Create Your Dream -- Go Beyond the Fear!

For most of us, when we know what we truly want, the voice of fear begins speaking to us:

"You can't do that. You'll never be able to find success. You can't change careers because you don't have the money. What will people think of me if I make these changes? Maybe I don't have enough talent to do that. What if I fail? What will people think of me then? I'm just not sure I can reach this goal. . . ."

When the voice of fear speaks, it is easy to become paralyzed. We may even decide to abandon our dreams. If we don't abandon our dreams, we may take a step or two towards what we want to create, but then we find ourselves feeling awkward and unsure as we enter new territory in our lives. So, how do we begin to move beyond our fears?

The first step to moving beyond fear is to become aware of the fearful thoughts in your mind. Take close notice. Begin listening to the voices inside your mind -- do you sense fear in your thoughts? Do you see thoughts full of worry in your mind? Turn on your "Observer" and have it watch your thoughts on a regular basis. The Observer is going to assist you in noticing what fears might be hindering you from moving step-by-step towards your dreams.

As you observe your fears, write them down on paper. Write down the fearful thoughts that go through your mind. By putting them on paper you will be able to more objectively look at the thoughts. After you have listed your fears on paper, then sit with them -- watch the fear. Try to understand where it is coming from. Follow the fear to the underlying belief that might be causing you to feel afraid.

Yes, I have had my fair share of fears.  Here is a peek into some of the biggest fears I had before taking the leap into my career as a speaker, life coach and writer. . .

One of my biggest fears had always been that if I changed careers and did something I really loved to do for my work that I wouldn't have the money to provide for my family. These fears would interrogate me especially when I would sit down to pay my bills each month. As I paid the bills I felt worried that we wouldn't have enough money. Even though I wasn't finding my job fulfilling and I knew that I wanted to make a change, I did not take the steps towards making a career change because I was so afraid of not having enough money.

I sat with this fear day after day trying to understand it. I realized it came from hearing my dad talk repeatedly about never having enough money. Even though he owned a large apartment building and had built some wealth for himself, he still never felt that he had enough money. So, we would always be watching every penny growing up. I saw that my fears were coming from a belief that said, "There is never enough money for me and my family."

I continued to explore this belief. I questioned it. I asked myself, "Is that true?" As I looked back over my life I saw how often my dad limited our family's spending when we actually had the resources for a better life. He limited us because he himself held a strong belief that there wasn't enough. I had adopted my dad's belief -- it was programmed into my mind. I saw that all throughout my life my needs had been abundantly provided for -- I even had seen some amazing miracles happen for our family when it came to money.

I decided that I wanted to adopt a new belief. I chose for my new belief, "There is plenty of money in the World. I have more than enough money to spare and to share. Money flows to me in abundant ways." I practiced this new belief over and over. I wrote it on a 3x5 card and kept it with me. When I would see my mind go towards the fear about money, I would tell my mind to "STOP." Then, I would shift my thinking towards my new beliefs. I practiced my new beliefs until they felt comfortable to me. The more I focused on these new beliefs, the more evidence I saw to support my beliefs.

I then looked at my desire to change careers -- it was getting stronger and stronger. It was so strong that I knew I needed to begin taking baby steps towards becoming a life coach, speaker and writer. Each day I took a baby step towards my dreams-- I did research. I would talk to others in the field. I took time to determine what topics I felt passionate about. I put my creativity to use and came up with a transformational process to walk people through as a life coach.

There were still days that the voice of fear would say to me, "Are you crazy? You don't have the money to make this career switch." I would watch the thoughts. And, I determined that my fears would not hold me back from doing what my heart felt passionate about.

Another example of how my fear almost caused me to abandon my dream is when I began to question whether I was going to be "good enough" to be able to do this work. I attended an event in New York City and was being introduced to a group of people who I felt were already more "accomplished" than I was. I was put on the spot several times at the event when people asked me -- so, what is it that you speak about? I felt myself struggling for words and did my best to explain the ideas I presented. But I felt "less than" them because I was new to the group and to the industry. As I walked to my car after the event, my mind was riddled with fear and insecurity. I was also very tired out from the day. I thought to myself, "I can't do this. I'm just not good enough at this and everyone else seems to be much further along than I am." I was ready to walk away from my dream and stay in the life that I was comfortable with -- even though I really didn't like the work and life I had been living.

After a good night's rest I put my fear on paper. I saw that I was feeling "less than" everyone around me and comparing myself to them. But, as I started to really question the self-defeating thoughts, I saw that it was ridiculous that I was comparing myself with others. I knew in my heart that I was talented. I had been on stage before and was successful. I was getting excellent results with my life coaching clients. Yet, my voice of fear caused me to question myself. So I in turn decided to question my voice of fear and by doing so, realized that I was so passionate about this work, that I had to believe in myself and keep moving forward towards what I desired.

I share these personal stories with you so that you understand that I felt tremendous fear as I moved towards creating the life I had always dreamed of. I urge you to look at your fears closely. Write them on paper. Understand where they come from and why these thoughts are going through your mind. Begin to question the thoughts. Ask yourself, "is there another way to look at this?" You can heal your thoughts.
Moving beyond fear takes some effort. The effort pays off in the results you see in your life as you look at your fear in the face and then choose to move towards your dreams anyway.

Magic starts to happen in your life as you have clarity about what you want to create and as you release your fears! The magic comes in having the faith to take steps forward towards your dreams on a daily basis. People appear on your path. You are invited to the right events. The resources you need begin showing up in your life. It is truly magical and exciting as you begin to see your dreams materialize into reality.

In my life coaching work I see my clients struggle with their fears. Yet, with support, they too are able to move beyond fear and begin creating lives that they feel good about. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing my clients clarify what they truly want in life and then face their fears head on and take little steps each day towards building a life for themselves that brings them true satisfaction.


Let's face our fears head on this week!
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Connecting Others to Their Dreams Helps YOU Grow

Too often, we human beings operate in fear mode.  We hoard our resources--the money we have, the opportunities we get and the network to whom we have access.  We feel so protective because we think, "They will get ahead of me...there aren't enough opportunities for everyone so I have to cling to whatever I have my hands on right now."

I believe there is an alternative way of thinking.  It goes like this, "As I share my resources with others, it helps me to grow.  As I help others rise higher, I naturally rise higher as well."

That is the philosophy I embrace. It is the spirit I attempt to live with each day.  I have found that this lifestyle has great rewards. 

I will share a concrete example, an experience I have had over the past month.

In November 2011 I had the privilege of speaking in Abuja (Nigeria) to a fantastic group of women.  Their organization is called Business Professional Women - Nigeria (BPW).  I delivered a keynote address called The Mindset of the Empowered Woman.  I was inspired by being part of the event and by sharing my address with the group.

Speaking at BPW event, November 2011

While there I mentioned to the President of the group that if they ever came to the U.S., they should let me know.  I expressed my interest in helping them find the connections they need for their personal and professional growth.

Angela Ajala (BPW Nigeria President) and me at the event

Fast forward to February 2012.  I receive an email from the BPW President, Angela Ajala.  She lets me know a group of 25 to 35 women will be attending the UN Conference on the Status of Women.  She takes me up on my offer for connecting the women to opportunities. 

Let me tell you, for years I have had a vision in my heart--to be a bridge between the USA and Nigeria. For those of you who don't know, my husband is Nigerian and I am greatly passionate about Nigeria's development.  In my mind's eyes I could see myself arranging these opportunities.  I had been doing this on a small, informal scale for several years.  But now was my first formal opportunity to do a sizeable project for this aim.

Bridging two cultures - Avon hosted us and took the time to make these amazing centerpieces. I was so happy!

For three weeks I worked furiously to make connections.  My goal was to provide each woman with an experience that would open her eyes to new possibilities and ideas that she could take back to Nigeria and harness for greater success. 

Hour after hour, email after email, a plan took shape.  I found that my American colleagues were eager to have interactions with their Nigerian counterparts.  At last, an all day Mentoring Match-up schedule materialized.  I honestly could not stop smiling as I worked on the project.

February 29th was the big day in New York City.  There were meetings set up with big companies like Avon  and Eileen Fisher as well as younger companies like Snowden Capital.  I had the opportunity to stop by each and every meeting and experience the exchange of information and kindness.  It was delightful to see the spark in the eyes of the women as the day unfolded. 

Group of BPW women visiting Avon Executives

BPW Women at Eileen Fisher learning about fashion design

Snowden Capital hosted a group and shared expertise about Financial Investments

By connecting others to their dreams, I was more fully realizing my own!  My network grew as I set up these meetings.  My understanding of how to plan these trips increased.  I came away with a whole new vision for how I would arrange this type of visit the next time around.  But most of all, my heart expanded so much I felt it was going to explode!  I was so full of joy that I even teared up. (Well, that is my very emotional side for those of you who don't know me well.)

I share all this just to say -- share your connections with others.  As you get to know other people, ask them about their vision.  Share your vision with them too.  As we each offer one another assistance in making our dreams become our realities, we all benefit.  We can all grow together.  There is plenty of success to go around.

I hope you feel inspired to make an impact this way in whatever small or big way is possible.  As we care and share, beautiful ripples of success come about for all of us.

Write down these powerful words of Helen Keller and meditate on them this week:

"I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

What small things will you do this week to help someone grow?  Remember, as you do, you are guaranteed growth as well.

With a smile of amazing joy!

Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Allow Your Dreams to Mature!

Last night I attended a family barbecue.  One of my cousins is pregnant, in her seventh month.  She is UNCOMFORTABLE!  Sleeping is difficult, walking is challenging--she is READY for this baby to be delivered.  Yet, she does NOT want the baby to come early.  Why?  Because in the last few months of the pregnancy, the baby develops and grows in important ways.  The entire nine months is crucial for the baby to be born vibrant and healthy. 

So, she patiently waits day by day until the baby is ready to emerge.

It is the same with our dreams.  Our dreams need development.  The ideas we have at the outset of our journey must go through the entire process of developing and maturing.  If born to early, they may not survive.  That is why we must trust the process of our personal and professional growth.

 Each stage, each step, each moment is essential on our path of progress. 

As an entrpreneur and visionary, I have BIG dreams and visions for life.  I've had them for years now.  I wanted them all to materialize rapidly.  But, I've found that I can't skip steps in my self development or the maturity of my vision.  I'm glad that it takes as long as it does.  I'm more prepared than ever for new phases of living my life vision AND my vision gets clearer and fuller by the day.

I have clients who are entrpreneurial and they have incredible plans for business and life pursuits.   Too often, they seem in a rush.  They want it to happen NOW.  In pushing for results, they often miss crucial opportunities to fully embrace and develop themselves in the stage they are in.  I encourage them to be patient, persistent and persevere. 

They will realize their potential and actualize their visions--but it happens over a period of time.

Don't be in too much of a rush o!  Be diligent today, where you are.  Take the key next steps with the resources you have right now.  If you stay focused on a consistent basis, you will achieve things you never imagined you could.  Just because you don't see the results yet, doesn't mean you should give up.  You are developing as a person.  You are learning important life and business lessons to help you get to the next stage of your plan. 

Open to the entire experience.  It is rich if you do.

Savoring the tiny steps of progress with you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Daily Dedication

Have you noticed how quickly a day goes by?  Days slide into weeks and then melt into months.  Since time moves so fast, it is crucial to consciously focus our energy on our dreams.

Consider this simple formula - Dreams + Dedication = Success

Why aren’t more of us successful? We all have dreams.  (If you aren't sure of what your dreams are, check out my video - Write Your Next Chapter. )   Even if we know what we want in 2010, many of us lack the dedication to see our ideas through to successful completion.

How dedicated are you to your personal success? “Most of us serve our ideals by fits and starts. The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.” (Cecil B. Demille)

Many of us start the New Year with big hopes and dreams. We may even take the time to write down our goals. Yet, few of us remain focused DAILY on the ideal, goals and desires we have for ourselves.

Consider implementing these ideas:

STAY FOCUSED. DO A DAILY DEDICATION:

To stay on target, I recommend you take at least 5 minutes each day, at the beginning of the day, to remind yourself what you are aiming for.  Intentionally review your dreams and goals. Be clear on what actions you can take TODAY to take steps close to your dreams.  Say a prayer for Divine help, support and guidance.

TAKE DAILY BABY STEPS!

Yes, small steps add up.  Do your part.  Follow your guidance.  Focus your energy.  Do the legwork that comes to mind.  Though these steps might seem insignificant, they are essential in making progress to realize your big dreams.

HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE. End the day with DEDICATION:

Each day before going to bed, do a five-minute review – did you stay focused on your goals? Did you make any progress on them? If so, pat yourself on the back.

If not, what distracted you? Can you remove these distractions and disruptions? Renew your commitment. Say a prayer.

Use these three ideas every day the entire year.  You will be amazed at the progress you can make with this type of clear dedication.

In the words of the great American football coach, Vince Lombardi, “A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the DEDICATION, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.”

I'm practicing these ideas with my own dreams.  They keep me on track.
I'm here to help and support you in creating a life you love.

Check out my video on Writing Your Next Chapter -- it might be just what you need to be certain you know what you want to experience in this new chapter of 2010:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXod9UABwI

Love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Stop Comparing!

It's so interesting how Facebook, MySpace and other sites have the power to connect us with people we haven't seen in ages! For some it's fun to reconnect, for others, it brings up some interesting issues.

Recently a young man approached me online via instant message telling me that he had reconnected with some of his schoolmates online. He then said, "That my problem." I wondered what he meant so I asked a few more questions. Come to find out he had begun feeling really bad about himself because he felt he wasn't doing as well as his friends. He felt intense pressure to figure out how to catch up!

Do we really need to "keep up" with our friends and family members? Does it matter if they appear to be more successful or further along in their journey than we are? Why can't we feel inspired when we see what others have achieved rather than thinking there is something wrong with us?

These are good questions to ponder this week. After much consideration, I've concluded that I'm happy for anyone who gets great results in their lives! Yes, I certainly am. If they can do it, then I certainly can. And, I believe there is plenty of success available to all!

When we feel unsure of ourselves and are looking outside for approval, it stirs up even more self-doubt when we come across people who appear to have their act together.

This week I challenge you to look at how often you compare yourself with others. Would it be possible to turn this negative, judgmental energy into something positive?

Here's a challenge. When you begin to do this comparison, stop. Then, instead, open your heart and mind to what you desire to experience in your life in the next six months. Focus on your dream. Affirm to yourself that you have the gifts, creativity and energy to create what you desire. Then, rather than thinking about "how far behind you seem," take some steps forward in your own journey!

We waste so much emotional energy worrying about an artificial hierarchy that society tells us we need to fit into. Let this go! Be YOUR BEST! Cheer others on as they become THEIR best.

Keep your personal power intact by stopping the comparison game.

Blessings to you,

If you feel stuck in any way with this, drop me an email at thoughtdr@patriciaomoqui.com .

Patricia Omoqui

Check out my recent article on Self-Esteem...it might be just what you need to remember how valuable you are! http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/07/11/do-your-part-end-the-epidemic-of-low-self-esteem/

Harness Your Power: Expect and Enjoy Surprises!

Aren't surprises wonderful? For us adults, they bring out the joyfulness of our inner child. It's nice to see serious adults turn giddy when they receive something that touches their heart.
On the spur of the moment I decided to put together a small birthday party for Maggie. She turns six on December 15th. With her birthday so close to Christmas, it is always a challenge to find the right day to celebrate.

Even doing things at the last minute allowed for a fun celebration: several kids were free to come, a few games were organized, and cookies were baked for decorating with the kids during the party.

As we walked to her bus stop on Friday Maggie said to me, "Mom, is a special visitor coming to my party?" I said, "Some of your friends will be coming." She replied, "Mom, I am not talking about my friends, I'm talking about Elmo or Dora." I smiled, "Ooooooh. I understand. I think they are both busy and won't be able to make it this year."

After finishing at the bus stop I decided to hop on my computer and to see if I could get a last minute invite out to Elmo. As fate would have it, Elmo was free and committed to coming!
We kept it a secret. (Though I almost blew it a few times as I talked to my husband!) Maggie was very excited about her party and sat at the window for an hour beforehand looking for her guests. (see above picture). The guests finally began to arrive and the party got started. We played "Pin the Sunglasses on Santa" (a take off on Pin the Tail on the Donkey.)

Suddenly, Maggie looked out the window and saw a big, red friend walking towards our house! She began screaming at the top of her lungs and ran to the door to let Elmo in! What excitement, enthusiasm and pure joy!!! As a parent, I was so delighted to see my daughter (and her friends) so happy!

I tell you all of this to remind you of a few ideas that we can each use in our own lives. First, find the things that really excited your heart. What do you love? What do you want to experience? Take the time to connect to your desires. Next, ask the Universe to shower you with all that you want. If Maggie hadn't expressed her wishes to me, I never would have hired Elmo for the party. Because of her genuine, heartfelt request, I gave Elmo a call.

Third, ask KNOWING that you will receive. I recently read in Conversations with God about the difference between a prayer of supplication and a prayer of thanksgiving. There is no need to beg your Higher Power for what you want. Begging and pleading comes from an energy of fear and lack. Instead, ask knowing that your prayers have already been answered. Last, leave the results and the timing to the Universe. Trust. The Universe always answers our prayers but often in unexpected ways.

Take the time to make a list of everything you desire to experience! Clarify your intentions. Focus on the emotions you will feel as they arrive in your life. Have faith that at the perfect time these gifts will arrive.

I've been practicing this for several years now. The process works. Though, the Universe tends to surprise me with answers to my request that I could never dreamed of!

One last thing, don't forget to be a kid even if you are an adult. Here are some shots of me, my husband David and Maggie sitting with Elmo by the Christmas tree. (see blog below).

My love and prayers go out to all of you,

Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Try New Things

I am a morning person. I typically rise at 5:30 a.m. to enjoy the peace of our home so I can meditate and work on writing my weekly articles or making progress on my book. It's my favorite time of the day. Around 6:30 a.m. my youngest daughter Skye wanders down the stairs and snuggles beside me on the couch as I finish up my work. (This is a picture of my sparkling daughter).

Skye is a dynamic little girl. This week she decided she wanted to dress as a ballerina for school. She wore a pink mesh ballerina skirt over her jeans, some shiny black shoes and wore her hair in a bun to get the look she wanted. May I remind you she is only 3 1/2. A true character! (She often wears a Hannah Montana wig when we got out to run errands!)

This morning she came down and showed me that she can now snap. Last week she got really focused on figuring out how to snap her fingers. When Dad sings, he often snaps. I think she also saw her teacher doing this at school during music time. She was determined and focused on learning this new skill. After a week of practice, she has almost mastered it! Now she is so excited to show off her new skill.

This got me thinking about how fun it is to learn and try new things. Kids thrive on the excitement of expanding their skills. They are often relentless -- trying again and again until they figure it out. Some adults do this as well, but many of us get so busy in our daily lives that we often put aside our inner yearnings to learn something fresh.

I'd like to encourage you to let your desires for growth and expansion to emerge. Even if you feel you don't have time for learning, at least listen to your heart. What would you really like to learn how to do? Would learning how to cook Thai food excite you? Maybe you have always wanted to dance? Or, is it time to refresh your guitar skills? Has there been a language you have always had interest in? Whatever it is that would bring you joy, just begin to write your ideas down.

Some of my clients take the time to write down a list of "The things I'd like to do and experience by age 35 (or, 40, 50, 60, 70 etc.)." The people I've met who have done some really cool things are usually the ones that are very clear in knowing what they'd like to do. They've taken the time to think through their list. Then, they pick something from their list and begin -- whether it is saving for the trip of their dreams or signing up for a class -- they get started and find a way to fit what they love into their lives. Because they have a list, they are able to fit these things into the hours of time that open up in their schedules rather than sitting in front of the TV because they don't have anything else in mind to do.

Take what is in your heart and put it on the page. Why not write your own list this week? Let your creative juices flow. Don't put limits on the exercise --no worrying about where you'll get the money or how you'll fit it into your schedule. Just commit your dreams to paper.

Notice how you feel just thinking about these ideas! Imagine what it will be like to actually experience them.

My next learning experience is one I never would have thought of months ago. Because of the recent experiences I've had with producing TV segments to air in Nigeria and now on a local Philadelphia cable called MindTV, I've realized I want to know more about Television and broadcasting. So, I'm beginning to ask around about classes at local colleges where I can get exposed to this learning! I'm also attending a class on Thursday that is a boot camp for learning how to produce 5 minute TV segments. It feels refreshing when we take the steps to continually expand our minds!

Take the time to write your list this week! Let your heart beat fast again!

On a different note, for any of you who are feeling the darkness of life, please check out my article on Vanguard this week. I believe it will encourage your heart: http://www.vanguardngr.com/content/view/21835/82/ .

With great love for each of you,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Take Time To Clarify & Listen To Your Heart

How exciting it is to embark on a fresh New Year!

As you enter 2008 I challenge each of us to take the time to clarify what we really want to create. Take time for quiet as you enter this year. Be in the silence -- listen to your heart. Watch your fears arise as you look at your dreams -- and then tell those fears that you are BIGGER THAN FEAR.

The more you take the time to clarify what you want, the more likely you are to create what you want. It seems like a simple idea -- yet, how many of us jump right into doing and quickly set goals -- yet we don't really take the time to think in detail of what we want to create.

One of my life coaching clients has been working on clarifying his goals the last few weeks. One of his goals is to change professions. That's a great goal. Yet, as we've talked and worked together, I've posed question after question to him to get him to clarify what he REALLY wants to do next. By taking the time to do some soul searching before he starts his job search, he is setting himself up to get EXACTLY what he wants in his next job.

We have clarified things like -- how many hours per week does he want to work? Does he want to be sitting in an office or working from home? How much does he want to earn? What does he love about his current work? What does he want to change? Does he want to travel with his work? There are so many questions that you can pose in regards to your goals so that you can clarify your goal in such detail that you will KNOW what you really are looking for.

He is clearer now than he has ever been. . .and he continues to clarify what he is looking for each day. With this greater clarity, he will not waste his time and energy on interviews or job searches that don't match what he truly wants.

Each of us can take this time as we start the New Year to clarify our goals.

Make this your focus -- how do you really want the chapter of 2008 to look like?

• How will your health be?
• How much money do you want to flow into your life?
• How will your relationships grow and change?
• What type of service will you give to the World -- how can you volunteer your time and talents to make a difference?
• What new skills do you want to develop?
• What will you do for fun this year?

Isn't it exciting that we can be whoever we want to be? To know what you want, listen to your heart rather than your logical mind. Listen to your inner voice guide you rather than the voices of society, friends and family.

Make getting to know yourself a priority for 2008. You will be so glad that you took the time at the outset of the year to do this. From knowing who you are you will be able to move quickly to creating what you want. The being must come before the doing.

May this week's focal point be on YOUR BEING. Get a journal. Get reacquainted with yourself. Let the inner yearnings of your soul guide you into a blessed, exciting, passionate and joyful 2008. For, we are all capable and deserving of experiencing wonder in our lives.

If you need help or guidance in your journey, please drop me an email at patricia@patriciaomoqui.com .

My heart's desire and my goal this year is to assist others in knowing themselves again, clarifying their dreams and then supporting them in taking the steps needed to create exactly what they want.

With love, light and beautiful energy to each of you,


Trish
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Check out this link to listen to the free tele-class I hosted several weeks ago: http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/harness.html - this tele-class introduces you to the first step of Harness Your Power - Observing Your Mind. More free tele-classes to come in the New Year!