Freedom

I am clearing it all out.  Yes, the junk and even some of the good things.  You know that stuff that sits in your environment taking up space.  You bought it for some reason but now you can't remember why.  I am in the process of simplifying my life in every way.  I am looking through my house.  Every nook, every inch is being combed and re-evaluated.  I am keeping those things that truly bring my life enrichment and meaning.  The other things, I am letting go.

It is symbolic, I believe.  This process is a cleansing as much within me as it is outside of me.  The old energy, the remaining healing needing to be done, the pockets of anger and even shame--I am scrubbing my spirit as I do this outer ritual of realignment.

I feel as if burdens are being lifted and new energy is being found.  I sense that my vision is getting clearer as I move all blocks out of my spaces.  I am ready for new.  I am clearly stating to God that I AM READY.  I am willing to do my part, to take every step humanly possible in this moment and the next so that I am fully prepared for the next chapter.

How can the new enter if I have not been willing to clear the way for it?

That's what I have been up to.  How about you?  Ready for more freedom--both the inner and outer kind?  Perhaps it is time to let go of the inner and outer "stuff" that holds you back.  Start by noticing.  Yes, sit and just be in your spaces.  Look closely.  Become aware of what might be stuck.  Then, be willing to open to moving that which no longer serves you out of your life.  When you are truly ready, you will take the steps to do so.

Experiencing  more freedom,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

From Inadequate to Worthy

I know a person, one who feels inadequate.  She longs for personal change.  She is tired of her boring job.  She is hungry for new friendships.  She desires to live in a fun city.  She wants to feel happy, delighted about life.  But, just as she opens the door to her dreams, she shuts them.  She will not let herself move forward because she believes that she is not good enough, not smart enough, not capable of having what she wants.

As I hear her speak, I am astounded.  My view of her is quite different.  I see her as creative, spunky, full of possibility.  She is a beautiful woman.  She has talent.  She has the power to do what she wants in life.  But, she does not yet see or embrace this about herself.

As a friend and coach, I watch.  I encourage.  I wait.  I know that one day she will wake up to the truth of herself.  She is WORTHY.  She deserves to enjoy her life, to feel peaceful, to believe in and love herself.  I look forward to that day. 

I know a day can come when more of us understand our own potential, step into our power and go for our dreams.  Too many of us sit and suffer, wishing...waiting...hoping change will come.  And, all that hinders us is self-doubt, fear, low self-esteem.  The change we long for needs to happen inside--we must transform our thoughts of "not good enough" to "fully equipped and able."

I encourage you this week.  Open your heart.  Let the genie of your dreams begin to come out of the bottle.  Write them down.  Draw them.  Add vivid colors and textures to your desires.  Get them from your heart onto a piece of paper.  Then ask, "What is that one next small step I could take to move forward?"  You do not need to know the whole path.  You just need the next step.  Take that step.  It leads to the next step, and the next step and the next. ..and before you know it, you are on your way down the path of a vibrant, enriching and joyful life.

You can do it.
If you need support, let me know.

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Beyond Shame to Seeing Commonality



Just before hiting the runway.  Empowered.

 I had a fantastic time last week at the Women Empowering Women event in Philadelphia.  It was a tremendous day of sisterhood, connection, and apprecation of what we as women share in common.

In the morning, there was an intimate discussion forum.  More than twenty women from many different walks of life (CEO, Psychiatrist, Lawyer, Doctor, Life Coach, recovering drug addicts, formerly homeless) spent three hours talking.  Powerful, transformative moments occured as woman after woman shared stories of challenges and triumphs. 

It is clear to me that giving voice to our stories opens us to feeling empowered, to connecting with others and to seeing that WE ARE NOT ALONE.  The stories shared during the forum had common themes of low self-esteem, body image struggles, rape, sexual abuse, betrayal, abandonment by parents and addictions.  Regardless of titles, economic status or skin color, there was COMMONALITY.  Each woman has her own story--a dynamic one of personal growth. 

I cried. I laughed.  I hugged.  I felt it all very deeply.  I shared my own story from childhood, one I hadn't shared in many years.  It felt good to express what was there, shed a few tears and heal more deeply.

We are more similar than different.  Don't allow your pain to cause you to hide.  You are not alone. Your pain may come in the form of your unique story, but each human being has experienced some form of pain. 

Find someone you trust to confide in.  Voice what needs to be said.  Get it out in the open in a safe place so that you can be heard.  By telling it aloud you open the door to more freedom and peace than you may have right now.  If you aren't ready to say it to another person, take time to journal about it.  Find an outlet for self-expression that allows you to process the experience and move forward.

Consider these words, "If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent" (Anonymous Professor).

Your pain turns into beautiful colors woven into the fabric of your remarkable being.
Don't be ashamed, rather, become empowered.  Be proud of who you are!
 
With my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
 
P.S. I also got to have fun as a model in the fashion show.  Enjoy the pictures :)



Getting Make-Up - how glamorous !



Striking a pose.



Strutting on the runway....too fun!



Sisterhood, Beautiful Women Connected



Harness Your Power: Allow Your Dreams to Mature!

Last night I attended a family barbecue.  One of my cousins is pregnant, in her seventh month.  She is UNCOMFORTABLE!  Sleeping is difficult, walking is challenging--she is READY for this baby to be delivered.  Yet, she does NOT want the baby to come early.  Why?  Because in the last few months of the pregnancy, the baby develops and grows in important ways.  The entire nine months is crucial for the baby to be born vibrant and healthy. 

So, she patiently waits day by day until the baby is ready to emerge.

It is the same with our dreams.  Our dreams need development.  The ideas we have at the outset of our journey must go through the entire process of developing and maturing.  If born to early, they may not survive.  That is why we must trust the process of our personal and professional growth.

 Each stage, each step, each moment is essential on our path of progress. 

As an entrpreneur and visionary, I have BIG dreams and visions for life.  I've had them for years now.  I wanted them all to materialize rapidly.  But, I've found that I can't skip steps in my self development or the maturity of my vision.  I'm glad that it takes as long as it does.  I'm more prepared than ever for new phases of living my life vision AND my vision gets clearer and fuller by the day.

I have clients who are entrpreneurial and they have incredible plans for business and life pursuits.   Too often, they seem in a rush.  They want it to happen NOW.  In pushing for results, they often miss crucial opportunities to fully embrace and develop themselves in the stage they are in.  I encourage them to be patient, persistent and persevere. 

They will realize their potential and actualize their visions--but it happens over a period of time.

Don't be in too much of a rush o!  Be diligent today, where you are.  Take the key next steps with the resources you have right now.  If you stay focused on a consistent basis, you will achieve things you never imagined you could.  Just because you don't see the results yet, doesn't mean you should give up.  You are developing as a person.  You are learning important life and business lessons to help you get to the next stage of your plan. 

Open to the entire experience.  It is rich if you do.

Savoring the tiny steps of progress with you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: On Love, Mothers and Life

My lovely daughters Maggie and Skye after making chocolate cupcakes.

Mother's day was wonderful.  My girls and I sure celebrated--and we did so on their terms (wink).  Saturday evening Skye (age 6) said to me, let's celebrate Mother's day by having a sleep out on the living room floor.  I suggested we'd be more comfortable if we slept in our beds, but she was SURE this was the best way to have fun.  So, I relented. 

We got out the blankets, extra pillows and attempted to be as cozy as possible on the floor.  I slept on the couch and woke up with a wonderful back ache.  I smiled when I felt the ache because I knew my little girls were happy and we had made a special memory.

In the morning we had breakfast with my mom Gayle.  She is an angel.  I don't say that lightly or from a biased perspective.  Everyone who knows my mom is amazed at how giving, kind, peace-filled and wise she is.  As for me, I feel as if I got the best mom on the planet.  Not only did she offer me a mother's love and acceptance while growing up, she is also the editor of my articles and my book AND one of the best mentors I have ever found. 

I am blessed.  Counting my blessings is the best way for me to remember the richness of the gifts in my life.  I have a devoted husband, a supportive extended family, two little girls who teach me to play more and I do work that I love. . . those are the highlights on my list right now.

I keep being reminded that it is the simple, priceless things that are the most wonderful.  A Mother's Day card from my child with a handwritten note is more of a treasure than an expensive gift any day.

I am mellow today, just pondering some of the deeper questions of life and its purpose.  So, perhaps the best idea for the week ahead is to stay fully focused in gratitude for every blessing tiny to gigantic.  Don't miss out on any of it.   Write a list right now!

Cherish the moment and treasure the ones you love.

That's my focus,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Life Unfolds in Divine Time

The Great Hearted Dr. Femi Olaleye

I found myself with a big grin today.  Let me tell you why.

About six months ago, I came up with an idea to write a profile piece for the cover of Vanguard Newspaper's Allure Magazine.  The gentleman's name for the profile is Dr. Femi Olaleye.  He is an accomplished doctor with a vision to provide low-cost, quality healthcare to those in Lagos, Nigeria, who simply can't afford it. 

I followed the process I always use.  The first step was to send Dr. Femi the interview questions.   Step two was for him to respond which he did in a very short time period.  The next step was for me to take his responses and boil them down to the proper number of words for a profile piece.  I started working on it and met with my editor (my distinguised, English Professor mother) several times. 

Then, something strange happened.  No matter how hard we tried to get this piece finished, we just couldn't.  A normally easy process for us became extremely tedious and difficult.  We'd try to meet and then an emergency would happen.  Or, we'd work on the document and the changes we'd make would be lost due to computer troubles.

I felt pressure to get the piece done.  I kept stating to my mom, "We have to finish this piece.  I'm embarassed at how long this is taking."

I kept Dr. Femi informed that we still had him in mind and we were gradually progressing with his piece.  This went on for over four months. 

My mom and I were both perplexed.  It made no sense that we were struggling so much.

FINALLY, about five weeks ago, the piece was fully edited and submitted to Allure.  Normally a piece like this prints fairly quickly.  This time it didn't.  Dr. Femi asked me, "When will this piece be featured?"  I asked the editor and got the response, "I'll let you know when we decide to print it."

We waited.  We waited some more.  We continued to wait.  I decided to stop asking and just let it print whenever it printed.

Today, I went online to look at the Vanguard Allure.  Guess what (drum roll please)?  Dr. Femi Olaleye was at last on the cover of Allure Magazine!  But the coolest part about it is TODAY IS HIS WEDDING DAY!

That is why I smiled and laughed.  God has a perfect timing.  It all made sense.  The piece was supposed to print today.  What better wedding gift could a man get than to have his work featured on a national magazine cover ON his wedding party day?

Life is fascinating.  Maybe, just maybe, it is much easier than we think.  What if all we have to do is OUR part?  What if we simply need to take the next step and the next and the next and leave the timing of the "BREAKTHROUGH" to God?

I feel certain that's the case.  This is one story of a multitude that I could share with you that has led me to conclude that God's timing is best and is often full of irony and humor.

So, I say, "Congratulations, Dr. Femi Olaleye to you and your beautiful bride."  She is lucky to have a man like you who has a heart of gold.  And you, Dr. Femi are lucky to have a woman such as her.  I pray that the blessings of God rain down upon your lives, flooding you with all good things (maybe even some amazing children).

Please take some time to read this profile piece and be inspired.  His work is making a major impact on the lives of many Nigerians.  If you feel so inclined, do reach out to him and offer financial support to further his cause.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/05/life-is-more-than-designer-clothes-and-flashy-cars-dr-femi-olaleye/

Trust God's perfect time.  Relax your spirit and KNOW that your life is unfolding at the perfect pace, in the perfect way.

Speaking of perfect, my column this week in Vanguard is titled Perfect "Imperfections."  Yes, it might be an encouragement to read this too.  Your seeming inadequacies may be doing more good than you realize.  Read this and you'll understand why:  http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/05/perfect-%e2%80%9cimperfections%e2%80%9d/ .

Have a great week ahead!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

Harness Your Power: End the War With Yourself!

When I began studying my thoughts several years ago I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D to see the amount of self-criticism, self-doubt, guilt and yes, even self-hatred.  I was my own worst enemy and the harshest task-master I could be.

No matter how hard I worked, how well I did, how successful I became -- I STILL didn't think I measured up.  Here's how the inner thoughts went:

  "I'm not good enough. I should be doing better and geting more done in a day.  I'm not a good wife, mom or manager.  I should be further on my career path than I am.  Why can't I keep my house cleaner and cook better? Look at what my Princeton classmates are doing already in their careers, I need to catch up to where they are. "

I discovered that I was draining tremendous energy with constant self-loathing. 

I spent a few years being aware of these thoughts and working to consciously change my thinking.  The work is paying off.  I have grown in self-compassion and self-understanding.  I have gained energy and felt physically and emotionally better as I improved my thoughts about myself.  I am more focused on finding the good in myself and the good in others.

But, there are still subtle patterns that emerge.  There is still self-criticism happening.  I have learned to just observe the thoughts rather than buy into them.  Last week I observed myself thinking, "Trish, you aren't getting enough done. . . you should work more, be more, have more and do more . . ."  I watched this with interest.  I had to chuckle!  How could it be that after years of working to improve my thinking that there is still more work to do?

Well, there is.  There are many  layers to the onion of mental programming that I am working to re-program.  And, I am willing to work on it because I see that negative views of myself keep me from being as empowered and energetic as I desire to be. 

Why put up with any thoughts that cause inner conflict and suffering?  I choose to keep growing.  I want excellence in my thinking so that excellence spreads through every tiny bit of my life. 

How are you doing with your thoughts about yourself?  Tune in this week.  Observe your self-talk closely.  Is there opportunity for improvement?  For being more loving and gracious to yourself?  Write down what you find on paper so that you can see your thinking in black and white. 

You may discover, as I continually do, that life can feel better when I am nice to myself.

Imagine that!  What if we were all nicer to ourselves?  I have a feeling that the world might become a more peaceful place if we ended the war with ourselves.

Here are some gentler thoughts (affirmations) to practice throughout the week ahead:

I open to loving myself more each day.  I offer my best each day.

I give myself credit for all I do.  I am growing and learning.

I am an amazing creation of God.

I am willing to be gracious to myself and others. 

I release all need to compare myself with others.  Instead, I walk my unique path.

I am empowered to live my full potential.

With great courage and honesty,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/