A few months after baby Maggie arrived, my world crashed around me. I was told by the best doctors in Philadelphia: Your daughter might not walk, she might not talk, we have no idea why she is so floppy and weak.
News like this turned my world upside down. Mild suffering turned to a major breakdown. I could no longer find solace in outer success. I lost any desire to get to the next rung of the success ladder. I had nowhere to turn for answers.
Yet, a whisper came from deep within guiding me to sit in silence. I had heard about meditation and I had known for several years it was something I was to give a try. But, I'd gotten busy with my quest for creating the good life and ignored the whisper.
Now, in my deepest pain, I had to find answers. I had to try something to ease my desperation.
I surrendered. On my lunch hour at my corporate job, I'd close the door to my office. I'd sit and breathe deeply as long as I could. At first, a minute in Silence seemed like an eternity. But, I would just keep redirecting my attention back to my breath.
Day after day, I kept at it. I sat opening to peace, seeking to hear new answers from God. With time and persistence, the space between the fearful thoughts and self-criticism grew. And in those spaces a new-found experience emerged: PEACE. I experienced a deep peace that made no sense in human terms. As I kept developing my "silence" muscles, a rich calm would envelop my entire being.
I started to experience the peace that passes understanding that I'd been taught as a child--but in a totally new way. Growing up in church I'd been taught to pray. I was good at talking to God and I had learned to turn to God all throughout the day. But for some reason the church had never taught me to sit in Silence and just listen.
Be Still. KNOW. I AM GOD. That verse in the Bible had not been expounded upon. At least not in the 1000's of messages I'd sat through in chapels at my Christian school and in mid-week and Sunday services I'd attended growing up.
BE STILL. BE SILENT. STOP TRYING TO FIGURE OUT ALL THE ANSWERS. LISTEN.
Wow--I had never known the power of simply listening.
All this happened in 2002. I've spent the past 14 years practicing silence. I can't imagine life without silence. I can't imagine life without this deep peace. I can't imagine life without the remarkable answers that come to me and through me.
I can't imagine trying to figure out all the answers I need through my old ways of thinking...and thinking....and thinking...until smoke came out of my ears. That method of trying to solve all my problems by thinking them through stopped working when my world crashed around me. There were no answers to why my daughter had been born with a rare disease. No matter how hard I tried to figure out WHY this had happened, there was just no good explanation.
But, in the Silence, when I opened to hear the Divine Voice...the whispers that would come to me, from beyond me, soothed my Soul. "It is more well with you, Trish, than you yet realize. Trust the journey. This baby is here to bless you and teach you. This journey with Maggie will be better than you can imagine no matter how hard it feels to you right now. Trish, the strength you need will come in the moments you need it. You will be guided to the answers as you sit and listen. Rest your weary spirit. Open to Divine help. You needn't try to do it all on your own when there is a great cloud of witnesses walking the path of life with you. Awaken to what exists beyond what your eyes can see. There is far more to Life than what you've been told."
Sitting in silence has become my way of Being. For those of you who have read my book, followed this blog and enjoyed my social media posts, I must tell you--the words come to me, through me and beyond me. I am GIVEN what needs to be shared. And, most of what I share is simply the answers I find for my own journey as I sit in daily silence.
If there is one thing I can encourage you to do today and every day: practice stillness. Practice silence--even if it is just for a few seconds. Wherever you are, whenever you can remember, just take a few deep breaths and release the compulsion to figure it all out in your head. Open your spirit to what is beyond you and within you. There is a channel of Divine Wisdom that can emerge when we realize that our limited thinking patterns will not give us the deeper, richer, more profound answers to our life experience that we truly yearn for.
Here are a few ways I use to enter the Silence:
1. I just sit and breathe. I focus on my breath going in and out. If thoughts arise, I notice them with a smile and thank them. Then I turn back to my breath. I open patiently. I breathe quietly. I do so as long as I possibly can.
2. I have found guided meditations are a great entry point into Divine Silence. If you google: "Guided meditations", you will probably find some that allow you a way to be shown a gateway into times of Silence. Perhaps, start with shorter ones -- 5 to 10 minutes-- and then build up to longer times.
3. Create a morning ritual that includes a time of being still within. Over the years I've found that starting my day in silence creates an amazing sense of awe and wonder. Rather than turning on the TV when I wake up like I used to do before my daughter was born, I now tune into the Divine News cast that is being broadcast all the time. I sit in a special spot in my house and simply breathe for awhile. I relax my entire body, mind and spirit and I open to answers. I open my journal and I write at the top of the page, "God, what do you need me to know today?" Then I sit quietly and wait. Sometimes messages pour into me so fast that I can't keep up with writing them down. Other times nothing comes to me and I just sit quietly and take in the rich quiet moments. And sometimes--there are days when tremendous emotion wells up in me and I am guided to heal and release past pain or future worry. Tears flow out and my inner space gets cleared up for the day ahead.
I'm not an expert. I'm still learning. I just felt I should share with you some of the small steps I've taken to improve my daily existence.
Thank God my daughter Maggie arrived when she did. Her arrival changed the entire trajectory of my life. I stopped climbing a corporate ladder and instead began the journey of exploring my Higher Calling and discovering my purpose and potential. Maggie has challenges--her rare disease, Prader Willi Syndrome--is incredibly difficult for her and for our family. But, she is here for a very important purpose and I know that with God's support, she will reach her full potential and bless the World. Hey--she is already doing so, isn't she? She's the reason I finally woke up to living my True purpose and sharing these ideas with each of you.
I pray that each of us will continue to explore and open to Divine Answers in the Stillness,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com
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