Harness Your Power: End the War With Yourself!

When I began studying my thoughts several years ago I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D to see the amount of self-criticism, self-doubt, guilt and yes, even self-hatred.  I was my own worst enemy and the harshest task-master I could be.

No matter how hard I worked, how well I did, how successful I became -- I STILL didn't think I measured up.  Here's how the inner thoughts went:

  "I'm not good enough. I should be doing better and geting more done in a day.  I'm not a good wife, mom or manager.  I should be further on my career path than I am.  Why can't I keep my house cleaner and cook better? Look at what my Princeton classmates are doing already in their careers, I need to catch up to where they are. "

I discovered that I was draining tremendous energy with constant self-loathing. 

I spent a few years being aware of these thoughts and working to consciously change my thinking.  The work is paying off.  I have grown in self-compassion and self-understanding.  I have gained energy and felt physically and emotionally better as I improved my thoughts about myself.  I am more focused on finding the good in myself and the good in others.

But, there are still subtle patterns that emerge.  There is still self-criticism happening.  I have learned to just observe the thoughts rather than buy into them.  Last week I observed myself thinking, "Trish, you aren't getting enough done. . . you should work more, be more, have more and do more . . ."  I watched this with interest.  I had to chuckle!  How could it be that after years of working to improve my thinking that there is still more work to do?

Well, there is.  There are many  layers to the onion of mental programming that I am working to re-program.  And, I am willing to work on it because I see that negative views of myself keep me from being as empowered and energetic as I desire to be. 

Why put up with any thoughts that cause inner conflict and suffering?  I choose to keep growing.  I want excellence in my thinking so that excellence spreads through every tiny bit of my life. 

How are you doing with your thoughts about yourself?  Tune in this week.  Observe your self-talk closely.  Is there opportunity for improvement?  For being more loving and gracious to yourself?  Write down what you find on paper so that you can see your thinking in black and white. 

You may discover, as I continually do, that life can feel better when I am nice to myself.

Imagine that!  What if we were all nicer to ourselves?  I have a feeling that the world might become a more peaceful place if we ended the war with ourselves.

Here are some gentler thoughts (affirmations) to practice throughout the week ahead:

I open to loving myself more each day.  I offer my best each day.

I give myself credit for all I do.  I am growing and learning.

I am an amazing creation of God.

I am willing to be gracious to myself and others. 

I release all need to compare myself with others.  Instead, I walk my unique path.

I am empowered to live my full potential.

With great courage and honesty,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Transform Self-Doubt

You walk into a room.  You start to think, "Do I fit in here?  My clothes aren't as nice as hers.  My handbag and shoes are last season.  I wonder if they think I'm fat.  I feel so out of place here."

You put on your smile and start interacting with the other guests.  The voice in your head keeps chattering, "This person seems so accomplished.  They seems important and well-connected.  I don't measure up.  I wonder what they think of me.  Oh no.  What I said didn't make any sense.  Why can't I do better at having these conversations?"

Self-critical thinking can sabotage us.  It keeps us from being relaxed and at ease.   It hinders us from enjoying each moment of life.  It gets in the way of a bold, confident approach to conversations. 

I know about this kind of thinking because I have moments of it myself.  I've studied my own self-critical thought patterns for several years now.  As I observed my mind closely, I saw that I was my own worst enemy.  I was harder on myself than anybody else.  In fact, I'd never say to others the type of harsh judgmental words I would say to myself.  I've learned that this type of thinking need not control me.

When my mind starts down these negative paths, I stop.  I take a few deep breaths.  I then refocus my mind on the wonderful, unique aspects of who I am:  "I am a woman full of courage and love.  I have gifts and talents, unique ones.  I embrace and love myself for who I am. I stand tall and confident.  I love learning and growing.  I relax and choose to focus my mind on the good in myself and in others.  I am here on Earth for a reason."

That new thinking energizes me.  It ignites my inner light.  It clears away the clouds of comparison with others so I can really listen to another person when I am having a conversation.  I become more effective when I love and affirm myself.

This week I offer you a challenge.  Take a day and observe your mind.  Pay particular attention to the self-talk you have.  What do you say about yourself?  Are you critical?  Write down any negative or judgmental things you have thought about yourself.  Become aware of how often you "beat yourself up" in your mind. 

Now, take your list of thoughts and transform them one by one.  Consider the question, "What good can I see in myself?  What gifts do I have to offer?  What are all the great things about myself?"  Write down as many empowered, positive statements as you can.  If you can't think of any, seek some help from a trusted, loving friend. 

We are each amazing people.
We become more remarkable as we honor ourselves in our thoughts.

Seeing the best in me and seeing the best in you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Power of Self-Talk

This morning I will be speaking locally at a Mother's Day breakfast.  I am looking forward to sharing insights with the mom's on the importance of self-talk.

We are typically our own harshest critics.  About 7 years ago I discovered that my thoughts about myself were harsh, guilt-ridden and extremely judgmental -- "I'm not a good enough mom or wife.  I should do better.  I don't measure up.  I can't keep up with others.  What if I don't give my kids what they need?  I am too fat.  I am not pretty enough.  I should be working harder, longer and doing more...."  On and on and on the self-talk went. 

From the outside people thought I had it altogether.  But on the inside I was beating myself up constantly. 
I was my own worst enemy. 

As I began to study my mind I realized that beating myself up was only one possible approach.  In fact, I began to see that I'd never talk that way to other people, so why would I be doing this to myself?

I began to review this disempowered self-talk and revise it.  Here is what I came up with to replace the old thinking:  "I am a good wife and mom.  I do my best every day.  What gets done today gets done.  The rest can wait until tomorrow.  I love myself and honor myself for trying so hard.  I am a beautiful person inside and out."

With this change in self-talk I began to feel better.  And, I began to find proof of all the ways in which I was a good wife and mom.  The better I felt inside, the more energy I had.  The more energy I had, the better I became.

How is your self-talk?  Take a close look this week.  Begin to write down any negative, disempowered thinking that haunts you.  Write the thoughts down and study the impact they have on your life -- if you changed this thinking, how different would your life feel?

You can do it!
If you need support, I'm only an email away :)

With all my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

I have plenty of free positive affirmations at my website...check them out :)
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/freeresources-affirmations.html