Harness Your Power: Enjoy This Big World

Every day I go on a walk. With summer here, I forgo the gym and instead take a tour of my neighborhood. I like walking through residential areas and following a similar route because I get a sense of people's lives.

One morning this past week around 8:00 am. I noticed two ambulances parked in front a house. A police car pulled up as did several other cars. Out on the lawn was an African-American man holding his heads in his hands in shock. A white woman was on her cell phone, visibly distressed with tears rolling down her cheeks. Two doors down there were some older people gathered on the front lawn greeting a woman coming out of her car. It seemed apparent that someone had died and they were giving her the news.

I was a very quiet observer. I walked lightly as I moved through the scene trying to be respectful of the deep emotions that emanated from the group. I said a prayer for these people who were beginning the grieving process. I opened to the Spirit of Life, asking that I use each day to be a vessel of love, not wasting a moment on worry or doubt. Life moves so quickly and you just never know when it will be time to move on to the eternal realm.

As I neared the corner, I passed a huge bush. I heard, "BZZZ. BZZZZ. BZZZZ." I can't describe how loud this buzzing was! I immediately walked onto the street as I rounded the sidewalk and kept a distance from what appeared to be a huge bee's nest. It reminded me to follow my intuition and give space to people (or bees) who need it. Sometimes it is best to be an invisible walker. Just observing. Aware. Tuned in to one's surroundings.

Since I was a teenager, I have exercised almost every day -- either running (when my knees were in better shape) or taking long walks. I had the joy of traveling the world and everywhere I went, I found a way to integrate my morning routine into my daily life.

In Haiti when I was a counselor at a children's camp, I rose with the roosters, walked to a local field and ran in circles in the morning humidity until I worked up a good sweat. In Brazil, before going out to the schools to teach kids basketball (and about self-esteem) I would run around two ponds right near the house I was staying. In England, I'd go to a nearby forest and run like a free spirit through the forest, no trail, dodging trees along the way.

Last night, my husband and I had a date. After a meal of Mexican food, we took a stroll along the Schukyill river. In the fresh evening air I had memories of my walks flood into my mind. I was poignantly reminded that I love other cultures and I love walking. There are so many places to see in this beautiful World! There is so much to experience. Yet, so many people get stuck in their comfort zones, with a sense that life is boring. They get into a rut of doing the same thing every day, with the same people, in the same area.

There are so many activities to try! Have you ever painted? Created a video? Experienced yoga? Gone to the theatre or the opera? Gone for a hike or to watch birds? Visited a country you know very little about simply to open your mind and explore? There are so many places (locally and internationally) to experience. There are countless ways to spend our time and energy. So, why do we get stuck in the familiar?

Even though I've been a World explorer, I've experienced these ruts too. This week I've been reminded of the possibilities of breaking free and going back to being a kid again. My daughters will try anything and they will do it with all their energy and enthusiasm. They embrace new people like they've known them for years. I'm continually inspired by them.

This week I challenge you to notice the routines in your life. Become aware of which ones feel really supportive and helpful to you. For me, my time for physical exercise is one which I adore: it raises my energy and calms my mind.

Then, notice the routines that you are stuck in--the ones that you do habitually but always feel a sense you should change. Open to see the possibilities of using your time and energy in adventuresome ways.

Life is an adventure or a bore -- it all depends on your approach.

I sense a new chapter emerging in my life. I've been in a nesting phase since 2000. Never thought I would have lived in the area I'm in for this long. It's served an important purpose for me -- had 2 kids, got clear on my career, gained wisdom I never knew was possible. Yet, my inner yearning for adventure and exploration is calling me.

You just never know what the next year might bring!

What would you like to experience?

You have power to open and create something fantastic!

A big hug,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Observe Communication

Ever since I was a little child I have been a take-charge leader. My mom has told me (and I do remember these days as a 3 and 4 year old) that I would get all the kids in the neighborhood together, organize them and set the course for the games for the day. Pretty amusing how we are born with certain innate gifts and tendencies. But, our greatest strengths can also be our greatest challenges.

The past few years I've been practicing stepping back and allowing others to take the lead. I'm getting better at it. It feels good to follow and participate.

Even harder for me has been to not step up to lead things when nobody else is willing to do it. Usually if there is a need for someone to lead, I'd jump right on it. Now,instead, I trust that the right leader will show up at the right time so that I don't' overload myself with responsibility like I used to.

Life is learning. I'm also closely observing my communication (verbal and non-verbal) with others -- family, friends, clients and strangers. I've been reading some excellent books the past few weeks about listening so I figured I'd check myself out to see how I measure up in the listening skills area.

I'm noticing opportunities for improvement. How often do I really allow someone to fully finish what they are saying before I jump in and give my thoughts? I invite you to observe yourself -- see if you allow there to be a moment of quiet before you respond to another person. Do you really allow them to say all they need to say before offering your own thoughts?

I have also been checking out whether I am preoccupied with my own thinking while another person is talking. Am I planning my response or am I really listening to what they have to say? It's wonderful self-learning to become aware of this.

Another aspect of communication I've been monitoring is the way I say things to other. I have always been a direct person. I speak my truth freely to others. Situations I've experienced with people close to me this year showed me that I can learn more finesse and become more gentle in sharing my viewpoints. I'm working on this!

We all have room to improve our communication skills, don't we? It starts with becoming aware. It would be interesting if we could watch a video of a few days of our lives. It would be fascinating, maybe even painful, to see how we come across to others in what we say and do.

The challenge I offer to all of us this week is to observe ourselves closely. (You could even seek feedback from people around you, soliciting their observations. Beware if you do. Don't be defensive if you ask for their perspectives. The truth can be tough to take.)

At the least, take time to notice yourself in conversations with others. What are you saying? How are you saying it? Are you interrupting them mid-sentence? Do you finish their sentence assuming you know what they want to say? Are you harsh in your words and tone? Could you be more gentle and kind in sharing from your heart?

I love life. There are constant opportunities for introspection, growth and personal expansion.

I'm joining you in this challenge. Actually, I've been doing this observation constantly for the past few days. I am letting people close to me know that I'm practicing communication skills. I want to get better and better, to be able to show love more fully through what I say and what I do.

By learning better communication skills I will be more capable at developing deeper, more loving, trusting relationships. That is most certainly what I desire! Don't you?

Learning and growing with you,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Love What You Do!

I've spent quite a deal of time with Maggie and Skye this week since they are now on summer break. It's such a pleasure to have this luxury (something I now considered a necessity). As we drove to some of our favorite places (the park, the zoo, the library, the pool) I was continually reminded that not too long ago, I would never have the freedom to spend this time with them. For many years I did not have this flexibility.

Let's rewind to 2004: I was sitting in an office with a nice title, a good paycheck and feeling BORED out of my mind. To honor my employer I did my best every day. I must admit, though, that my mind often wandered to the question, "What do I REALLY want to do with my life?"

I struggled for a long time and could only answer, "I don't know." Even though I couldn't pinpoint the type of position or title I wanted to have, I began writing down the things I wanted: flexibility, more time with my kids, to feel happy every day, to have freedom to travel and work whenever and wherever I wanted...the list grew over time. This clarification process went on for over a year and then suddenly, the light bulb came on. I spent two days at a Terri Levine seminar called The Learning Spa and within the first few minutes of being there, I KNEW! Many attendees were life coaches and they began explaining their job to me. What? I could get paid to help people improve their lives and feel better about themselves???

I instantly realized coaching was for me. Not more than five minutes later the first speaker got on stage. I sat in my seat wondering, "Why am I not up there speaking?" I had done public speaking in junior high, high school, college and as a professional basketball player. I knew that I wanted to be on stage again.

At that point I already was producing my daily email list, Food For Thought (you can sign up at my website http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/ ). So, I finally concluded with my affirmative statement: I am an internationally recognized speaker, life coach and writer. Wow. I had my vision. It was finally clear.

The road forward was not always easy as I got launched but I kept taking small steps each day: printed business cards, set up a blog, a website, took coaching classes, did speaking gigs for free -- I started where I was with the resources I had and before I knew it, I had a paid speaking engagement and a paying coaching client! Those were exciting times for me and I certainly celebrated. There were often challenges and there still are many that I face. However, I LOVE what I do.

A friend commented on my Facebook site the other day, "Trish, you are really good at this." Yes, I am. I am good at it because it is what I am passionate about and it fits who I am as a person. My growing success has to do with my hunger to learn more, to help more people and to be the best ME that I can be.

If you are sitting in a boring job wondering how you can stomach another day of work, please begin to affirm this several times an hour through your day: I open to doing something I love to do for my work. Open to the possibility that there IS another option and you CAN find it! Just starting to believe that you won't be stuck doing work you tolerate (or even hate) will give you some fresh energy. Then begin to imagine waking up and feeling truly excited about the day ahead rather than dreading it! How different would that be?

I challenge you this week to spend at least 10 minutes each day thinking about what you would really love to do. If you already have a job you enjoy, then spend the time dreaming about personal endeavors that get your juices flowing -- is there a book waiting to emerge from your soul? Are you longing to travel to every country on the Globe by age 55? Do you want to fly in a hot air balloon? Let your heart open and allow any suppressed desires to come up for exploration.

When you do what you love and love what you do, life begins to feel much like heaven. Yes, there are still difficulties, road bumps and detours in life, but you have a lighter spirit and more energy to deal with them.

What would you really, really, really love to do? How do you really want to feel about life? Who do you desire to be? Some wonderful questions to ponder this week!

If you need any support in answering these questions, please email me. In my work, I help people get clear on what they truly want in life and then give them the support they need in moving one baby step at a time towards it.

Loving life,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Learn From Intense Reactions

I had a classic situation of "getting a button pushed" on Easter Sunday. Someone close to me said something and I found myself becoming defensive. I watched myself as this inner reaction was happening. I could sense an escalation so I walked away, took some deep breaths and gave myself some space.

I looked closely at what was said. I knew it wasn't true but I still felt a deep need to defend myself. Why was I being so defensive? I waited for an answer. Then, I saw something going on beneath the surface.

I had a very sensitive spot inside myself. I felt that I had been putting others before myself and this person was accusing me of making myself a priority and pushing others aside. What! How could they think this way!

I tried to understand why this was getting to me and I realized it was because I was putting my needs aside too much to please others. I was "sacrificing" my needs and wants for others. Because of this I had built up some anger and resentment that got activated when this learning partner accused me of putting myself before other people.

What wonderful clarification comes when we find ourselves getting worked up! I actually have grown to celebrate these discoveries. Rather than looking at the other person as being "wrong," I instead turn within and look at why I am feeling so strongly about what has been said or done. As I do this, I always discover meaningful insights to help me grow.

Here is what I gained from the tough moment: if I am going to help others and accommodate the schedules of other people, I should do so because I want to not because I feel I have to do so. I noticed my old pattern that I have of bottling up the way I really feel to keep peace. If I had been expressing the way I felt all along, I wouldn't have been on the verge of a major eruption!

I love my patterns. I know them well. Yet, they still sometimes find subvert ways of staying in operation. What gives me great joy is that these patterns always do get exposed and brought to my attention so I can take another look and see new opportunities for shifting my thinking and behavior.

Watch when you feel someone has "pushed your buttons." Notice intense emotions like anger, disappointment, frustration, guilt or shame. These emotions are clues that point you to more personal learning.

I trust you will enjoy this week, even the moments that feel stressful. There is beauty even in stress!

To your peace and well-being,

Your Learning Partner,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Speak From the Heart

This was a busy week for me but a very rich one. I want to share two personal highlights with you to remind you of the simplicity and power of speaking from your heart.

The first: on Thursday I spent the day with 40 other volunteers from The Book Bank Foundation (http://www.thebbf.org/). We loaded a bus in Queens, NY at 10 a.m. and spent the next 12 hours at 4 homeless shelters throughout the city. At each shelter we brought the residents clothes, books, toys, toiletries and a short, inspirational program. Spending time with people who are in such difficult circumstances put things in perspective -- it is easy to complain or think that we don't have enough in our lives...but if you have a home, you really are blessed beyond measure.

We also brought Santa to the shelters. The children all got to take pictures with Santa. The smiles were big and it was great to see the kids excited to see this familiar face.

This year we were blessed to have all the volunteers travel together on a large bus. Throughout the day as we traveled between shelters, we took the time introducing ourselves and sharing our feelings about the experience. We created an environment where people could be vulnerable and share as freely as they wanted about their lives. There were people from all walks of life -- from refugees to former prison inmates to women from a local church.

It was interesting to observe the comfort level each person had with getting up in front of the group to tell about themselves. Some were very shy and hesitant. Yet, with a little coaxing, almost every person stood up to share.

I was reminded that the only thing you need to do when you speak in front of others is to share from your heart. When you do, no matter what words you come up with, people feel your authenticity and are deeply touched by your experience. I found myself moved by each volunteer's experience and personal story. I give each of them a big thanks for their willingness to share, even though many felt an initial hesitation.

The second highlight: Early in the week I had the privilege to spend time with Nicole Brewer, digital journalist for CBS3.com. Nicole did a piece on the daily Food For Thought list that I write. The interview was relaxed and spending time with Nicole was a blessing. I went into the interview excited and ready to share. It was fun to share the story of how Food For Thought came about since it has such a dear place in my heart.

When we simply tell our story with enthusiasm and love, people can sense our authenticity. If you haven't already, please check out the interview: http://cbs3.com/brewer/Patricia.Omoqui.inspirational.2.888924.html . I was reminded through this interview that the only thing I have to do is BE ME. All I need to ever do in life is to authentically share my experience.

Take every opportunity you can this week to speak from your heart. Get out of your comfort zone a bit as you interact with family and friends. Share your feelings. Give people a sense of where you are in your life experience and what you are learning. Being honest about our life experiences is a means of sharing our love.

Written from my heart,

Patricia Omoqui

www.patriciaomoqui.com