Becoming Masterful in Goal Meeting: Increase Your Self-Efficacy!

Isn't it exciting to be learning to become masterful at Goal Meeting?  The past two days I shared posts on HOPE, the foundation for Meeting goals and increase your achievements.

Today I want to take you deeper and equip you with an  understanding of Self-Efficacy and how you can RAISE your self-efficacy levels.  

Reminder:  Hope = Goals + Agency + Pathways.  (Please look back on the last 2 blog posts to get a deep understanding of Hope.  You may found some helpful nuggets to teach and coach others on.

Day 1: Connect to Hope - Become Masterful in Goal Meeting

Day 2: Going Deeper In Our Understanding of Hope )

Let's talk today about Agency.  Agency is the belief in one's ability and tenacity (motivation) to achieve their goals.  Many of us have heard of the self-esteem--feeling good about who we are.  Few of us have learned about Self-Efficacy which is a belief in one's capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action require to manage situations.  Or, more simply said:  You BELIEVE in your ability to succeed in any situation. 

So, how can we increase our sense of Self-Efficacy?

Here are some ideas that you can try out:

1.  Recall a situation where you were successful in reaching a goal.  Often, we forge ahead fast and furious on to our next goal.  Take the time to reminisce and FEEL how it felt to achieve the goal.  Notice the process you used, the effort you put in and then the feeling of getting the result you had hoped for!  If you did it once, you have what it takes to do it again.

2.  Take your big goals and break them down into smaller goals.  Then, focus on achieving one sub-goal at a time.  As you complete each sub-goal, do a mini-celebration...yes, get happy about any bit of progress you make.  This will fuel your feeling of confidence as you move forward to the next sub-goal.

3.  Laugh when obstacles arise on your path.  Rather than thinking there is something wrong with you if things don't go as planned, remind yourself that challenges are part of the process in achieving goals.  Challenges are here to build and teach you!  Be grateful for the learning.

4.  Enjoy the process!  While it is exciting to reach the finish line on that big goal, the process of growth that occurs by daily and boldly taking one small step at a time is enriching in and of itself.  Be present.  Enjoy the part of the journey you are in today.

5.  Be your own cheerleader.  Tell your inner critic to step aside and be quiet.  Allow your inner cheerleader to emerge.  Here are the types of things the cheerleader would tell you:  I can do this! I have what it takes to take the next step.  I will learn all I need to know to achieve this goal.  I will find and ask for the support I need.  This journey of goal achievement is exciting and it sometimes gets crazy!  But, I am resourceful and wise. I always can find a way over, around or through any obstacle that arises.

What might happen in your goal achievement if your belief that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS increases?

How much more hopeful would you feel?

Let me know which of these points resonate with you.  Were you aware of the term self-efficacy?  Do you understand it well enough to share these ideas within your circle of influence so you can encourage and inspire others to their next level of success?  (Hey - forward the blog to them so they can learn and grow with you!)

With love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com 

Going Deeper in Our Understanding of HOPE and Its Benefits!

I felt it would be worth it to spend one more day offering more questions and ideas on Hope as we begin our journey to understand Goal Meeting.

Hope is the deep, rich motivation force for change.  If someone has no hope, they will become very stuck and may feel despair.

If you or someone you know is stuck--struggling with achieving your goals, if you can come back to the three elements of Hope that I taught yesterday (Goals, Agency and Pathways)  and take time to deeply understand, you may be able to connect to insights or key questions that will help you or someone you love keep moving on the path to Goal Meeting!  (Yesterday's Blog: http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2017/04/ready-to-be-more-masterful-in-goal.html .)

Let's make it super simple.  Here are some questions to consider if you feel stuck:

1.  Is your goal clear enough?
2. Do you believe that you have the power to achieve this goal and are you connected to the motivation within yourself to move forward?
3.  Are you generating and able to visualize multiple pathways to reach this goal?

Why bother with these questions?  Well, if you can better connect to these elements of hope, you will increase your feeling of hopefulness!

Positive psychology research show there are MANY benefits of connecting to hope:  freedom from anxiety and depression, good social relationships and physical well-being.  Hope is also correlated with self-esteem, perceived problem-solving abilities, optimism and a perception of control.

Let this information sink in a bit deeper today.  And, now, let's really personalize this.  Yep, get a pen and paper and start working on the questions I offered above and the ones I'm about to write below.

Think of someone in your life who has a high level of hope.  What do you think makes them so hopeful?

When have YOU felt hopeful?  What was it that allowed you to connect to hope?

My desire is to see you happy and hopeful!  If you feel hope and get moving on your goals, you are going to help this world become better.  If we all feel hopeful and take action on our goals, imagine the energy that might be generated on this planet!

There is plenty of success for us all and what a joy it would be if more of us could more purposefully get on the path to MEETING our Goals!

More to come...I'm going to be sharing more daily tidbits to help you get in Meeting your Goals.

Stay tuned for more!

With a smile,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

Ready To Be More Masterful in Goal Meeting? INCREASE HOPE!

So many clients, mentees and friends often come to chat and they are feeling distraught--as if there is no possible way forward to reaching their goals and dreams.  If you feel that way, you are NOT alone.

Today, I'd like to share a very helpful teaching on the foundation of achievement:  HOPE.  I encourage you to grab a piece of paper and take the minutes while you read this blog to answer the questions I offer.  Actively working with this material WHILE you read it may give you some new insights and "aha-s".

How hopeful are you on a daily basis?  Rate yourself:  On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 equals very LITTLE hope, 10 equals HUGE hope), how would you rate your current hope level?

Having hope is a FUNDAMENTAL component for our goals and achievements.  You probably never considered that, right?

If you can raise your Hope Level, you may be amazed at how your ability to begin setting and meeting your goals increases.

There are three components to hope I'd like to offer you today.  (I need to give some BIG CREDIT to The Flourishing Center and their Certificate Program in Applied Positive Psychology...I learned this from them!)

Think of Hope as being composed of 3 dials.  (See below image)

What if you could purposefully begin to play with your HOPE DIALS so that you increase your hope?  Well, you can....

Dial 1 is the WHAT POWER or your GOALS:  How clear are you on what you really want?  Have you taken the time to take all the ideas spinning in your heart and mind and put them on paper?  Even if your ideas aren't fully baked and perfected, beginning to write down what you know is a powerful way to start increasing your hope.

Dial 2 is the Will Power or your AGENCY.  How connected are you to the belief in your ability and tenacity to achieve your goals?  How much do you believe that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to achieve your goals?  

Dial 3 is the WAY POWER:  How good are you at being able to generate possible paths to achieving your goals?  Are you able to brainstorm and visualize a variety of routes to achieving your goals?  

Take a few minutes right now and assess yourself in each of these areas.  On a scale from 1 to 10, rate where you are with each of these dials (Goals, Belief in Yourself and Ability to see Pathways).

Do this with curiosity--NOT JUDGMENT.  Listen, we ALL have so many opportunities to learn and grow.  What I'm offering you today may just provide you some little clues that will spark you to seeing a whole new set of opportunities for self-growth.  

I challenge and encourage you to grow your Self-Awareness on your Hope Levels Today.  In future blogs I am going to offer you nuggets on goal meeting from the best research in positive psychology out there that will guide you forward in becoming better and better and setting AND MEETING your goals.

Feel free to comment or ask questions on what I presented today!

Imagine a more hopeful you!  Imagine if more of your friends, colleagues and family were full of hope!  What if more of us worked on increase our hope?  What might happen in this world?

Share this blog with a friend or family member who needs to amp up their hope...

Increasing my hope with you, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com 

Dear Change Agent: Proactively Invest Time in Building a Strong Network of Caring

Dear Change Agents, I hope you are energized, ready for all the good in this beautiful day!

I can't tell you how many times I've experienced this:  a mentee or colleague approaches me for some kind of help and it's been a year or more since we had a real conversation.  All too often, people only come knock on the door when they NEED something.

I admit it.  I am guilty of this too sometimes.  Life gets busy, incredibly hectic and we are dealing with the issues and matters and work right in front of our nose.  So, what do we put aside?  Relationship building and extending our network.

Then, what often happens is we approach people only when we NEED something from them. None of us like how it feels when people do that to us, right? Out of the blue, you get contacted for help...and you haven't heard from that person in a year or more!

Most people will think --this person is not serious o! Na wa for them. I tire...abi?

Fostering and growing deep relationships--with mentors, with peers, with colleagues, with those you serve is ESSENTIAL. The stronger and deeper you grow these relationships, the more powerful the results that can eventually come.

When you are choosing to regularly foster and connect with those in your network when you do NOT have a specific agenda -- JUST FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING TO KNOW THEM AND SHOW YOU CARE...even taking the time to OFFER THEM assistance and help where you can...THEN...in moments of need, the doors are more easily open because your heart and their heart are genuinely connected.

Have joy and fun as you are guided to reach out to people.  This doesn't need to be something you feel pressure about!  If you consider growing and deepening your network a priority, then you can decide to set a goal around this -- maybe 1 proactive conversation to check on someone in your network each week.  Perhaps a lunch meeting to find out how a colleague is doing professionally and personally.  

What goal could you set?

What relationships is time to start investing in and nurturing?

I'm going to be working on this too!

Have fun with this idea!

With a smile, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com 

Dear Change Agent: Heal these Two Thinking Viruses that Get in the Way of Collaborative Relationships!

Going to the next DEEP Awareness of Collaboration & WHAT GETS IN THE WAY of authentic collaborations...I challenge you to read this next dose of this blog series I am writing on Collaboration.  

(I encourage you to go back and read the last 2....this is like a MASTER CLASS on Collaboration and generally, on human interaction:  Dear Change Agent: Purposefully Build Relationships  and Dear Change Agent: What You Seek is Finding You! )

Today I offer you two key Mental Viruses that hinder us in our relationships and in our potential collaborations.  Please take the time to read this closely with the intent of finding something you can APPLY so that you TRANSFORM!

1. Too often, we are afraid we will be judged or we are afraid of what the other person will think. So, we hold back in an interaction...worrying...getting stuck in our head -- listening to the voice of our Inner Critic, "They may not like you....they may think you are crazy...they may not accept your ideas...they may tell others negative things about you..." 

When we worry about what others think, (FEAR and SELF-DOUBT), we can't be present and we are in our heads rather than paying attention to what is happening in the moment between us and the other person. It is hard to have a genuine interaction when we are stuck in low-self esteem.

Antidote: Notice your self-judgment. Tune in to the voice of the Inner Critic. Thank this voice for showing you, guiding you to what still needs to be healed within yourself. Then, work on a deeper level of accepting yourself for who you are, where you are on the journey. Become more and more comfortable in your own skin. When this happens, you show up genuine, confident and knowing your own value. If that was the case, how might your relationships transform?

2. We think there is a "Hierarchy" -- "some are better than others -- because of wealth, status, skills and progress of career etc." Hmmmm. Question that one. Listen: we all come in naked and guess what? In the casket, we are all going back with nothing in our hands. Each and every person on the planet is a grand spirit! 

Some of us are born into poverty, others are born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Our level of wealth has nothing to do with our worthiness. Now, society and humanity have thought patterns that people have bought into that you may have allowed to INFECT YOUR THINKING. Notice if you still are bought into a "hierarchical thinking" based on external factors.

Listen - some of us when we get even a little bit of success -- we start to treat others different. We think we are now "big men" or "big women" and perhaps we become the oppressor since we have been oppressed by others who treated us that way. Here is a test for you: How do you treat a waiter in a restaurant? Or a driver of your car or bus? If you aren't treating them with total respect and human dignity, you may be infected with this hierarchical thinking. If you look down on anyone because of their appearance, or their status, your mind is infected.

If you feel less than compared to someone who is older or who seems more successful than you -- you are INFECTED with this mental virus.

If you feel more than another human being -- you are INFECTED with this mental virus.

Please, abeg: Clean up this thinking.

Antidote: We are all equal. We are all intrinsically valuable, born worthy ---regardless of our outer circumstances. So, regardless of age, status, family you were born into: KNOW YOUR INTRINSIC VALUE. You are acceptable and worthy just as you are right now. OF COURSE--WE ALL have room to grow, to become more of our best selves. Show up and have total dignity and TREAT OTHERS WITH TOTAL DIGNITY.

I really hope you are paying attention and EXTRACTING value -- trying these ideas out. If you are, you know you are transforming from within...and you WILL get new results in your life.

Dearest Human Family: please question any remaining self-doubt or self-judgment. If you want to transform your relationships and grow in your personal power...the truths I just mentioned to you above are essential to embody. 

If you want to be wise in your collaborations -- you will show up to the moment with your eyes wide open...reading the energy of the other person...listening to what is actually being said...and seeing if you are being GUIDED to collaboration or Guided away from collaboration. Remember, the people in this family do not THROW PEARLS TO SWINE ;) 

It is not EVERYONE that we will join together with in collaboration. 

Yet, at the same time, we can bring compassionate acceptance to each person we encounter and in doing so, we SEE the level of consciousness the other person is at and we can make a good, wise assessment and BE KIND at the same time, offering others the gift of our total presence. Just doing this all day, every day, will bring transformation to the planet. 

How does it feel when someone genuinely interacts with you and you feel their acceptance? Doesn't it lift you up and change you inside? Energize you? This is what we can give as we walk the planet all day, every day.

Ok. Deep stuff. What did you take from this? What inner work is needed in your mindset and thinking? If you do the inner work, the outer results will astound you.

With total love and awe of YOU, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com 

Dear Change Agent: What You Seek is Finding You - Pay Attention!

Yesterday, I shared with each of you that it is ESSENTIAL to build trusted, solid relationships.  On this path to creating positive, global change, we NEED one another!

After the blog emerged, I received many questions on HOW to do this.

Of course, there are a million and one ways to meet people.  But, I want to give you the simple, easiest path forward on this.  A VERY clear next step each and every one of us has the power to take.

Sometimes we think we have to TRY to network. We have to FIGURE OUT how to meet the right people. My understanding of life has deepened and expanded. 

This may blow your mind but here is the truth I've come to:

What we seek is FINDING US! IF -- pay attention to the IF.    

IF: you learn to be more and more present and hear your voice of inner guidance show you the simple, happy path forward.

Here's the thing: Everything we need for our highest potential IS provided. But too many of us are too scattered or too in our heads to see the provision that is ALREADY around us.

Yesterday's post was on taking the time to build trusted relationships. There is LOW HANGING FRUIT (easy wins) all around you. Who IS ALREADY on YOUR PATH that you have not taken the time to know deeply?

What we will find is that as we WAKE UP TO OUR LIVES -- AS WE LIVE JOYFULLY in the moment instead of regretting our past or TRYING so hard in our heads to FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE SUCCESS HAPPEN. As we are happy children trusting God, moving lovingly forward, MIRACLES HAPPEN.

(Hang with me, yes this post is a longer one.)

I want to introduce a concept on networking that is VERY DIFFERENT than what others teach.

Guided Networking: Show Up With FULL Presence (to as MANY moments as you possibly can.)
Interact deeply with those you encounter. Bring your heart and your full awareness to the moment. See people with new eyes. Hear them with NEW ears. Tune into their energy. What are they REALLY trying to tell you?

Interact deeply with those you encounter: This means -- take it a step beyond -- HOW NOW? -- be willing and open to go into new territory with conversation...this MAY mean that you are a bit vulnerable and open up your heart a tiny bit...and in doing so you may find the mask comes down on the other person to.

Our paths are aligned.

Our lives are on schedule.

Show up joyfully to the day knowing:

I am exactly where I am meant to be today.

All the people I am meant to meet will show up.

All the opportunities designed for me are unfolding on my path.

I FULLY AND COMPLETELY trust this miraculous process of growing into and living my full potential.

(Yes, write these affirmations down - say them aloud with JOY every day for the next 30 days!)

How would that feel? What insight did you gain that you will go and apply?

Growing with you and GROWING TOGETHER!

With my love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Dear Change Agent: Purposefully Build Trusted Relationships

Beautiful Family - Yesterday I had a chat with one of my closest mentees, a solid change agent who has been working passionately to create positive change for YEARS.

When I suggested he begin to take more time to build trusted relationships with some of the other change agents I've introduced to him he said, "But I'm so focused on putting food on the table for my family to survive.  I don't have time."   Hmmmm.

Here's an option I suggested he should consider and a mindset I asked him to adopt: Taking daily time to build trusted, long-term relationships is ESSENTIAL TO PUTTING Daily food on the table. The people you build trusted relationships with over time may have exactly the strengths and the contacts and the connection to opportunities YOU need to put the next round of food on your table. And YOU may have what they need too!

Affirm: I take daily time to build solid, trusting relationships and expand my network.

Please, please, please -- CHANGE AGENTS--- I beg you! A mindset change is needed!   Listen, I'm hustling TOO to put food on the table every day AND I can also regularly invest in growing relationships with MANY people on a daily basis. Whether it is a quick chat via social media to know someone new or touch base with someone I have a relationship with, a quick phone call to check how they are or a meet-up to share a meal and take a relationship a step deeper -- investing in relationships is ESSENTIAL to our long term success.

Collaborations come naturally WHEN we have laid the groundwork and foundation of trust between us.

We Rise TOGETHER By KNOWING OTHERS DEEPLY & Lifting Others TO SUCCESS.

Consider setting a goal for yourself regarding daily investment of time and energy into building relationships. It can be as simple as -- I will take 5 minutes per day to chat with someone new and get to know them better AND allow them to get to know me better too.  

In doing this, I am TELLING YOU: miracles will emerge over time.  Invest in relationships and in time, you may see the door opens for collaborating in small ways and then, as trust grows, you may see bigger collaborations come about.  You just never know where these beautiful, trusted relationships will lead us!

It is often WHO we know that leads us to a greater amount of opportunities than how much we DO. So, GET TO KNOW PEOPLE---deeply, with your total presence, with love....build solid relationships. 

Don't build relationships with some crazy hidden agenda--hoping to EXTRACT something from someone.  Smart people can sniff out folks like you!  Take genuine interest in getting to know others, trusting that in time, doors of possibility may open for BOTH of you. Get to know people because you CARE! 

Then, in due time, beautiful opportunities may emerge! This is an ESSENTIAL element to your future, long-term success.

Any questions, thoughts or comments? I want to hear your thoughts on this one. Are you already doing it? If so - tell us how you purposefully build your network of trusted relationships. What have you seen come about because of trusted relationships you have already built?  Is this concept new for you? Are you ready to give it a try? Share your plan on how to make it a daily habit or at least a weekly one.

With love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com

Dear Change Agent: Want to be TOTALLY EFFECTIVE? Do Your Healing Work!

Yesterday I exchanged voice notes with a Change agent who is doing great things AND in deep pain.  She has suppressed and repressed her pain for years.  She pushes on, pours herself into her work --and therefore has avoided the pain.

The pain has grown so great that it is BEGGING her for her attention.  The continued struggles with her family have brought her pain RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER FACE AGAIN.

Why won't her family accept her?  How could her parent not love her?  Why was she ignored by her mother after her father passed away?  How could she have been molested--told her mom, and nobody listened?  How could she have suffered such poverty and desolation and nobody in her family helped her?

Pain, deep pain from her past.

And, guilt, she feels tremendous guilt from choices she made in her past.

Listen, the pain ain't going anywhere people!  It will first whisper, then shout, then scream at you --it will manifest throughout your life in unconscious ways UNTIL you take the time to heal.

So..............

What needs to be healed?

Big Awareness:  Healing the Pain from our past as change agents is ESSENTIAL If we want to be more fully effective.  Whether it is the rejection of a parent, sexual abuse or molestation....whether it is severe poverty, an inability to pay school fees, never having gotten to finish your college education,  physical abuse or mental and verbal abuse ---PAIN from our past and EMOTIONS that need to be felt dwell within US until we approach them with our loving awareness and take the time to honor ourselves and heal.


It may not feel good to go into the caverns of your inner being and sit with the traumas of the past.

But....

If you want to be clean inside, have space for more energy, joy, inner freedom and creativity, you might as well take the time to HEAL.  If you want to THRIVE as a change agent, healing your past is NOT optional.  It is a beautiful necessity.  It is also a deeply rich opportunity.

There may be intense emotions that emerge.  The emotions may feel like they could overcome you.  But, they can't and won't.  Emotional storms come and move through us -- like an intense thunderstorm that moves through.  Then, once done, the release of all the emotions brings fresh air and new energy.

If you need help with this, I am a chat away.  Or, find local support from someone you trust.

NOW is the time to heal.  Guess what, it really isn't optional.  You will either heal and become free.  Or, you will let the underlying pain linger and it will constantly drain your energy (whether you realize it or not) AND cause Dis-EASE in your body, mind and spirit.

I love you.  I have had to do this for myself.  I suffered from mental, emotional, verbal and eventually physical abuse as a child.  Someone very close to me threatened to kill me on my 16th birthday.  I was devastated, crushed, deeply hurt and in crisis for many years.  Yet, I kept crying out to God as my Father to help me and heal me.  And, with time, I have found a way through my pain AND gained incredibly valuable lessons from all I experienced.  I know what it is to cry alone in my bed and night...sobbing....I know what it is to wear a smile but feel like I am about to break into a million pieces.

I have taken the time to heal.  I have SO MUCH LOVE for people because of all I have gone through.  I am a stronger, better person for because of the abuse I experienced.  I am undaunted by difficulty because of my life experiences.  I see how these SACRED WOUNDS were perfect for my journey--they have made me into the most powerful, compassionate version of myself.  I am a HEALING change agent...the more I heal, the more I am able to joyfully share my story with the world so that others can heal and grow too!

 I know it doesn't feel fun but anything worth doing is a bit of work.  NOW -- I AM VERY FREE INSIDE!  And, it is SO worth doing the inner work.

Here are a few KEY CHOICES to make:

1.  Ask yourself:  How can I offer myself increased Self-Compassion as I move through this healing process?  There is no need to abuse yourself inside or feel bad for what you experienced.  You can begin to reclaim massive energy if you replace self-judgment with self-love and self-compassion.  As you go through the healing process, please be kind and gentle to yourself.  What happened is not your fault!  It is just an experience--and you did your best at the time to survive it.

2.  Ask yourself:  How can I slowly, gently, begin to reclaim these shattered parts of myself?  Realize healing is a process of reclaiming your inner power.  You will be regaining parts of yourself that have been shattered and scattered.  One piece at a time, you will look kindly and graciously on the pain and bring into your being the DEEP TRUTH that emerges from the pain.

3.  Ask yourself:  How can I offer myself self-forgiveness?  You did your best all along the way.  Your pain may have overcome you and you may have made choices you regret.  Forgive yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  Release the past and learn the lessons.  Use the wisdom as you move forward to help others.

I am a chat or an email away....
Get to it friends.  Start healing!  Putting some healing time now will yield a LIFE-TIME of future freedom within.

I love you through and through,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com