Master Basics - Then Get Fancy

The problem today is people want to use high-skill techniques before they learn the foundational skills.  To get long-lasting success, we must not take shortcuts or jump ahead in the process of learning.

Warning:  It is ESSENTIAL to master the basics BEFORE you get too fancy.

I was thinking back to my years as a basketball player.  As a 16 year old playing my first year of basketball, the coach saw how tall I was and made me a "post player."  (For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I played close to the basket and with my back facing the basket most of the time.  Think of a player like Shaq.)

My coach taught me only ONE move my first year.  It was a simple shot.  I would pivot and shoot a short bank shot.  This worked perfectly for me since I was taller than most of my opponents and I could shoot right over them and score.  Coach knew this.  If I could make this shot consistently, our team was going to score loads of points!

But I was feeling frustrated.  Players around me knew more moves!  They could do fancier moves and score points with flare. I wanted to do that.  I wanted coach to show me how to do to that too.  But he insisted that I learn only the basics and perfect this ONE type of shot before I moved forward.

So, I focused.  I shot and shot and shot.  I missed a lot of shots at first.  BUT, with repetition, I was able to use this shot and score plenty of points each game.  In fact, in my first season of ever playing the game of basketball, I mastered this shot and was on my way to becoming the league’s leading scorer.

In my next season, the coach taught me one more new move – drop step, dribble, power up to shoot. Wow! Now I had a second shot, a fancier one. I worked on that one until I could do it well and score with it.  Then I had two shots I could try out and it was exciting to have grown as a player.

At last, when I got to college, the coaches taught me some awesome moves (fancy moves with real swagga)—Up and Under, Hook to the Left, Hook to the Right--I even started shooting from the perimeter rather than just with my back to the basket.  I was prepared for this new learning because my high school coach had forced me to master the basics.  I had a solid foundation.  It allowed me to make great progress.  And, with time, I was a "flashy" player who could score with both basic moves and ones that wowed the crowd.

I am glad my first coach didn't allow me to move faster in my learning than I was ready for.  He was wise.  He knew if I became really good at the basics, I'd be able to easily grasp the exciting moves.  I didn't like how slow he was moving in teaching me, but I see now, that his approach was the right one for my overall growth as a basketball player.

Be patient as a learner.  Understand the basics and practice hard until you are sound at what you do (whether that is a sport, education, career or running your own business).  Learning takes time.  To gain a level of excellence in anything you do, you must work hard at it and remained focused.  Complete the stage of growth you are in and do your best at it because it is preparing you for your next level of performance. 

If you skip essential learning and try to bypass the next steps of your growth, you may sabotage your long-term success. 

Do not be worried you aren't growing fast enough.  Instead, follow this wise Chinese proverb:

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still."

Steady, focused, persistent, determined, dedicated, willing to practice, giving it your all, striving for excellence:  this can be your focus for the week.  It certainly is going to be mine!

Have a blessed and joyful week ahead.
I'm here to support you in your personal and professional growth.

I am only ever an email away.
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Keep Growing: Observe, Listen, Learn

I am on an interesting journey and I am having a great time. Arrived in Lagos (Nigeria) a week ago.  Headed quickly to Accra (Ghana) to speak at a conference.  Will travel next weekend to Abuja.

I love travel.  It is a stretching experience--from waiting in line for hours getting through immigration to dealing with a taxi driver who wants to charge me twice as much as a local--it is all LEARNING.

I am fascinated by life.  I am in awe of my journey.  And, I desire to keep growing every day.

My desire is to keep my eyes wide open and OBSERVE.  

"What is really going on here?"  I ask myself.  "Why are things the way they currently are?" and

"Is there a way this could get better and develop more?"

As I take my morning walk in Lagos, I notice the trash scattered on the road and wonder, "How could this be cleaned up?"  I see there are plenty of people who want to work.  I see the trash trucks sitting by the side of the road not in use.  The pieces of the puzzle all seem to be there.  I pray and know that there will be a time when it all comes together into a workable solution.

I have been purposefully quiet this past week.  I am doing my best to LISTEN.  Young and old have many experiences to share.  I ask questions to draw out this wisdom.  As I do, I smile.  I have much to gain from the perspectives and ideas others offer.  God brings me the right learning partners at the perfect time. 

Treat each conversation you have as a precious opportunity to develop yourself.  Consider these words of Coach John Wooden, "Others, too have brains.  A leader listens.  Don't act like you're listening when you're just waiting to talk.  People know when you're not hearing what they say.  Sometimes we forget that we're not the only smart person in the room." 

Your challenge this week: 

Be open to learning.  Be ready to grow.  Take off your blinders.  Look at life closely.  Be full of wonder in your day-to-day experiences.  Pray for a fresh perspective.  Be willing to see the world around you from new angles. 

Wishing you a fantastic week of personal development!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Heal those BUTTONS!

I sit here tonight writing this blog after getting rather angry-- someone just "pushed my buttons."  I didn't know I even had this BUTTON!  I certainly am aware of it now.  I am glad that I realize I have more of my own personal healing to do.

What is a button?  A button is a spot inside me or you that is sensitive and when touched by someone in our lives, causes us to react.  Often the reaction is quite strong and intense.

I often say when I speak to audiences that our buttons are quite an opportunity for self-growth.  I sit here looking at my button, my reaction and the deep beliefs I hold that caused me this inner (and outer) craziness.  Why do I over-react?  Why do I get so upset?  I am meditating on this and will be for the week ahead.

We want to blame others for our reactions -- "If HE hadn't pushed my buttons, then I wouldn't have reacted this way!  It was HIS (or HER) fault!"  I want to challenge this idea of blaming our reactions on others.

The illustration I often use is a wound on your arm.  If you have a wound on your arm and someone pours salt in it, what happens?  You would probably cry out in pain -- perhaps you would scream. 

If you DID NOT have a wound on your arm and someone pours salt on it, what would happen?  The salt would provide exfoliation for your skin and fall away.  There would be no pain. 

When we have these over-the-top reactions, it is because of what is INSIDE us, not what is outside.  If we begin to understand this then we have the opportunity for learning some incredibly beautiful lessons.

Off to heal my remaining buttons.  It seems that I find more and more.  I am laughing as I write this ...what interesting human beings we are, huh?  I have a long way to go and so much more to learn. 

I am happy for the learning.  I want to heal fully so that I can be truly peaceful, deeply loving and able to choose a response rather than give a knee-jerk reaction.

Healing with you...hope you will take stock of "your buttons" this week.

With Love,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Learn From Intense Reactions

I had a classic situation of "getting a button pushed" on Easter Sunday. Someone close to me said something and I found myself becoming defensive. I watched myself as this inner reaction was happening. I could sense an escalation so I walked away, took some deep breaths and gave myself some space.

I looked closely at what was said. I knew it wasn't true but I still felt a deep need to defend myself. Why was I being so defensive? I waited for an answer. Then, I saw something going on beneath the surface.

I had a very sensitive spot inside myself. I felt that I had been putting others before myself and this person was accusing me of making myself a priority and pushing others aside. What! How could they think this way!

I tried to understand why this was getting to me and I realized it was because I was putting my needs aside too much to please others. I was "sacrificing" my needs and wants for others. Because of this I had built up some anger and resentment that got activated when this learning partner accused me of putting myself before other people.

What wonderful clarification comes when we find ourselves getting worked up! I actually have grown to celebrate these discoveries. Rather than looking at the other person as being "wrong," I instead turn within and look at why I am feeling so strongly about what has been said or done. As I do this, I always discover meaningful insights to help me grow.

Here is what I gained from the tough moment: if I am going to help others and accommodate the schedules of other people, I should do so because I want to not because I feel I have to do so. I noticed my old pattern that I have of bottling up the way I really feel to keep peace. If I had been expressing the way I felt all along, I wouldn't have been on the verge of a major eruption!

I love my patterns. I know them well. Yet, they still sometimes find subvert ways of staying in operation. What gives me great joy is that these patterns always do get exposed and brought to my attention so I can take another look and see new opportunities for shifting my thinking and behavior.

Watch when you feel someone has "pushed your buttons." Notice intense emotions like anger, disappointment, frustration, guilt or shame. These emotions are clues that point you to more personal learning.

I trust you will enjoy this week, even the moments that feel stressful. There is beauty even in stress!

To your peace and well-being,

Your Learning Partner,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Love and Give

This has been a shocking week for me. On Thursday I received a call from my mom. She told me that my grandfather had passed away. I could hardly believe the news. Even though he was 87, he was strong, positive and a constant in my life. Saturday we had a simple but touching memorial service to celebrate his life. As people shared stories about my grandfather and talked about how he had impacted their lives, the theme became clear: he loved and accepted every person he encountered and he had a giving heart. (This picture shows my grandfather and my niece, Trinity on Christmas Eve this past year).

It's amazing to see the ripple effect that my grandfather's love had on our family. Because of him, my mom learned to be kind and truly accept people. Thus, she passed that gift on to me and taught me, through her example, that every person I encounter is important, special and worthy of love.

My grandfather was extra-special to me. After my parents divorced when I was 16, my dad was absent from my life. During those years, my grandfather played a vital role. He came to all my volleyball and basketball games. He was one of the loudest voices in the stands, "Go Trish!" I heard that throughout every game and it was so comforting and encouraging to have him cheering me on. He was there when I scored my 1,000 point at Souderton High school. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He was at the hospital soon after each of my children were born. No matter where I was traveling or what I was up to in my life, I knew my grandfather was thinking of me, supporting me and praying for me.

An amazing life. I believe life is so very simple. Our true purpose is to be love, to share love and to engage in loving acts to show others they are important to us. That's it. Very easy to do. So, why does it get so complex?

It's ironic to me that today our pastor spoke about being a generous giver. It's like the Universe continued the theme from the memorial service yesterday -- what joy comes when we are willing to give from our heart lovingly. As we do, we receive tremendous gifts in return. There is no need to be stuck in a "MINE" mentality -- guarding our possessions, striving constantly after more stuff, postponing our joy for a day when we have more.

On another note, I had the opportunity to spend some extra time with my daughter Maggie this week when we went to a doctor appointment. On my way home she said to me, "Mom, I love my life. I love our neighborhood. I love my house. I love my friends. I love my school bus. I love my family." Wow. She has never so clearly expressed her gratitude for her life. I smiled wide as I heard her words. I am SO thankful to have a 6 year old daughter who loves life. There is very little more that I can ask for than that my children be happy, grateful and full of love.

I desire to pass on to my children what my grandfather gave to me: I want them to understand that every person is an incredibly unique creation of God. I want them to learn by my example that each person deserves to feel respected, accepted and loved rather than judged.

My joy in life right now is so profound. Though my grandfather's death has brought many tears, it has also shown me how simple, loving acts can make a tremendous difference in the world.

May you be filled with inspiration to LIVE LOVE this week.

All my love for each of you.

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Follow Your Guidance Fearlessly

This week was an exciting, intense week for me. I did another taping session for the TV segments that I have on STV in Nigeria and on MindTV in Philadelphia. It was fun getting prepared and seeing everything come together. I have a wonderful group of supportive friends and teammates who helped make it possible (a big thanks to each one of them).

*Here is the link to one of the videos we just produced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y06I8D4LJwo . Please rate it and leave your comments after watching it on youtube!

What I am seeing so clearly in my life right now is that it is essential that we follow our inner guidance fearlessly if we want to create the life we long for. If you are guided to do something, take action even if it feels a bit scary or uncomfortable. That is what I've been practicing the past few years as I launched my career as a speaker, life coach and writer. I had my dream. I was unsure of how it could all come together. But, one day at a time, I took my baby steps. The cool thing is that I didn't need to figure it all out in my mind. I just had to be ready to seize the opportunities that presented themselves to me. I had to be willing to step out on faith and do things I might not have done before. As I did, things came together in miraculous ways.

This continues to happen. I'm not worried about the results anymore because the process of living, expanding and exploring this adventure of life is so enjoyable. The journey of life is not about the final destination or about the achievements. It is about allowing ourselves to live fully every step of the way. As we release our past and let go of worry about our future, we are empowered to really, truly, fully live on purpose RIGHT NOW.

Your time is now. Don't delay acting upon your guidance. Quiet your mind so you can hear the Universe guide you. When you understand your next step, don't question it. Follow through. Even if it seems like a stretch or it feels a bit scary, just do it. Learn from each step. Grow. Be willing to do your part and then see how the miracles come together. The people, resources and opportunities you need do appear at the right time. Trust the timing of the Universe...it is always for your best.

In the next few days my new video segments will be ready for viewing. I'll be releasing one each week via my daily email list.

Following My Guidance Fearlessly,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Try New Things

I am a morning person. I typically rise at 5:30 a.m. to enjoy the peace of our home so I can meditate and work on writing my weekly articles or making progress on my book. It's my favorite time of the day. Around 6:30 a.m. my youngest daughter Skye wanders down the stairs and snuggles beside me on the couch as I finish up my work. (This is a picture of my sparkling daughter).

Skye is a dynamic little girl. This week she decided she wanted to dress as a ballerina for school. She wore a pink mesh ballerina skirt over her jeans, some shiny black shoes and wore her hair in a bun to get the look she wanted. May I remind you she is only 3 1/2. A true character! (She often wears a Hannah Montana wig when we got out to run errands!)

This morning she came down and showed me that she can now snap. Last week she got really focused on figuring out how to snap her fingers. When Dad sings, he often snaps. I think she also saw her teacher doing this at school during music time. She was determined and focused on learning this new skill. After a week of practice, she has almost mastered it! Now she is so excited to show off her new skill.

This got me thinking about how fun it is to learn and try new things. Kids thrive on the excitement of expanding their skills. They are often relentless -- trying again and again until they figure it out. Some adults do this as well, but many of us get so busy in our daily lives that we often put aside our inner yearnings to learn something fresh.

I'd like to encourage you to let your desires for growth and expansion to emerge. Even if you feel you don't have time for learning, at least listen to your heart. What would you really like to learn how to do? Would learning how to cook Thai food excite you? Maybe you have always wanted to dance? Or, is it time to refresh your guitar skills? Has there been a language you have always had interest in? Whatever it is that would bring you joy, just begin to write your ideas down.

Some of my clients take the time to write down a list of "The things I'd like to do and experience by age 35 (or, 40, 50, 60, 70 etc.)." The people I've met who have done some really cool things are usually the ones that are very clear in knowing what they'd like to do. They've taken the time to think through their list. Then, they pick something from their list and begin -- whether it is saving for the trip of their dreams or signing up for a class -- they get started and find a way to fit what they love into their lives. Because they have a list, they are able to fit these things into the hours of time that open up in their schedules rather than sitting in front of the TV because they don't have anything else in mind to do.

Take what is in your heart and put it on the page. Why not write your own list this week? Let your creative juices flow. Don't put limits on the exercise --no worrying about where you'll get the money or how you'll fit it into your schedule. Just commit your dreams to paper.

Notice how you feel just thinking about these ideas! Imagine what it will be like to actually experience them.

My next learning experience is one I never would have thought of months ago. Because of the recent experiences I've had with producing TV segments to air in Nigeria and now on a local Philadelphia cable called MindTV, I've realized I want to know more about Television and broadcasting. So, I'm beginning to ask around about classes at local colleges where I can get exposed to this learning! I'm also attending a class on Thursday that is a boot camp for learning how to produce 5 minute TV segments. It feels refreshing when we take the steps to continually expand our minds!

Take the time to write your list this week! Let your heart beat fast again!

On a different note, for any of you who are feeling the darkness of life, please check out my article on Vanguard this week. I believe it will encourage your heart: http://www.vanguardngr.com/content/view/21835/82/ .

With great love for each of you,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Belief, Hope and Courage

What a momentous week this was for our country. Whether you supported Obama or McCain, it was truly amazing to watch this election unfold. We saw the seemingly impossible become possible. What allows for these types of things to happen? Three of the key elements that brings a vision to reality are belief, hope and courage.

I am challenging myself to stay focused on these words in the weeks to come. There are many visions in my heart. It is easy for me to fret and wonder how these grand ideas could become a reality. It all boils down to a moment-by-moment choice for me to make -- will I believe or will I doubt? Will I worry or will I be filled with hope? Will I give up or will I walk courageously forward into the unknown?

I can choose. I will choose. I am determined to choose -- to walk by faith, rather than by sight. I have seen miraculous changes in my life in 2008. Things that seemed impossible to me have come about. Opportunities I never could have dreamed of dropped out of thin air and landed in my lap. The miraculous is wonderful to experience. We are surrounded by miracles.

I've been taking the time to recognize my miracles no matter how big or how small. My body is healthy and strong. My daughter Maggie is doing fantastically well given the challenges she faces. Skye shows such spirit and excitement for life. My husband is supportive, caring and courageous. I appreciate every small pleasure from a cup of hot cocoa to a spontaneous hug from my daughters. I am blessed. I am so grateful for all that I have.

Could I choose fear right now? Sure, I could. I believe that suffering is totally overrated. Fear leads me into deep suffering. I know the familiar pattern all too well. To be quite honest, I am tired of fear. So, I've replaced it with belief, hope and courage.

Let's encourage one another this week to stay focused in positive, loving energy. We can do this. It is a choice. If you feel doubt creep into your heart, just stop. Take a deep breath. Then refocus. Remember that the Universe supports you in this amazingly rich journey of learning.

A big hug to each of you.

"Yes, We Can!"

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/