I want to share a quick insight to help you in your week: We CAN'T control other people. Have you noticed? People do whatever they want to do...and often, it is not what WE want them to do, is it?
Notice this week how much stress and drama you create when you try to make someone do something that they really don't want to do. Yes, we can make suggestions and offer ideas and opinions to others. Then, we need to let go. We need to allow others to follow the path that they want for their life journey. Their life is up to them and they are the only ones responsible for their experience.
Too often we think we know what is best for another person. When they don't do things our way, we get angry and disgruntled. We feel the need to lecture and push them to move in a new direction.
What if we were to trust each person to their own journey?
I've found that as I let people make their own choices, they actually do fairly well. I make suggestions and lovingly share my perspectives, but then I believe that they will do whatever is best for them (even if I would never make the same choices.)
It is a relief to stop trying to control other people. I find then when I don't focus my attention on controlling others, I have plenty of energy to focus on me. I need this energy so that I can be my best.
I'm also learning that no matter what other's decide to do (even the people most intimate with me), I can always choose to be happy and empowered. I'm never stuck in any situation. I am always guided as to a way forward. More and more I am coming to realize that I don't NEED others in my life...I enjoy having people in my life and I love interacting with others and sharing love. However, I am whole in and of myself. The less needy I feel, the more I can give others the space they need to be themselves.
I have also realized that decisions that other people make are about THEM not about me. So, if someone rejects me, says something hurtful or makes a choice that could seemingly hurt me, I realize that they can decide whatever they want. My power lies in choosing how I respond to each moment.
Just for this week tune into how often you try to control others (your children, your spouse, your friends, your lover). Watch how this drains you and causes you to worry. Open to seeing and approaching your relationships with fresh eyes.
The bird in the cage is not free. When we open the door and allow the bird to do whatever it wants, we will know if it wants to be with us if it comes back freely.
All my love,
Here to support you,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/
Notice this week how much stress and drama you create when you try to make someone do something that they really don't want to do. Yes, we can make suggestions and offer ideas and opinions to others. Then, we need to let go. We need to allow others to follow the path that they want for their life journey. Their life is up to them and they are the only ones responsible for their experience.
Too often we think we know what is best for another person. When they don't do things our way, we get angry and disgruntled. We feel the need to lecture and push them to move in a new direction.
What if we were to trust each person to their own journey?
I've found that as I let people make their own choices, they actually do fairly well. I make suggestions and lovingly share my perspectives, but then I believe that they will do whatever is best for them (even if I would never make the same choices.)
It is a relief to stop trying to control other people. I find then when I don't focus my attention on controlling others, I have plenty of energy to focus on me. I need this energy so that I can be my best.
I'm also learning that no matter what other's decide to do (even the people most intimate with me), I can always choose to be happy and empowered. I'm never stuck in any situation. I am always guided as to a way forward. More and more I am coming to realize that I don't NEED others in my life...I enjoy having people in my life and I love interacting with others and sharing love. However, I am whole in and of myself. The less needy I feel, the more I can give others the space they need to be themselves.
I have also realized that decisions that other people make are about THEM not about me. So, if someone rejects me, says something hurtful or makes a choice that could seemingly hurt me, I realize that they can decide whatever they want. My power lies in choosing how I respond to each moment.
Just for this week tune into how often you try to control others (your children, your spouse, your friends, your lover). Watch how this drains you and causes you to worry. Open to seeing and approaching your relationships with fresh eyes.
The bird in the cage is not free. When we open the door and allow the bird to do whatever it wants, we will know if it wants to be with us if it comes back freely.
All my love,
Here to support you,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/
Yes so very true. Guidance and suggestions are wonderful, but forcing and manipulating are not healthy for anyone involved.
ReplyDeleteYes, very true. I would never want anyone to force me to do something...I would want their trust.
ReplyDeletei would like some further advice on how to STOP trying to control every situatuion. I always fear the worst will happen.
ReplyDeleteThank you this is exactly what i needed to hear right now.
ReplyDeleteWhat if you give advice they don't follow it and it turns out you were right? I am sure i also need to just let it go as their lesson learned -- however hard to do! Thanks so much for the thought!!
ReplyDeleteWhat if they are a drug-addict that lives with you? And they haven't changed for 5 years?
ReplyDeleteI have one son and love him so much but he is struggling with this right now and yet the hardest thing for me to do is let HIM go and choose HIS path on HIS journey knowing he is suffering from not being able to discern between healthy and unhealthy.
ReplyDeleteIf they are a drug-addict and live with you, perhaps it is time to set them free so that you are not enabling them...but only you can know what is best given the specific dynamics of your situation. Maybe a drug-addiction counselor could offer you some insight into the best way forward. Addicition is a very challenging thing...and you certainly can't win the battle for the person...my payers are with you.
ReplyDelete