What To Do If You Get UNWANTED Guests!

This week I thought I'd share one of my favorite poems with you by this deep-thinking poet named Rumi.  It is a piece that has helped me to become more self-compassionate and self-aware.  It has also reminded me of the value of each experience, of each emotion, of each challenge.  So, enjoy this lovely piece.  And, share your comments after you read it!

Enjoy the week ahead!

Patricia Omoqui

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,

translation by Coleman Barks

Dealing with "Your Angry Boss"

She came to me crying, very distraught and worn thin.  She had this angry, demeaning boss.  She had been working for this boss for many years.  She tried so hard at first to please her.  Yet no matter how hard she worked or how efficient she became, nothing ever seemed to be good enough. 

As the days, weeks and years wore on, she became exhausted.  She dreaded going to work.  She performed at a level to just get by because she didn't feel appreciated or approved of.

Soon, she decided to leave the company.  The nasty boss had become too much.

Any of this sound familiar to a work experience you've had?

Many of us have run into these difficult characters in the workplace.

Yet, most of us live day-in and day-out with an "Inner Angry Boss."  Many of us believe that in order to achieve more in our lives or to feel valuable, we have to become self-critical, self-demeaning and harsh.  But, if any of our friends or family heard what our "Inner Angry Boss" was saying to us, they would be upset--they may even try to step in to stop the awful, de-motivating self-abuse that was going on.

Take time this week.  Observe your inner-boss.  Notice self-judgment.  Become aware of the things you say to yourself about yourself.  Are you being mean or kind?  Are you being harsh or supportive?  Are you offering criticism or approval?  I challenge you to write down your self-talk so you can see it in black and white.

Just as a mean boss at work causes one to feel dis-empowered and unmotivated, so too studies have shown that this kind of self-talk is demotivating and keeps us from producing  positive results in our lives.

Give thought this week to making some space for seeing yourself through eyes of self-compassion.  How might you become kinder to yourself in the way you think this week?  Write down any ideas that come to mind.

"In all the great spiritual traditions, at their heart is tenderness--just to be kind inside, and then everything rights itself. Fear rests. Confusion rests."

Pamela Wilson

"Self-compassion is approaching ourselves, our inner experience with spaciousness, with the quality of allowing which has a quality of gentleness. Instead of our usual tendency to want to get over something, to fix it, to make it go away, the path of compassion is totally different. Compassion allows."

Robert Gonzales

Then, perhaps, you may decide that your "Inner Angry Boss" may need to be fired, or at least demoted to a lesser position (wink).  It is all up to you!  

With my love,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr. 

 www.patriciaomoqui.com

On "My Final Week to Live" and New Vision

I've been contemplating a powerful question, one I came across in a book I've been reading called The Untethered Soul (I'd highly recommend it).  In one of the later chapters the author discusses the power of living with the end in mind.  Each of us are here on Earth temporarily, that we all know.  Yet few of us live knowing that any moment could be our last. 

In fact, the majority of us live each day scrambling to pay bills, building up possessions, striving for higher titles and earning accolades.  We act as if we are going to stay on Earth forever.  But, none of us do.  We each will eventually face death and move into The Beyond.

So, I've been thorougly enjoying the question the author posed:  If you knew this was your final week on Earth, how would you live? 

Wow.  Contemplating this has brought me amazing perspectives.  It has re-awakened in me new vision:  colors seem more vibrant, the air seems more satisfying as I breath it in.  I see my children and my husband in a new light, soaking in each of the joy-filled moments we have together.

Living with the end in mind allows us to connect to our true priorities, to the things we care deeply about.  Thinking of this question has inspired me to focus on what I care about -- my family, my purpose, finishing the books that are inside my heart, and living every moment FULLY ENGAGED rather than worried or distracted by things that mean very little.

It just so happened that last night we spent the evening in Chinatown, Philadelphia.  David and I decided to take the kids out for a special evening and went to our favorite restaurant, Penang's.  As we sat together enjoying a variety of dishes and laughing, I looked over to a table near the door of the restaurant. 

It hit me suddenly:  that was the table where Taiwo Bankole and I had shared a meal when he had visited the USA for the first time last fall.  (Many of you may have read my previous blog about Taiwo's sudden death:  http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2012/12/another-loss-dear-taiwo-bankole-you.html). 

After Taiwo had landed in New York City, he took a bus to Philadelphia.  He called me when he arrived so I came from my work to meet him for a meal.  At that table in Penang's, Taiwo and I shared a cup of hot tea and some food on a very rainy, chilly fall day.  Taiwo was full of life, eager to experience everything possible that Philadelphia and America had to offer.  His eyes glowed with excitement.  His heart and his vision were so big.  I was so happy to see him and spend the next few days and weeks with him.

With the question I was contemplating, it was as if God was reminding me of how real this question is -- any of us could take our last breath today.  Taiwo breathed his last breath in 2012 and he was only in his twenties.  None of us are guaranteed to be here for years and years.  Each of us only have THIS MOMENT, this incredibly vibrant, beautiful, rich moment to experience life. 

So, as you spin on this miraculous planet called Earth and approach this day, I ask you to live with the end in mind.  If the angel of death whispered to you, "This is it...your last week is here...how will you live it?"  How would you respond?  What would you spend this week doing?  Who would you call that hasn't heard from you in awhile?  What experiences would you savor?  What would you pour your energy into?

If you haven't been spending the last 52 weeks in a way that was meaningful to you, why not re-think how you will spend this upcoming one?  Approach it with boldness, passion, determination and purpose.  Live it with joy and care.

Hope this question inspires you as much as it inspired me.

With my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

Ask the Question, Receive the Answer!

One night, a few weeks ago, I was wrestling with a question, "Should I continue to publish my daily email list, Food For Thought?" 

I've been writing this daily email since 2007.  Lately, I had been feeling that I did not have much more to share.  So, I stopped writing, unsure how I would  move forward.  Deep in my heart remained the question as to whether writing the daily emails was to be a continued part of my purpose.

My greatest joy comes from helping individuals reach their full potential.  That is why I had started the list years ago.  I have been changing and growing.  I find myself expressing my life purpose in new ways.  I no longer felt certain that writing, running and managing the list was the best expression of my purpose.


That night, I woke up at 1 a.m.   The question still burned in my heart.  I was doing some inner wrestling.  Eventually I surrendered and said a prayer, "God, please give me clear direction as to how I should handle this list.  I am willing to do Your will."  I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing.  I soon fell asleep.

Around 2:30 a.m. I woke up again.  My mind was still restless.  I looked at my phone to check the time and noticed an email had come in.  It was an email from one of the readers of the Food For Thought list.  The email asked whether I had stopped writing the list.  The person said for twelve days she had not received the emails and she was concerned.  She encouraged me to please keep writing because the emails were something she had come to depend on for her inspiration and growth. 

Wow. Prayer whispered.  Question asked.  Clear answer received.  It's weeks later and I am still in awe of how I was directed.  I've started writing the list again and have a renewed sense of inspiration and focus.

(To sign up visit www.patriciaomoqui.com .  On the top right of the home page is a yellow box -- put your email in the box if you wish to be on the daily email list.)

I've used this ask questions / receive answers process repeatedly for years.  I get incredible results. When answers are needed, I have learned to pose the question and then rest my mind.  Without fail, an inspired response comes to show me exactly what to say or do.

Why not give the process a try this week?

Write down the questions you have.  Then, verbalize your prayer.  Confidently wait until your answer emerges.  Then, smile when you find the clarity you need.

You may very well be amazed how this process works.  I certainly am :)

"To be able to ask a question clearly is two-thirds of the way to getting it answered."
- John Ruskin

Have a blessed week ahead!
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com

On Living Your Passion and a Confession (Me, A Cheerleader?)

I have something to confess, something those who know me well would never think I had done. 

Back when I was a young teen I attended a private school in Indiana.  They didn't have many sports for girls.  In the winter months, I was determined to find a way to get to all the boy's basketball games.  So, I grit my teeth and got up my courage and joined the cheerleading team. 

Yes, me a cheerleader (ha, ha, ha).  It was one of the most awkward, uncomfortable experiences of my life.  I did not like jumping around in front a crowd.  It didn't jive with my personality or my sporty, atheltic self.  (If I had those pictures, I am not sure I'd even share them with you!)  At least it provides me with a funny story to tell about myself.

Why am I sharing this?  Well, for the past year, my younger daughter has felt a strong inner desire to become a cheerleader.  Finally, last week, with great hestitation on my part (I have visions of her becoming a basketball player), I signed her up for a cheerleading class. 

Her reaction?  She jumped for joy.  She came out of her first class with a mile-long smile across her face.  She was glowing with excitement and enthusiasm.  She couldn't stop talking about the upcoming competition she will get to be in, the baton twirling and the moves she had learned.  And, when she came home, she couldn't stop practicing.  She was focused, determined, and intent on mastering the cheers her teacher gave her.

When a kid has passion, they work endless hours to become good at what they love. 

Too many adults have lost this.  I see them on a daily basis.  The walking drones, looking grey, lacking smiles and robotically going through their days.  They aren't connected to their passions.  They don't feel a sense of purpose.  They feel stuck in jobs they dislike and disconnected from things that make their hearts beat faster. 

Watching my daughter this week reminded me of how essential it is to infuse our lives with activities we love.

When I think back to my high school days, I see now that I had a life-changing moment:  I picked up and shot a basketball at age 16.  I loved it.  I lived basketball. I breathed it.  I would get up at 6 a.m. to do workouts because there was very little I cared about more than becoming the best player I could be.  I could play for hours on end on the hottest or coldest days. Nothing could or would deter me from practicing and playing the sport I loved.  The result:  I scored 1,000 points in the first three years I played.

When passion arises and you follow it with hard work and dedication, miraculous things happen.

Now, my passion is to help individuals and groups reach their full potential.  When I coach others, speak to audiences and write--I feel incredible joy and inner peace. 

Are you ready to connect to more of your passion this week?

Consider these questions  (for maximum benefit, write your answers down):

1.  What did I feel excited about when I was 5, 10 and 15 years old? 

2. What activities did I do as a young person for hours on end, not realizing that time had passed by?

3.  What activities did I do in the past year that brought a smile to my face and a sense of satisfaction to my spirit?

4.  How can I begin infusing more of my passion into my daily life?

5.  Is there a way to integrate my passion into my day-job? 

The more passion and purpose you can infuse into your daily life, the better you will feel.  Rather than struggling to get out of bed, maybe you will start waking up BEFORE your alarm goes off because you can't wait to get started!

This kind of life is possible for each of us.  It takes a bit of soul searching to reconnect to this part of ourselves.  This introspection is a tremendouls long-term investment you can make to create a life that feels joyful and satisfying.

Even thought cheerleading felt opposite to who I was, it certainly seems to make my daughter happy.  So, I will encourage her to go for her dreams and to follow her passion.

Have a passionate week ahead!

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

-- Author Unknown

Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night.

-- Glade Byron Addams

If you feel stuck, I offer life and executive coaching that can help you create a satisfying, purposeful, passionate life.  I'm here if you need me!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

No Joke: My Head Was Literally On Fire!

It has been over two months since I wrote.  And, an intense, challenging two months it has been.  There are times in life where the fire of difficulty burns through your insides.  That's what's gone on with me.  It's all positive.  I feel more open because of the experience.

At one point recently, my head was literally on fire.  No joke.  One night as I slept I couldn't even put my head on my pillow.  It was as if from the top of my scalp to the bottom of my neck my skin was burning.  The pain became so intense that I got myself to a doctor (something I have not had to do in years) to get emergency help.

With the right meds and a good does of rest, relief came and the blaze ended. 

How did this happen?  Well, lessons were learned the hard way.  I had become so consumed with caring for others around me that I had put myself aside.  I was worn thin, more exhausted than I had been in years.  Someone in the family required loads of medical care.  In taking care of her, I ended up ill myself.

Someone told me during that time -- you have "special needs" too.  Take care of yourself.  It came to a point that I had too or I knew something serious was going to happen to my health.  In the words of Sigmund Freud, "Being extremely honest with oneself is a good exercise."  It was time to do so.
Since these days with head ablaze, I took a break.  I stopped writing my blog.  My daily emails were halted.  I stepped back to just breathe and improve my well-being. 

I do feel better.  But I know my journey of taking more care of me has just started. 

In fact, I've been noticing that I am learning a whole new way of being.  From the time I was a small girl I was a soldier, forging ahead constantly into the unknown, fierce and focused on winning.  Lately though, I have seen the toll this approach has taken on my body, mind and spirit. 

It's time for new ways, graceful and flowing days.  I now realize the power in gentleness and compassion (especially toward myself.)

To do life on my terms and enjoy the simple pleasures of the moment, that is my focus.  I feel better.

If your body or spirit is signalling that you are close to breaking down, don't ignore it!  Listen.  Pay attention.  Welcome the messages it gives you.  Then, offer yourself whatever it is you need. 

It is health which is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi

Take good care of yourself this week.
I will be doing the same!

With love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com

Get Inspired: Together WE DO Great Things

I walk in. I feel warmly welcomed. I meet new people with an international focus. My heart awakens. I listen to the speakers tell about their work. I am inspired. That is my experience of the WIL of Greater Philadelphia February meeting. (Yes, you must get to the next meeting!)

From the moment you enter until the moment you leave, there is something to gain from being a part of WIL meetings.

February’s gathering introduced me to a new aspect of women’s empowerment: the challenging advocacy work that happens behind the scenes to ensure women’s voices are heard at the UN policy-making table. Our two speakers, Cate Owren and Eleanor Blomstrom, were from WEDO, Women’s Environment & Development Organization.

What intrigued me most about the presentation was how the organization was formed. A few female friends of like mind saw a need, a gap, and they knew they had to do something to fill it. WEDO founding member Thais Corral of Brazil said it all started with a question, “What if we, as women, use this opportunity of the UN Conference Environment and Development to be the change we want to see in the world?” So this group of friends, of female activists, decided they must take action. They moved forward. Now, twenty years later, the results they have achieved on behalf of women worldwide are outstanding. (Visit their website to learn more: www.wedo.org).

And, that’s how WIL of Greater Philadelphia started too. A few Philadelphia based women who cared about women’s issues wanted to gain more of a global perspective. They wanted to be able to do something to assist women in other parts of the world. So, they started meeting. They found a way to touch lives through raising money and funding eight microfinance banks to date.

It is a joy to now be personally involved in what they are doing.

Isn’t that how all great things start? They start small and grow with focus, commitment and determination.

I left the meeting reminded of the truth that Margaret Mead, American cultural anthropologist expressed so well, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

You and I, and especially when WE join together, WE can create ripples of positive change on the issues that matter most to us. So, take some action today. . .the World will benefit so greatly if WE DO.

Hope to meet you at our next meeting on April 9th  (http://wil-gp.org/events.html)!