move as slow or as fast as you are ready to go. The key is to just keep showing up, growing yours self-awareness and allow the process of transformation to unfold within you.
I've gone through this process myself. I know it doesn't feel good at first. I can attest that if you stick with it you WILL feel better as you persist and you WILL get new results in your life.
Please share this blog with anyone you think is ready to do the inner work. Maybe you can even get a "buddy" to join you in doing step 1 for a week. Hold each other accountable. You could even get a group of friends involved and joyfully do the self-examination together! A lighthearted, humorous approach with friends may bring some magic to the process.
So, I have written a few others tell-all about my own journey through this process. If you want to read more on this topic - these three blogs lay out clearly what I did to transform myself from the inside out:
Step One: Personal Treatment Plan - Observing the Inner Realms: http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2016/09/personal-treatment-plan-step-1.html
Step Two: Consciously Create & Choose http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2016/09/my-treatment-plan-step-2-consciously.html
Step Three: Practice, Practice, Practice WILL Pay Off: Insights to Support Your Transformation: http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2016/10/practice-practice-practice-will-pay-off.html
With all of my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com
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