Tuesday, March 28, 2017

You are Scared by Intense Emotion?!? What if it is there to TEACH YOU!


The other day, a friend and I spent some time together.  I was going through an Intensely emotional experience that day.  I value each and every one of my emotions and I've learned not to be afraid of the feelings.  In the course of our conversation, I let my mask down and the emotions flowed out. Yep, I cried.

I could see the discomfort in my friend's face.  Later, he confessed to me, "I wasn't sure what to do with your emotions."  He did listen as I expressed my feelings.  Just by being willing to sit with me as I shared from my heart, I was able to process through and gain wisdom.  He held the space for me even though he wasn't quite sure what to do.

We talked later in the day.  We laughed together about the situation.  I am and have always been a person who feels and experiences emotions in the most intense ways...the conversation led us to discuss the skill of being comfortable with the whole range of human emotions.  This is one of the biggest gifts I give others as I coach and mentor them.  

I've learned that emotions are POWERFUL VITAL information.  When we allow these emotions to rise and we look at their messages, we find essential clues to what our hearts, mind, body and spirit need.  

One of the MOST POWERFUL skills of coaching is being comfortable with UNCOMFORTABLE emotions. For some reason, we were taught that feelings of sadness, depression, despair, frustration, fear, anxiety, worry -- the "negative range of emotions"--- are to be hidden or run from when we notice them.

What if every emotion offers valuable information?

What if each emotion is simply guidance -- offering us clues to guide us back toward inner balance and well-being?

Our cultural and global programming that we've unconsciously picked up tells us:  Run from Difficult Emotions...Suppress Difficult Emotions...Something is WRONG with you if you feel intense emotions...

How is this programming working for humanity?  Depression is on the rise.  Suicides are on the rise.  Addiction is on the rise.  People are SUFFERING.  (Hey - you may be one of those people, right?)

Why?  Because people have been taught to suffer silently--shoving down and holding in the wide range of emotions that are NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS.

What if we decided to shift this belief system to:  Emotions are beautiful.  They guide and lead us toward greater self-understanding.  Emotions are guidance and signals that can be loved, understood and leveraged to grow our awareness of what we deeply yearn for and need for our lives.

If you are a person who mentors, coaches, teachers or inspires others...or even just a person who desires to be a good friend to people:  it is essential that you learn the skill of BEING with and LEARNING from each and every emotion. This skill takes practice!

You can begin by practicing with your OWN emotions.

Become more comfortable with your own range of emotions.
Become more skilled at processing your emotions.

Be willing to love and appreciate the whole range of emotions you have.

Gain wisdom from your emotions.

As you do that for yourself, you will then be able to be with others in their discomfort, holding the space for them.

On a daily basis, check in with yourself.  Throughout the day notice what emotions you feel. Take time to journal your feelings and process them on paper.  Get help from a skilled friend, coach, therapist or counselor who can work with you and teach you the process of welcoming and learning from your emotional guidance.

Consider these questions....(Take time to write out your answers....)

Personal Awareness Question: What is the most uncomfortable emotion you felt recently? What was it there to show you?

Skill Growth Question: On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being expert, 1 being unskilled), how would you rate your current skill level in handling the intense and more challenging emotions of yourself and others? Where would you like to be with this skill?

Vision Question:  How might your abilities to help yourself and others grow if you became more skilled at loving and understanding the most difficult emotions?

I pray that this blog opens you up to a new view on emotions...I pray that you begin to see the value of the emotional guidance system your have!

I send you love...we are all in this journey together...and it certainly IS a deeply emotional one....if you are stuck or need support, I am only an email away.

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com


Monday, March 27, 2017

Conscious Ways to Help Transform the Epidemic of Loneliness (One Person at a Time)

Each of us has a Grand Opportunity Available in our relationships. Take 3 minutes. Read this blog CLOSELY. This will reveal opportunities to you to increase your LOVING IMPACT.

Clearly, people all around us are suffering. Many are feeling lonely EVEN if they appear to be surrounded by family and friends. Brain scans shows us that people who feel lonely have brain regions activated similar to that of physical pain. (Perhaps you have had a time of life that has been true for you.) 


I want to introduce you to the Social Convoy Model.  I learned about this in my Positive Psychology Certification and it helped me find opportunities to take my positive impact in relationships to a whole new level.  Notice how these levels of relationships show up in your life.

3 levels of relationships from the Triad of Belonging - Social Convoy Model

1. Interaction: a label for a social exchange.

2. Concern: interactions that include expression of awareness about your needs.

3. Caring: not only is it a deeper understanding of a person's situation, but also expressing a willingness to help as needed.


Where in your life do you have an opportunity to purposefully create a sense of belonging for Yourself and Others?

Which of your relationships might you move from a simple interaction to demonstrating a sense of concern?

Which of your relationships might you move from showing concern for someone to taking the next step and demonstrating caring?

The challenge this week: Become aware and present as you move through your week. Be purposeful in deepening your interactions with others (don't get stuck in your mind thinking of past or future). Be fully present as you move through the day. Play with these levels...seek to deepen your connections in the moments you chat with others.

I will be doing this with you. Please take a minute to write down a your plan to give this a try!


Together, as loving agents of change on the planet, we can make a difference throughout our days!

With all my love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

Saturday, March 25, 2017

What Is Your Current Life Coursework?

Many of us are experts at caring for and investing in others. Yet we lack the same level of expertise in pouring love into ourselves.

My generational patterns, passed down to me by my relatives, include the hard-core German belief: work-is-the-only-valuable thing to do. Pleasure, play, Self-care? It was all seen as frivolous, a waste of time and resources.

Thus, I remain on my own cutting edge of growth--learning to lighten up, to relax, to play, to shower myself with compassion.

The good news is that self-love and play are fun life coursework to choose to focus on!

In what way are you needing to love, honor and cherish yourself more?

What generational patterns and beliefs is it time to become more conscious of? (Notice ways you may be sabotaging yourself unconsciously!)

I don't know about you, but I'm 1000% committed to Thrive. I want to feel great, enjoy my life AS I serve humanity with my unique gifts.

So, I am going to keep actualizing all I teach and coach others to be and do. Living the transformation is exciting AND yes, super- uncomfortable. And Totally Worth every ounce of effort.

What is your current life coursework?

How can you take steps to Thrive?

See you on the cutting edge 😎 

With all my love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com 

Monday, March 20, 2017

YOUR ESSENTIAL GIFTS: Dear Change Agent, Please Step Forward Today


This weekend was FUN.  Our family had the opportunity to spend time with an amazing change agent.  What made it so delightful is that this young man KNOWS his gifts and has been spending YEARS developing himself.  Talk about focused --you can see that his determined spirit, his relentless focus on his journey of success and growth has brought him depth of knowledge and a sense of confidence.
As we sat together in a local Barnes and Nobles, I felt so grateful to be collaborating.  At one point in the conversation he said something like, "I didn't think your talents would need what I have but I see that our gifts and strengths compliment one another."  

Listen. I  am very talented.  I have an eternal, endless fount of inspiration that I allow to flow through me to each of you day in and day out.  This change agent sees it, benefits from it and is in awe of my gifts.

And, I am in AWE of his gifts too.  His ability to understand my brand, foresee opportunities to grow my impact --it is a skill set that I am excited about.  My vision is to use what comes through me to reach as many people on this planet as possible.  He knows how to help me do that!

I'm telling you this, Dearest Change Agent, because the truth is:  Each of us is a UNIQUE configuration.  You have strengths, talents, gifts and a calling that THIS PLANET NEEDS RIGHT NOW.  Your work is to keep stepping forward, one baby step at a time, to develop yourself, play with your gifts and grow more fully into your purpose.  

This does not need to be a serious, heavy calling.  In fact, this is the most exciting, light-filled, joyful opportunity anyone, anywhere can have!  Why not see it that way?  

Life beckons each of us to get moving and shaking.  Yes, right there in your little realm of influence, start experimenting and having fun --using your heart and talents to share love in the best way you know how.

As each of us do so, we are guided to destiny points!  Preparation meets opportunity and miracles then can manifest all around us.  

Don't shy away from the HARD WORK of developing yourself.  Start sweating.  Anything worth doing requires some effort.  Get off your couch, get out from behind your social media handles...get out into your local community and find ways to work on those gifts.  Come out from behind your bashfulness and insecurity and experiment!  Have loving conversations.  Offer to use your gifts in service to others.  Seize the day.


And, like this amazing change agent shared with our family this weekend:  DIE EMPTY.  Pour yourself out every day--your love, your talent, your passion, your joy--use all that you have to be All that YOU CAN be.  Then, it is certain, you will never have regret.  And in allowing the Divine to FLOW fully through your life, you open up a miraculous journey.  Step forward today.  YOU ARE NEEDED.

I'm only an email away if you feel stuck.  I thrive on helping change agents rise and get their breakthroughs!

I'm praying for YOU today, 

Together...WE RISE!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com








Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Dear Change Agent: PLEASE RELAX YOUR MIND

Dear Change Agent,

I know you.  You are SUPER-focused on making an impact.  You are ALL-IN.  You spend day after day and night after night contemplating and working on your vision. You have relentless passion.  You are uber-focused.

Yet, the inner pressure that you allow to build up is actually hindering your progress.  You told me the other day, "I feel demoralized.  I have such a big calling.  I am trying so hard.  I know I can get bigger results.  But, this is slow going and it is difficult."

Here's the thing I need to remind you of today:  Your Calling is Life-long.  I know you have been given a vision of HUGE, ENORMOUS impact and harvests.  This is NOT meant to happen overnight.

Think of it this way.  Imagine a young farmer, just getting started.  He can see where he wants to be in 10 years.  He can visualize the lands he will have bought, the variety of crops he will have planted, the truck loads of fruits of his labor that will be sold throughout his country ---one day.....

Yet, all he has today is one small plot of land.  So, he sits looking at that little patch of dirt feeling demoralized?

(Excuse my language:  HELL NO!)

He celebrates that he actually has that little plot of dirt.  He is happy he has a handful of seeds to get started with.  He realizes he is new at this farming thing so he rolls up his sleeves.  He gets his hands dirty. He falls in the mud on certain days and loses his balance as he tends to his little garden.  He makes some errors when working on his plot but he stays focused and learns from each mistake.  With time,  he perfects his ability to get an enormous crop with his little plot.  He prepares for the day when he will have a sizable farm in his possession.  But, for now, he is happy and focused.  He planted the seed and he knows the process works:  plant, water, weed and WAIT PATIENTLY.  He remembers that the harvest comes.

So, why would he sit demoralized that it is taking time for the seeds to grow and bear fruit?

Why wouldn't he instead use that life energy to educate himself and prepare for the next stage when he has an even bigger plot of land and more seeds?

Should he sit and be-little himself because he is starting small?
Should he look at those a few years beyond him and feel less important because he is not that far along?

HELL NO!

Why would he drain his energy, beat himself up inside and get stuck in social comparison?

Ok...so, when I say it this way you are laughing.

But, in those quiet moments, when you are sitting with yourself --you lament.  You get stuck in self-judgment.  You allow your fears and your self-doubt to attack and take over your mind, don't you?

It's ok.

Grow your awareness of these clear, inner patterns in your thoughts.
Get ready:  Next time these fear-based thoughts try to take over your mind and want to drain your vital life energy, you will say a "HELL NO!"

And, here is what you will think instead:

I am an agent of change.
I am on earth for a purpose.
I love small beginnings--it is a fun process of growth and learning.
I celebrate where I am.
I am dedicated to my journey as a change agent.
I am IN IT FOR LIFE.
I have a Life-Long vision.
I TRUST THE HARVEST PROCESS.

I fuel my mind with thoughts of growth and progress.
I spend my energy building myself up, growing my skills, having a good time as I learn.

My life is on schedule.
I ENJOY this journey.
The JOY of my calling is my strength.

I lay aside thoughts that no longer serve me:
Good bye, Self-doubt.
Good bye, Comparison Thinking.
Good bye, Guilt of Not Being Farther Along.
Good bye, Fear of the future.

Hello to owning my amazing, unique, Divine configuration.
I am purposefully and wonderfully made!
Hello to being grateful for the progress I see in others.
I see the beauty of what is unfolding for others and I am inspired by their progress!
Hello to seeing that each day is a purposeful opportunity to learn and grow.
I recognize that EVERY moment and EVERY experience I have had has brought me to this point in time.
Hello to Trusting the process.
I choose to work hard, plant my seeds and leave the harvest to God.

Wow.
So, if you adopted this thinking, would you ever feel demoralized?

It's your day, dear change agent, to consider creating new thought-habits in your mind.
The new thoughts will create a new state of emotion in your being.
The empowered thoughts will inspire your body, mind and spirit.

Why would that farmer ever waste a day in self-pity when there is joyful work to be done?

Your life, your journey of purpose, your growth as a change agent, your UNIQUE calling is on schedule and is ESSENTIAL to the planet right now.

I need you to print this out.
I want you to read and re-read this letter as often as needed.
I want you to write down the new thoughts I offered you and read them morning, noon and night UNTIL, you think them naturally.

I adore you. I believe in you.  I know how powerful you are and I am EXCITED to see you unleash your joy, your power, your creativity!

Those big fields and harvests will come one day.  Then it will be you, offering this encouragement to that young, small farmer just getting started.

It is more well with your journey than you realize.

Say HELL NO to anything that drains your energy today.
Say HELL YES! to living your calling with love today.

With my deepest appreciation and awe of you and your journey,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

P.S. I am one email or chat away if you get stuck. Reach out as needed.


Monday, March 13, 2017

Donkey, Lion & Happy Child -- Fascinating Stages & Choices of Being

I've shared this idea with some but not all of you. It popped into my mind today. So, will share a metaphor.

There is an evolution we go through in our journey to personal awakening.

First stage: The aimless told-what-to-do donkey/camel -- we are wandering and going only where we are told to go. Then, one day, we wake up and realize we have power to chart our own course.

Second stage: the Bold Lion who roars. When we wake up to our power, we can't help but ROAR and SHOUT and CONVINCE and tell others of the Truth we have come to. We can become overpowering, in people's faces at times. We have a voice! We know we have POWER.   Then, with time, we realize this approach may not always be best in all circumstances.  We discover a third phase.

Third stage: The Happy Child. After we've spent time roaring, convincing, pushing others to get to where we are, we finally wake up and realize all we have to do is be a Happy Child who knows and lives and fully embodies the truth. It is our life that speaks. It is our joy that will change others. We do not need to force or push. We just wake up and fully live with zest, zeal and total trust in God.

Just notice. You may be in different stages (Donkey/Lion/Child) in different aspects of your life.

I see in my own life, that the more I embody the "Happy Child", the easier the journey becomes and the more fun I have. And, the more others ASK me for the answer. I share it with no need to convince. I trust others to their journey. They too, will go through their own process of awakening to their power.

How much power would you be able to shift to your own work if you didn't push your truth on others--unless there is a specific moment when you are shown your BOLD LION MUST ROAR?

How much more would you LIVE joyfully if you trusted others to their own journey?

The Happy child speaks their truth in the most poignant, simple, easy ways. (Listen, I am in awe of my own children and how they say exactly what is needed to wake me up -- in their innocence and wisdom.)

What if you could BE AWARE and PURPOSEFULLY choose whether to be the donkey, the lion or the child depending on what the situation called for? Very consciously choosing with wisdom?

Hmmm...shape shifting --guided in the moment!

What do you take from this for your journey today?
Who in your life could benefit from hearing these stages?

With love...growing more aware with you, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Game-Changing Mindset: BE In IT For Life! (This WILL Soothe Your Soul Today)

He had been successful early.  A business that took off faster than he could have imagined.  Yet the twists and turns brought the business to a downfall.  Now, as he tries to rebuild he feels guilt.  He judges himself and beats himself up inside because he "ruined it all."  And now that success isn't coming as quickly as before, he feels there must be something wrong with him and wrong with his life.  He approached me with a sense of despair and such a build up of inner pressure and stress that even though we were chatting online, I could FEEL his energy from thousands of miles away.

She is multi-talented.  Nobody had taught her about living a life of purpose.  Until now.  Finally in her mid-20s she was waking up to her gifts and seeing how much power she has inside to bring positive change to the world around her.  Yet, guilt haunts her mind.  How could she have waited for so long?  How much further along would she have been if she knew this and acted upon it years ago?  She spends hours a day contemplating the past and feeling bad inside for not knowing then what she knows now.  She came to me with regrets and feeling overwhelmed.  Now she was in a frantic catch-up mode:  her peers were ahead of her and she felt a rush to catch up on her dreams.  I could sense the inner sadness, the harshness she was aiming at herself, the cage of pressure she had built around her.

Can you relate to either of these examples above?

I sit in chat after chat and conversation after conversation with coaching clients, mentees and friends.  I hear judgment after judgment they place on THEMSELVES:

I am not far enough along.
I should have been more successful by now.
What is wrong with me?
Why is this struggle to achieve so challenging?
Why is everyone else getting ahead and I feel like I am falling behind?
I must try harder and work myself to the bone to break through this.
Maybe I am not good enough.
Maybe I had my moment and there is no success left for me on my path ahead.
Maybe I should change courses because things aren't working.
Maybe I don't have what it takes to succeed or make a difference.
Maybe I should give up and forget about all this -- it is just SO hard.
I have made mistakes that define my past and now I can't break free of them.
I am small compared to others around me.
I am not far enough along.

Ok. Now, do you relate to any of the above thinking?

How do you feel when you feed your mind thoughts like this?

Bad...really bad inside, right?

How do thoughts like this affect your life and progress?

It's okay. I know you don't want to answer that question because it is so hard to acknowledge.  So let me answer for you.

Thoughts of inner pressure, stress and feelings of not good enough ROB YOU of your personal power.  They take you away from the gorgeous opportunities of the present moment and into the cage of despair in the pits of your being.  Self-judgment is another word for:  Self-Torture.  Yes, let me say it like it is.

Most people I work with have built an inner chamber of torture.  On a daily basis, maybe multiple times throughout the day, they walk themselves down the stairs into the inner depths.  They then take out their self-harm tools and they unleash a beating on themselves until they are bleeding inside.  They are their own worst enemies -- even those with the most beautiful of hearts and the most purposeful of callings--they learned somewhere along the way to BE HARSH on themselves.

It saddens me to see this.  And, I see it every day.

So, I sit with these precious souls one by one.  I listen to their painful stories and harsh judgments.  I sit compassionately as they pour out their hearts courageously to me.  Then, I work with them to evaluate this thinking that is causing them self-sabotage.

I offer them a new way to think of themselves and their journeys to purpose and success:

My dearest friend, the success journey is designed to be hard!  There are ups and downs.  There are unexpected pitfalls.  There are roadblocks that seem daunting and there are people who may laugh at you when you get stuck.  It's ok.  That IS the journey.  Why not accept the fact that it is MEANT and DESIGNED to BE Challenging to help MAKE you into the most resilient, creative, unstoppable version of yourself you can be?

My dearest friend, you are at  the perfect point on your journey right now.  Yes, you may have lost everything.  You may feel stuck.  You may be unsure of yourself.  You may think you should be more successful by now.  It is OK.  Why not see instead that Your Life is ON SCHEDULE.  It is time now to begin trusting the process and seeing it all as the grand adventure that it is.  You are exactly where you are meant to be in this moment.  As you release the self-doubt and self-judgment, and you begin to open your eyes to the beauty of the present moment, you will find everything you need to move forward today.  When you find peace with yourself, you will unleash your creativity.  When you accept yourself as you are, where you are and trust the process of Life's Ever-Unfolding Curriculum, you can have fun and celebrate BOTH the highs and lows.  You can begin to make room for ALL of Life.

Listen, I don't know about you, but I am ALL IN on the path of my highest potential.
I am 100% dedicated for the LONG Haul.



Yes, change agent -- I am IN IT FOR LIFE.  And, obstacles of today won't stop me.  They are here to show me just how determined and resourceful I can be.

Yes, change agent -- I am IN IT FOR LIFE.  And, those naysayers and judgers who want to mock my journey, they are there to help me LOOK WITHIN and KNOW my OWN POWER.  As I realize that I do not need anyone's approval nor appreciation --since I can generate that fuel myself, I become joyful and full of humor as I listen to the peanut gallery chatting away wasting their precious time and energy focused on my journey instead of pouring their hearts and minds into their own progress.

Yes, change agent -- the path to living your purpose can feel quite hard--sometimes it feels like you are knee deep in mud.  But that doesn't mean something is wrong with YOU.  It just means you have some exciting, intensive life coursework you are being given.  You will wade through that mud successfully if you stay present, call on the Divine forces to support you and surround yourself with encouragers and successful change agent mentors who can guide and cheer you on while you move through the mud pits.

I felt the need today to offer you a GAME-CHANGING mindset.  As I sit with remarkable souls who are a bit lost in self-doubt and despair and offer them these ideas, I can feel their energy change.

"You mean, it is okay to be just as I am, where I am right now?" they ask.
"Yes, dear, you are doing just fine.  Just embrace the journey, be compassionate to yourself, you are trying so hard--maybe too hard." I respond.
"You mean that other people feel the way I do too?" they wonder.
"Yes, dear, I hear this trapped thinking all the time.  You are not the only one." I assure.
"You mean that failing is not a bad thing?" they inquire.
"Yes, dear, failing just means you tried something and it didn't work out this time.  You can keep trying again and again and one day, you are going to get that breakthrough.  So, stop judging the results and instead have fun with the PROCESS.  Learn every moment and then you will be amazed at just how rich and equipped you become BECAUSE OF the CHALLENGES."

I write this blog to reach thousands, tens of thousands, even millions.

How I wish that I could have this same heartfelt conversation with every one of the 7 Billion people on the planet.  How I wish that more people relaxed inside, offered themselves compassion, opened up to realize the challenges are PURPOSEFULLY designed for their highest good.  How I wish each one knew that their lives are on schedule and they are permitted to have fun experimenting with becoming their best self and finding their way to their own unique version of success and meaning.

You are doing just fine, friend -- no matter how life looks right now.  Just embrace yourself for your efforts and your heart.

Everything is going to turn out just fine if you relax into the process, learn and grow each step of the way and trust that your gifts will emerge as you keep showing up with courage on a daily basis.

I offer you the highest love and respect possible.
We are all in this together and I know NOW MORE THAN EVER -- we are here to live our purposes for LIFE.

All my love,
Trish Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com