Friday, May 5, 2017

Don't Let Your Goals Become A Prison

Allowing our vision to emerge from the depths of our soul is an inspiring, exciting process.  Sometimes, though, we get a glimpse of the vision and we become attached to a particular form it should take.  Or, we get an idea of HOW we think it will unfold.  Then, when it doesn't take that form or that particular path, we get frustrated and disheartened.

Our dreams and goals can become a mental prison.  This attachment  to ONE FORM of our vision, can create inner stress, frustration, and anxiety.

Let me admit it:  it has happened to me!  Over 10 years ago, I received a very clear vision of my life purpose.  Yet, it has unfolded more slowly and in more of a "seeming round-about" way than I had hoped or thought it would.

My goals, at times, became my prison.  My inner critic would come out and beat me up --"You should be farther along with this.  Why aren't you working hard, faster, and getting results more quickly?"

Yet, the further I go on this path, the more I can see in retrospect how perfectly the path has been unfolding for my highest good!  It certainly has not happened in the way, nor at the pace I had wanted.  But, it has deepened me, enriched me, prepared me for serving humanity in a higher and better way than I would have been able to design myself.

My point:  Don't let an attachment to a specific FORM of your goals and dreams.  TRUST the process and HAVE fun as you walk the path of your purpose.

Don't take your goals, nor yourself TOO seriously and stress yourself needlessly.  Be fierce.  Be determined.  Be persistent. FIND JOY in the process of learning and growing that comes naturally from the JOURNEY of growth and achievement.

Our E.G.O. (Edge-God-Out mind) can use our goals--even those of doing things like serving humanity--to imprison us.  Don't fall into this trap.  BE FREE in the moment to be like a wild, joyful child following your heart every minute boldly, fearlessly and with total trust.  There is a HIGHER PLAN and DESIGN in play for each of us.  Our life curriculum is teaching and growing us FOR the fulfillment of the highest form of our vision.

Trust the process.
Relax your mind.
Your life Is on schedule.

Relaxing into the journey with you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Going For Your Goals Inspires Others!

A by-product of achieving our goals is often that we inspire others to take action too!

Some of you may be aware that Maggie, my oldest daughter, met one of her teachers a few months ago and found out that this teacher had lost a son to a rare disease called Tay Sachs.

Maggie was born with her own rare disease called Prader Willi Syndrome and has many challenges of her own.  AND she has a heart of pure love.  When she heard Mrs. Kenny's story about Danny, she said to me: "Mom, we need to do something to cure Tay Sachs.  This is such a sad thing that they lost their 2 year old to this disease."

Thus began this amazing journey of the last few months.  Maggie and I took time to set a goal and put a plan together to reach our goal of raising $200.

Then, step by step, we worked our plan.  Before the bake sale even happened, we received over $300 dollars in donations.  So we had to raise our goal higher!

Maggie put together a beautiful presentation board and did a heart-felt presentation at the Bake Sale.  We ended up raising a total of $500!

But the story does not end there.  In fact, I feel as if it is just beginning.  Last night Maggie presented the check to Mrs. Kenny (see photo above- that is Mrs. Kenny and a beautiful photo of her son Danny).  At the end of our presentation, we said to the audience, "We hope that YOU TOO will be inspired to take action and do something positive just like Maggie has done."

Afterward, a group of 4 high school girls came up to Maggie and said, "Maggie, how can we work with you to do more.  We were so inspired by what you did and we want to do something too."  We exchanged contact information and soon, will follow through with discussions!

So, my sweet Maggie is very excited for the next phase of this journey of helping others!

Here are a few key take-aways from our story:

1.  Act on what your heart tells you is needed.  Our hearts guided us to our calling.  What breaks our hearts can be what gives us Wings as Earth Angels to take flight and do good in the World.  Listen to your heart.  Then, ask, "How can I take action to make a difference?"

2.  Don't underestimate the power of taking action and how it may inspire others.  Maggie's small fundraising efforts turned into a nice donation to help in finding a cure for Tay Sachs.  But, the bigger result, from my perspective, is that she has now inspired others to take action on things they are passionate about.

I pray YOU TOO are inspired to listen to your heart and take flight doing good in the world...

With love from Maggie and her Amazed Mommy,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Goal Meeting: See the Path Forward More Clearly!

Last week, a young man came and chatted with me.  He has a dream of speaking on big stages and being able to help others reach their potential.  Yet, he was stuck.  He had a BIG GOAL and He had belief that he could reach it...but He did not see a clear path to reaching his goal.

I spent some time asking him questions to draw out what potential sub-goals would be on the path to his dream.  We brainstormed together next steps and then suddenly, he felt better!  He could now see a way forward.  He could now see specific next steps he could start taking right away to get moving on the path to living his vision.

Today I offer you some quick nuggets as we continue our learning on GOAL MEETING.  Today's focus is:  Increasing the PATHWAYS to Your Goals.

Many of us have the goals...but we haven't stepped back and taken the time to plan and brainstorm.  We have a goal and we RUSH FORWARD but then we get stuck.  This blog is a quick read --packed with helpful suggestions and ideas to assist you in creating a clear pathway to reaching your goal.

1.  Set sub-goals: we inspired change agents have BIG dreams and goals.  If we take the time to break our big goal into smaller goals, it provides us a path of smaller steps we can take forward as we work to reach the BIG one.

2.  Remember -- there are MANY paths to reaching your goal.  In fact, there are endless ways to reach it.  And, most likely the path to your dream will not be a straight line.  Why not try to open your mind and draw out a variety of paths to the same goal?  Get your mind to expand and be flexible.  Know that there may be many different routes to your dreams.

3.  If you need to learn a new skill to reach your goal, then go take the time to do it!  Equip yourself with the skills and knowledge you need.  This is not a RACE.  This is a process of growth AS you become the person that has the power to reach your dreams.  Grow INTO your goals!

4.  Use Mind Maps to generate pathways.  A mind map is a graphical way to represent your ideas and concepts.  It is a visual thinking tool that helps in structuring information and helps you to generate new ideas. You can use a mind map to brainstorm on your own or with a team.  And, there are Mind Map Apps that are very helpful tools.

5.  There WILL be obstacles (also known as learning opportunities) on the path to meeting your goals.  Why not prepare a script for yourself so that you can coach yourself through those obstacles?  Here are some things you could say:  The road to my dreams may have challenges AND I am up for challenge.  Challenges and obstacles are growth opportunities!  I will be guided to the next steps to take to overcome any seeming challenge that comes my way. I will seek support if needed as I encounter these challenges.  Challenges and obstacles are short term.  I am resilient, determined and I AM going to find a creative way to meet my goal --OR go back to the drawing board to see new possibilities that I may be blind to at the moment.  (You get the idea...create your own thinking script to use in the moments the path gets challenging.)

Which of these ideas will be most helpful to you?  Which one will you give a try THIS WEEK?

Let me know if this has stimulated ideas or helped you see new options in creating a path forward to your goals.  You DESERVE TO MEET those goals :)

With a smile,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Becoming Masterful in Goal Meeting: Increase Your Self-Efficacy!

Isn't it exciting to be learning to become masterful at Goal Meeting?  The past two days I shared posts on HOPE, the foundation for Meeting goals and increase your achievements.

Today I want to take you deeper and equip you with an  understanding of Self-Efficacy and how you can RAISE your self-efficacy levels.  

Reminder:  Hope = Goals + Agency + Pathways.  (Please look back on the last 2 blog posts to get a deep understanding of Hope.  You may found some helpful nuggets to teach and coach others on.

Let's talk today about Agency.  Agency is the belief in one's ability and tenacity (motivation) to achieve their goals.  Many of us have heard of the self-esteem--feeling good about who we are.  Few of us have learned about Self-Efficacy which is a belief in one's capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action require to manage situations.  Or, more simply said:  You BELIEVE in your ability to succeed in any situation. 

So, how can we increase our sense of Self-Efficacy?

Here are some ideas that you can try out:

1.  Recall a situation where you were successful in reaching a goal.  Often, we forge ahead fast and furious on to our next goal.  Take the time to reminisce and FEEL how it felt to achieve the goal.  Notice the process you used, the effort you put in and then the feeling of getting the result you had hoped for!  If you did it once, you have what it takes to do it again.

2.  Take your big goals and break them down into smaller goals.  Then, focus on achieving one sub-goal at a time.  As you complete each sub-goal, do a mini-celebration...yes, get happy about any bit of progress you make.  This will fuel your feeling of confidence as you move forward to the next sub-goal.

3.  Laugh when obstacles arise on your path.  Rather than thinking there is something wrong with you if things don't go as planned, remind yourself that challenges are part of the process in achieving goals.  Challenges are here to build and teach you!  Be grateful for the learning.

4.  Enjoy the process!  While it is exciting to reach the finish line on that big goal, the process of growth that occurs by daily and boldly taking one small step at a time is enriching in and of itself.  Be present.  Enjoy the part of the journey you are in today.

5.  Be your own cheerleader.  Tell your inner critic to step aside and be quiet.  Allow your inner cheerleader to emerge.  Here are the types of things the cheerleader would tell you:  I can do this! I have what it takes to take the next step.  I will learn all I need to know to achieve this goal.  I will find and ask for the support I need.  This journey of goal achievement is exciting and it sometimes gets crazy!  But, I am resourceful and wise. I always can find a way over, around or through any obstacle that arises.

What might happen in your goal achievement if your belief that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS increases?

How much more hopeful would you feel?

Let me know which of these points resonate with you.  Were you aware of the term self-efficacy?  Do you understand it well enough to share these ideas within your circle of influence so you can encourage and inspire others to their next level of success?  (Hey - forward the blog to them so they can learn and grow with you!)

With love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr. 

Friday, April 28, 2017

Going Deeper in Our Understanding of HOPE and Its Benefits!

I felt it would be worth it to spend one more day offering more questions and ideas on Hope as we begin our journey to understand Goal Meeting.

Hope is the deep, rich motivation force for change.  If someone has no hope, they will become very stuck and may feel despair.

If you or someone you know is stuck--struggling with achieving your goals, if you can come back to the three elements of Hope that I taught yesterday (Goals, Agency and Pathways)  and take time to deeply understand, you may be able to connect to insights or key questions that will help you or someone you love keep moving on the path to Goal Meeting!  (Yesterday's Blog: .)

Let's make it super simple.  Here are some questions to consider if you feel stuck:

1.  Is your goal clear enough?
2. Do you believe that you have the power to achieve this goal and are you connected to the motivation within yourself to move forward?
3.  Are you generating and able to visualize multiple pathways to reach this goal?

Why bother with these questions?  Well, if you can better connect to these elements of hope, you will increase your feeling of hopefulness!

Positive psychology research show there are MANY benefits of connecting to hope:  freedom from anxiety and depression, good social relationships and physical well-being.  Hope is also correlated with self-esteem, perceived problem-solving abilities, optimism and a perception of control.

Let this information sink in a bit deeper today.  And, now, let's really personalize this.  Yep, get a pen and paper and start working on the questions I offered above and the ones I'm about to write below.

Think of someone in your life who has a high level of hope.  What do you think makes them so hopeful?

When have YOU felt hopeful?  What was it that allowed you to connect to hope?

My desire is to see you happy and hopeful!  If you feel hope and get moving on your goals, you are going to help this world become better.  If we all feel hopeful and take action on our goals, imagine the energy that might be generated on this planet!

There is plenty of success for us all and what a joy it would be if more of us could more purposefully get on the path to MEETING our Goals!

More to come...I'm going to be sharing more daily tidbits to help you get in Meeting your Goals.

Stay tuned for more!

With a smile,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Ready To Be More Masterful in Goal Meeting? INCREASE HOPE!

So many clients, mentees and friends often come to chat and they are feeling distraught--as if there is no possible way forward to reaching their goals and dreams.  If you feel that way, you are NOT alone.

Today, I'd like to share a very helpful teaching on the foundation of achievement:  HOPE.  I encourage you to grab a piece of paper and take the minutes while you read this blog to answer the questions I offer.  Actively working with this material WHILE you read it may give you some new insights and "aha-s".

How hopeful are you on a daily basis?  Rate yourself:  On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 equals very LITTLE hope, 10 equals HUGE hope), how would you rate your current hope level?

Having hope is a FUNDAMENTAL component for our goals and achievements.  You probably never considered that, right?

If you can raise your Hope Level, you may be amazed at how your ability to begin setting and meeting your goals increases.

There are three components to hope I'd like to offer you today.  (I need to give some BIG CREDIT to The Flourishing Center and their Certificate Program in Applied Positive Psychology...I learned this from them!)

Think of Hope as being composed of 3 dials.  (See below image)

What if you could purposefully begin to play with your HOPE DIALS so that you increase your hope?  Well, you can....

Dial 1 is the WHAT POWER or your GOALS:  How clear are you on what you really want?  Have you taken the time to take all the ideas spinning in your heart and mind and put them on paper?  Even if your ideas aren't fully baked and perfected, beginning to write down what you know is a powerful way to start increasing your hope.

Dial 2 is the Will Power or your AGENCY.  How connected are you to the belief in your ability and tenacity to achieve your goals?  How much do you believe that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to achieve your goals?  

Dial 3 is the WAY POWER:  How good are you at being able to generate possible paths to achieving your goals?  Are you able to brainstorm and visualize a variety of routes to achieving your goals?  

Take a few minutes right now and assess yourself in each of these areas.  On a scale from 1 to 10, rate where you are with each of these dials (Goals, Belief in Yourself and Ability to see Pathways).

Do this with curiosity--NOT JUDGMENT.  Listen, we ALL have so many opportunities to learn and grow.  What I'm offering you today may just provide you some little clues that will spark you to seeing a whole new set of opportunities for self-growth.  

I challenge and encourage you to grow your Self-Awareness on your Hope Levels Today.  In future blogs I am going to offer you nuggets on goal meeting from the best research in positive psychology out there that will guide you forward in becoming better and better and setting AND MEETING your goals.

Feel free to comment or ask questions on what I presented today!

Imagine a more hopeful you!  Imagine if more of your friends, colleagues and family were full of hope!  What if more of us worked on increase our hope?  What might happen in this world?

Share this blog with a friend or family member who needs to amp up their hope...

Increasing my hope with you, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr. 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Dear Change Agent: Proactively Invest Time in Building a Strong Network of Caring

Dear Change Agents, I hope you are energized, ready for all the good in this beautiful day!

I can't tell you how many times I've experienced this:  a mentee or colleague approaches me for some kind of help and it's been a year or more since we had a real conversation.  All too often, people only come knock on the door when they NEED something.

I admit it.  I am guilty of this too sometimes.  Life gets busy, incredibly hectic and we are dealing with the issues and matters and work right in front of our nose.  So, what do we put aside?  Relationship building and extending our network.

Then, what often happens is we approach people only when we NEED something from them. None of us like how it feels when people do that to us, right? Out of the blue, you get contacted for help...and you haven't heard from that person in a year or more!

Most people will think --this person is not serious o! Na wa for them. I tire...abi?

Fostering and growing deep relationships--with mentors, with peers, with colleagues, with those you serve is ESSENTIAL. The stronger and deeper you grow these relationships, the more powerful the results that can eventually come.

When you are choosing to regularly foster and connect with those in your network when you do NOT have a specific agenda -- JUST FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING TO KNOW THEM AND SHOW YOU CARE...even taking the time to OFFER THEM assistance and help where you moments of need, the doors are more easily open because your heart and their heart are genuinely connected.

Have joy and fun as you are guided to reach out to people.  This doesn't need to be something you feel pressure about!  If you consider growing and deepening your network a priority, then you can decide to set a goal around this -- maybe 1 proactive conversation to check on someone in your network each week.  Perhaps a lunch meeting to find out how a colleague is doing professionally and personally.  

What goal could you set?
What relationships is time to start investing in and nurturing?
I'm going to be working on this too!

Have fun with this idea!
With a smile, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.