I am practicing something these days that I wanted to share with you. When someone is disagreeable, mean, outrageous or nasty towards me, I am practicing silence. I simply watch the scene playing out before me. In difficult encounters it is much better for me to observe the scenario as an outsider peeking in rather than as a person taking the offense in a personal way and joining the drama.
When I don't allow my "buttons" to get pushed, I can calmly look into the eyes of the other person and see their inner light. Yes, the beautiful glow is there even when a person is in an angry rage, throwing a fit or a temper tantrum.
In fact, when I am watching I feel deep compassion for the individual. I realize now that they are in deep pain or fear to be acting in this way towards me or someone close to me.
I've made so much progress. I used to be "Miss Defensive." I would take too many comments each day as a personal offense. This would drain my energy. In needing to show myself "right" I would defend (or should I say attack) in return. As Byron Katie (www.thework.com ) says, "Defense is the first act of war." I would engage in far too much verbal combat with others.
The more I began to identify and heal the inner wounds I had, the more I realized that what people were saying was not personal to me. In fact, they were projecting onto me what they were experiencing inside themselves. What a revelation!
The challenge I offer you this week is to do your best to be silent in situations where you would normally get into a nasty exchange of words. Instead, listen and watch. If you can keep silent for just a few moments, you might even be able to take a peek into the eyes of the person who is talking (or yelling) at you. Look closely. See the light. Focus on the light. What good can you find in them even in that moment?
Do your best to not defend. Instead, just listen quietly. When they are done their verbal tirade, (yes, at some point they will have to stop talking), you can just say, "Thank you for telling me how you feel. I will consider what you said." That's it. No defense needed.
If this seems like a stretch for you, then visualize yourself doing this. The more you practice inside your mind, the more likely you will be able to do this in the heat of the moment.
Let's increase peace in our lives this week!
Patricia Omoqui
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