Feeling Cracked? Broken? Let the Light In...The Space for Miraculous Transformation

I sat yesterday at a half-way house with a person who is quite dear to me.  He is someone who acted as a father-figure at points in my life when my own Dad had abandoned me.  He treated me to fine meals, listened to me share stories of pain, and showed me kindness and love when I was broken inside.

Tables turn.

He went from being a tremendously successful business man of millionaire status to losing absolutely everything--money, material things, health, and even his relationships with his children.  All of this came about because his deep pain led him to a destructive cycle of addiction.

Yesterday, I saw a man cracked, broken, in the void.  He had nothing.  He had nobody--all bridges had been burned and those who loved him had realized they could not save nor help him.  He had almost died last week.  Yet, as he told his story I perceived that a Divine Grace was still in play in his life.

In moments as I sat there with him, there were tears that welled up within me--compassion, deep love for this man who I could see at his core had a yearning for a breakthrough.  In the midst of this personal ruin, he spoke of still seeking God, wanting to know truth and understanding that for some reason, God had still kept him alive in spite of himself.

Will he finally turn the corner on his addiction?  I don't know. I hope so.  Yet, I know he certainly can find a way forward.

How do I know?

Rewind to ten years ago in my journey of personal awakening.

Several years into my own transformation I hit a point of deep despair.  Some of my closest relationships were falling apart.  I hit a time period where, despite all of my best efforts, my life wasn't adding up or working as I had hoped it would.

People outside my inner circle still thought I had it all together.  The outer trappings of "she's successful and doing okay" were all in place.  Those in my most intimate circle knew of the painful situations that were causing me to do another round of deep soul-searching.

I remember time periods of being so worn out from Life's difficulties that I would wrap myself in my blanket in my bed and just cry out to God for help.  "God, I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to handle this situation.  I'm so afraid.  I have no idea how to find a way forward.  I need transformation.  I want things to be different.  I'm scared.  I'm exhausted.  I'm trying so hard but it's not working out the way I wanted it to.  I need help!"

I often thought of the blanket on my bed as my personal cocoon.  My bed became the safe spot in which I could fall apart--broken, uncertain, in need of Divine Grace to move me forward.  The tears that flowed into my cocoon watered the seeds of possibility inside me.

When a caterpillar goes into a cocoon, science tells us that it becomes completely liquefied.  Remaining in the cocoon is the messy gunk of the old caterpillar along with "imaginal buds"--the seeds of the butterfly that will eventually emerge.

I felt liquefied.  I felt like the messiest soup of energy I had ever been.  But, something whispered to me, "Trish, keep going.  It's going to be okay.  There is an incredible process at work, one you don't understand.  Trust.  Your cries for help are being heard.  You will find a way to healing."

When our being is liquefied...brought to a point of a willingness to be transformed...
When we are brought away from a solid, hardened state to a more malleable form...these are the points and times when the Divine love and light of Spirit can enter in a miraculous way--if invited--to bring us into  a  brand new, fresh, more expanded, ready-to-soar version of ourselves.

Slowly but surely, I was brought to face another round of fears in my life one by one.  I lived and breathed just one moment at a time.  I learned that the future would come to fruition if I just used my little strength in the moment to keep walking forward the best I possibly could.

Why bother sharing this with all of you?  To encourage you.  To let you know that being in a broken state is often where the magic of transformation can occur.  When we finally come to the end of ourselves, to the end of all the answers we think we have, to the end of the striving to prove our value and worth to the world around us....when nothing adds up and we feel empty, stuck, and unsure of how to move forward--we enter the sacred space of miracles.

The pivotal moments in this space of miracles is when we realize we can't come up with the solutions from our small minds.   Our answers aren't working.  The breakthrough comes when we surrender and ask for Divine Grace to enter.  When we wave our little white flag in the air and say, "There must be a better way.  There must be something more.  There must be something I'm missing.  Show me.  Help me.  Bring me the miracle I need.  Help me to see Life from a new perspective."

Our requests for assistance do not go unheard.  This invitation for Divine Help is the moment when the light can come through our brokenness and begin to work in, on and through us.

I wasn't planning on sharing all of this with you today. Yet, this story emerged from my meditation.  I felt it important to share my own times of brokenness with you so you know that the light I currently share with you now is a result of allowing Divine Light to enter my own brokenness and transform me.  Divine Grace has lifted me, changed me, opened me to new horizons.  I'm in awe of this process.

Many of my coaching clients are currently sitting in the "cocoon" going through massive transformations.  Having gone through many cycles of my own cocoon times, I can sit with them and hold the space for them knowing--that they will get beyond their current set of challenges.  As they grow and trust the chrysalis process, they will eventually transform, breakthrough and take flight into a whole new, exciting stage of their lives.

If you feel tired, worn-out, stuck, at an end of yourself, be encouraged today.  This is a natural part of personal growth and development.  Rather than feeling ashamed or like something is incredibly wrong--instead, I encourage you to invite Divine Grace to assist you.  Ask to see things from a whole new perspective.  Ask to be shown a fresh way forward.   Ask.  Trust.  Open.  Surrender.  Receive the Divine help that is available to us at all times.

I'm thankful for my own "cracks".  It truly has been how the light finally got into me.  I am only able to share through this blog my personal truth...based on my set of experiences.

I pray that in some way today, your heart will be encouraged.  Beautiful vistas await for you, dear Caterpillar...be grateful for the process of liquification--for someday soon, your wings will emerge and you shall take flight!

It is more well than we realize,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com