Powerful Technique to Expand Your Thinking - A Quick, MUST READ, if You Want to Feel Better Today

Woke up this morning with a mind flooding with fear and judgment about a situation one of my daughters has been facing at school.  I sat in meditation and watched the thoughts.  I noticed that my mind was going straight into worry mode -- that I had zoomed in on what was going wrong, what could go wrong and as I went down that thought path, I was finding all kinds of evidence to support my worries.

Good news is that I learned years ago that in any moment, I can change the focus of my thinking.  I leveraged my awareness and told myself gently to "STOP!"

I had taken my belief:  Things are going wrong with my daughter at school and proved that to be true.

But, I realized that I could easily shift my mind and do the same thing with the opposite idea.  What if I took 5 minutes and focused on the thought:  There are things that are going well with my daughter at school.  I wrote that thought down.  I searched for evidence and I filled an entire page with supporting evidence of things, both small and large, that were good about the situation.  I searched my mind and the situation for signs of progress, moments of good.  Yes -- my mind is powerful:  I have so much EVIDENCE OF THE GOOD.

So, which is true-- are things going wrong or are things going right with my daughter at school?

Friends, anything that we focus on can become our truth.  The amazing thing about our minds is that we literally can prove any thought we have to be true.  And, guess, what -- there is a concept in Positive Psychology called the "Negativity Bias" --it says that as humans we gravitate most easily toward searching for and focusing in on the one thing that is wrong rather than looking for all the things that are right!  As we tend to focus in on the wrong, the "Velcro Effect" kicks in:  any evidence of that negative bias will stick to the thought and cause us to feel the negative is really big, bad, harry and ugly!

So...how do we counteract this human tendency?

We can learn to stop ourselves when we notice our minds are focusing in on the negative.
We can step back.  Take a deep breath.  Become aware.  And notice an opportunity to shift our mental gears.
We can make a purposeful decision to search for the good, to challenge our mind to find as much evidence for the good in ourselves, in our lives, in situations so that we open our minds and transform our perspectives.

Why bother with any of this?  What I have personally seen, even this morning, is that when I focus in on my fear, worry or difficulty, it triggers a set of emotions in my body that make me feel on edge, bad and upset.  When I am upset, I am not very effective in handling the situation or enjoying my day.

BUT, if I focus in on the good and find some supporting evidence for it, I then trigger a set of positive emotions that lift my spirits, release good chemicals and support me in having a good day.  I prepare myself for a day of solutions and new possibilities.  And, that feels so much better!

Our minds can always find proof for what we choose to believe is true.

Why not take time today to try this idea for yourself?

Pick a belief or fear that is causing you to feel bad.   Write it down so you can see that thought in black and white.

Then, ask yourself, what is the opposite of that thought?  (For me, I was thinking:  Things are going wrong at my daughter's school.  So, I flipped the thought to, Things are going right at my daughter's school.)  Once you have the new, more positive thought, work hard at finding some evidence to support that being true.  This may feel awkward and uncomfortable because you are entering new territory as you search for the good.  You probably are not used to looking for good stuff. But, if you persist, you will find evidence.  Remember the simple idea:  What you seek, you find!

This simple, powerful technique, when practiced regularly, will expand your mind and help you see that you have more power to create your reality than you have yet tapped into.

In a few minutes, my daughter will wake up.  Because I took the time to search for all the good, I feel upbeat.  I feel full of possibility.  While I acknowledge the challenges we are still working through, I will look at her and see someone who is making progress, who is trying very hard to do well.  I will speak to her with peace and love rather than from a state of anxiety and judgment.  The energy that I just took the time to foster within myself will fill our home as we all prepare for the day ahead.

The situation at school has not changed.  It is my focus that has changed this morning.  With the positive energy I just generated within myself, I will be more capable today of being creative in finding new solutions to support my daughter's progress.  I will be in a state of gratitude for everything that the school is doing to help her.  I will see the progress, not just the obstacles.

As Wayne Dyer used to say, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  My view on the situation on school is MUCH different than an hour ago.

I hope this very practical, personal example I've shared with you this morning will help you in seeing a simple way for you to do some mental aerobics.

If you get stuck and you need support, I am only a comment or email away.

We can all make the world a better place as we transform ourselves one thought at a time!

With all my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

Practice, Practice, Practice WILL Pay Off: Key Insights to Support Your Transformation!

I want to share with you today the most worthwhile work I have ever done in my life.  The efforts I have put in have brought me more awareness, peace and transformation than I would ever have thought possible.

True, deep, lasting transformation happens from the INSIDE OUT.  When the painful news arrived 13 years ago that my baby might not walk, talk or have a normal life, I fell apart.  It was the best thing that could have happened to me.  (Please check out the first two steps of this process if you want to understand the entire process. Step 1: Observe the Inner Realms    Step 2: Consciously Create & Choose New Thoughts )

Because of Maggie's arrival, I felt such intense pain, uncertainty, anxiety, depression and discord within myself that I decided to uncover why I was suffering so deeply.  Divine synchronicity led me to the root of it all:  My thinking was literally causing my inner chaos.  I learned at that time that my thoughts about a situation triggered my emotions...and then how I felt led me to the actions in my life.  The result of this all-day, every-day process was my life experience.  And, at the time, I experienced my life as stressful, intense, upsetting and overwhelming.

I began to study my thinking one thought at a time.  I took pen and paper and began writing down all of my thoughts so I could see them clearly.  I got more honest with myself than was comfortable.  But, in this discomfort, I found all the reasons that I felt inner suffering.

I saw that my current thoughts were just one particular way of looking at things.  I noticed there were many other possible ways I could be choosing to look at things.  My old thoughts were what I had by default been programmed with.  My thinking patterns were an accumulation of what my parents, the church, the school teachers and society at large had told me.

When I first discovered this MESS inside myself I was overwhelmed with Grief and Anger with myself--How could I have been doing this to myself all these years?  How could I have suffered this much and not realized that I had the power to change all of this?  I allowed myself to experience the grief and then I took the time to offer myself grace:  I had been doing my best through my life. I literally did not know any better.  But, now, with this discovery, I sat on the horizon of AMAZING possibilities.

I now had the information I needed to transform my life from the inside out.

I consciously created an entire new thought system.  Then, came the intense work of Practice, practice, practice until I could create new habits.  Just like it had taken me 30 some years to be really good at my old thinking patterns, so too it took me time, energy and practice to create a new set of mental habits.

What I want to share with you today are some key insights that might help you if you choose to take on this work of transformation.

1.  Get ready and be excited for lasting transformation!  This will be the best, most important, most life-changing work you can take on.  The results of this inner transformation will pay off for the rest of your life!  This mind-shifting will allow you to create a foundation of new thinking for experiencing a truly happy, peaceful, deeply satisfying life.

2.  Prepare to sweat.  Transforming our minds is some of the most challenging work to do.  This inner work is not for the faint of heart.  Like anything in life you want to get results from, this work takes focus, it takes willingness to keep showing up, it takes practice.  This work is like going to a mental gym and lifting weights in your mind.  You are literally re-programming your brain, creating new grooves for new thought patterns to move through.  Like doing anything new, it may feel super-uncomfortable when you start.  But, with time, you will get the hang of it.  And, just like you start to develop some muscles after you life weights at a local gym for a few months, you will gain new mental muscles!  Results will come to those who practice.

3.  Don't worry if you feel like you are falling apart for awhile.  You are literally taking the step to remodel your mind.  Just remember, to get the new look and feel, you may have to break everything you thought was true apart -- and then put it all back together in a new and improved way.  It is natural to feel a "breaking down" before the new, improved YOU comes together.

4.  Trust the Process. This work WORKS.  The results come.  The experiment of your new thinking does come together in due time.  If you feel like you are going backwards a bit, sliding into old patterns, don't stress.  Just notice.  Swinging through old patterns is merely an opportunity to "test your progress" and use a new level of awareness to guide yourself back to the practicing of your new thoughts and perceptions.  What is certain:  if you choose to transform your mind, you will transform your life.

5.  Transformation happens piece by piece.  When you first discover that you can transform your thinking, sometimes in eagerness, you want to take it all on at once.  Take a deep breath.  Remember, this is Life-long work.  You will be presented layer after layer of opportunity to do this inner work.  Pace yourself.  Start where it feels natural.  Perhaps you will begin with your self-talk.  Then, maybe you will discover that your beliefs around money have been sabotaging you and you will then work on that area of your thinking.  Maybe then your thoughts and beliefs about relationships will emerge and it will be time to take care of that.  Next you may find that your approach to health needs some re-vamping.  Trust me, you have the rest of your life to do this work.  Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to do the transformation work on EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.  Instead, remember, you remodel a home one room at a time.  You can do the same thing with the house of your mind--one room at a time you will clean it out, deconstruct what doesn't serve you and then re-paint, re-decorate and create the room in a luxurious upgraded way.  You may choose to take a break after one room is done and enjoy the results of that new room before putting back on the hard-hat and going into the next room.  There is no right or wrong way to do this. But notice that you will need strength to sustain yourself through the transformation journey so...pace yourself.

6.  Inner work takes energy.  As I started this work, I felt EXHAUSTED.  I literally would feel drained of energy from the amount of focus it took to observe my mind and practice my new thinking.  Sleep helps.  Naps help.  Backing off on things in your daily schedule that can be put aside for a time may be just what you need to fuel yourself in this initial period of thought-transformation.  Remember to put on the glasses of self-compassion and grace as you take on this rewarding project.

7.  Create a support team.  You may feel crazy at times.  That's ok.  Sometimes we just need a little reassurance, some support and a bit of wisdom to keep on this path. Find a coach, a trusted mentor, a friend who has done this inner work--someone who has experience and insight to assist, stand by you and guide you when needed.  We don't have to go it alone.  And, it is quite enriching to share this journey with others.   (Yes, I do coach people through these processes.  If you need professional support, please reach out to me.)

These insights come from my own experimentation with transformation.  I am excited for you if you are going down this path!  Our planet is ready for more of us who have the awareness to do this thought-transformation work.  Imagine how much more peaceful, compassionate and graceful our world becomes if each of us cultivates the thinking that allows us this kind of inner experience!  As each of do this changing within, we literally begin to create a ripple effect of positive, uplifting change for our families, our communities and the world at large.

With all my love and a big hug to the courageous beings on the path to self-discovery!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomouqi.com

Encouragement for Your Heart Today! My World was Rocked this Week - But I came Out Stronger!

Just this week I had a person from my past attempt to re-enter my life.  He is the type of person who I'd call one of my "greatest learning partners" so far in this lifetime.  He is a person who comes with gifts to offer me in disguise.  Perhaps I should just say this bluntly -- it is because of the intense pain that I experienced from being abused by this person that I have gained the strength of character, the resilience of spirit and the compassionate heart that I have today.

Even seeing this person's number show up on my phone or hearing this person's voice in a voicemail causes my heart to pound.  I literally can feel the body systems go on high alert -- whatever is left of the old traumas cause my being to go into a panic.

Yet, each round of interactions that this person brings me way continues to help me heal and grow.  Of course, with time, I've learned to do this on my terms.  And, for the most part, I have had to put a dead bolt on the door to my life because I now understand that it is up to me to determine whether or not I want to allow this person even a moment of entrance into the peaceful life I have cultivated without his presence.

When he arrived via voicemail this past week, the old energy that had settled down into my cells was suddenly churned up.  There were moments when the pain of my past felt like it could overcome me.  But, I just observed, with great compassion, the emotional storm that was triggered within me.  There were even moments when I could chuckle at the storm--I could see that these old memories and emotions were stored in a part of my brain and that this was not my present reality.  How fascinating it was that my body, mind and spirit were having these ridiculously intense reactions to a person's voice.  Wow.

After a few days of journaling, meditating, praying, and talking through my experience with people who care deeply about me, I came back to a state of peace.  I also came away with a deeper understanding of myself, my past and the incredible gifts this "learning partner" had offered me.  He is who he is.  I have no control over him nor can I change him.  Yet, when he shows up, I have the grand opportunity to work on myself, to take further steps of healing, to learn to honor myself in a deeper way and to connect to a sense of GRATITUDE for who I have become because of the intense moments of pain that came about from our interactions.

I am better because of this person.  I have chosen to become a stronger, more resilient, vibrant and whole person because of those childhood wounds.

It doesn't feel good when our old painful memories get triggered, does it?  Yet, I've learned that the Divine plan allows for patterns to resurface so I can study, observe, and then more deeply heal whatever remnants of pain I am ready to release.

After these interactions, I feel more free to be me.  I feel like my cells have literally been shaken out and empties of junk that was stuck.  I feel the flow of love, gratitude, peace and joy increase in my being.

I would NEVER wish upon anyone some of the experiences that I've had.  Yet, I see that the Divine plan of my life brought me a series of events from which I can find great gems of wisdom.  I see that each experience of my life can be for my highest good.

I write this blog today as encouragement.  If you are going through hurtful situations, take heart.  If you have pain from your past that is resurfacing, perhaps you can begin to see it as a great opportunity to heal more deeply from your past and come into a deeper experience of personal wholeness.

None of our lives are perfect.  In fact, there is a lot of "messy" stuff that goes down in the course of our daily lives.  As we honor these experiences and the emotions we have, a great space opens for beauty to emerge in and around us.  As we realize we are not alone in having struggles and pain, we become more compassionate and understanding to the other 7 billion people on the planet.  As we seek and find the precious gems of wisdom that exist from the pain, we then have remarkable gifts of wisdom to offer the planet.

Take heart, dearest friends.  You can heal.  You can grow through whatever challenges come your way.  You can begin to see the deep lessons emerge from the interactions with some of the difficult learning partners who have been in your life.

Healing and growing with you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com

The Divine Space of Not Knowing -- A Peek Into A Constant Challenge I Face

As I woke up this morning to spend time in meditation, I noticed anxious stories swirling in my mind and body.  No matter how much I tried to relax, this relentless thinking kept begging for my attention.

As many of you know, my oldest daughter, Maggie, has a rare disease called Prader Willi Syndrome.  It is a highly complex condition --because the constant backdrop of her life is that she feels hungry no matter how much food she has eaten.  Her hunger can never be satisfied, so thoughts of food never cease for her.

Maggie, is resilient and strong--and she forges ahead through each day with such love in her heart.  She is full of potential and purpose.  Yet, certain situations create tremendous stress for her, especially in the school environment.

Thus, I am often "on-call" and need to be available to collaborate with her school to create solutions that support her success.

The past few weeks have been particularly challenging.  So, I have had my "advocate hat" on and I've been working with the school team to come up with the next set of solutions for Maggie.

In creating new solutions, sometimes we also then stir up new challenges.

So, this morning, the moment I woke up, my mind was working on over-drive.  Even as I tried to settle down and empty myself for a few moments of Divine silence, I found my mind on high speed.

As I sat in this state, I realized that once again, I was trying to figure it all out.  I was trying to get into the future to predict what would happen and conjure up a million possible scenarios of how to make things better.  I suddenly smiled.  And, took a deep breath.  I went back to my understanding that no amount of worry right now will solve something in the future.  All I have is THIS moment, the Present moment.

The intense challenges that surround Maggie's rare disease have been one of the greatest teachers of my life.  Because there is no easy solution, I truly CAN'T figure it all out.  So, I have over and over been forced to surrender and open to receiving solutions that are BEYOND ME.  When I finally stop the frantic thinking and open my heart, "God, what do I need to know about this situation?  God, what is needed for Maggie?"...it is then that quiet whispers and solutions are shown to me.

As I smiled at my own inner, insane struggle this morning, here are the words that flowed to me:

"Trish, not knowing the solution is a Divine place to be.  When you surrender and admit that you just don't know what will help in a situation, the space for Divine revelation and inspiration open up for you.  When you are fully present and open in the moment, everything you need to know will be revealed to you.  These inspired ideas come from beyond what you can think of, beyond what you can project into the future...Fresh thinking, creative solutions that will help you pioneer a new path for yourself will flow in and give you the next step needed."

So, here I am once again at the cutting edge of my growth.  I find myself in a space of not knowing what to do or say.  I find myself in tears as the patterns of fears emerge.  Then, through the stream of hot tears that come down my cheeks I receive that perfect ah-ha:  I don't have to figure this all out at 5 a.m. this morning.  I can relax into God's loving arms.  I can trust this process.  I have been given the Divine answer in every situation I faced with Maggie for the past 13 years, so that will be the case today as well.

It is as if the built up worry that filled me from head to toe finally began to drain into the ground beneath me.  This human journey is CRAZILY INTENSE sometimes.  But, I see that the struggles that are on my path are what is causing me to rise to my next level of understanding and compassion for myself and others.

I'm grateful for it all.  And, each day I am learning to find the humor in it rather than taking it all so seriously.

I pray that what I've shared from my heart helps or inspires you in some way.  First, I don't have a perfect life.  I have messy struggles and challenges too.  That doesn't mean anything is wrong --it just means that I'm being trained and grown.  And, for that I am truly grateful.  I say that my life purpose is to help myself and others reach their full potential.  Thus, I am given the set of "training" situations that will allow my potential to emerge further so that I am forced to apply and learn everything I teach and share with others.

From the deepest part of my heart to yours, let's choose present-moment peace....and know that Divine answers come just when we need them.

With all my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com