What To Do If You Get UNWANTED Guests!

This week I thought I'd share one of my favorite poems with you by this deep-thinking poet named Rumi.  It is a piece that has helped me to become more self-compassionate and self-aware.  It has also reminded me of the value of each experience, of each emotion, of each challenge.  So, enjoy this lovely piece.  And, share your comments after you read it!

Enjoy the week ahead!

Patricia Omoqui

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,

translation by Coleman Barks

Dealing with "Your Angry Boss"

She came to me crying, very distraught and worn thin.  She had this angry, demeaning boss.  She had been working for this boss for many years.  She tried so hard at first to please her.  Yet no matter how hard she worked or how efficient she became, nothing ever seemed to be good enough. 

As the days, weeks and years wore on, she became exhausted.  She dreaded going to work.  She performed at a level to just get by because she didn't feel appreciated or approved of.

Soon, she decided to leave the company.  The nasty boss had become too much.

Any of this sound familiar to a work experience you've had?

Many of us have run into these difficult characters in the workplace.

Yet, most of us live day-in and day-out with an "Inner Angry Boss."  Many of us believe that in order to achieve more in our lives or to feel valuable, we have to become self-critical, self-demeaning and harsh.  But, if any of our friends or family heard what our "Inner Angry Boss" was saying to us, they would be upset--they may even try to step in to stop the awful, de-motivating self-abuse that was going on.

Take time this week.  Observe your inner-boss.  Notice self-judgment.  Become aware of the things you say to yourself about yourself.  Are you being mean or kind?  Are you being harsh or supportive?  Are you offering criticism or approval?  I challenge you to write down your self-talk so you can see it in black and white.

Just as a mean boss at work causes one to feel dis-empowered and unmotivated, so too studies have shown that this kind of self-talk is demotivating and keeps us from producing  positive results in our lives.

Give thought this week to making some space for seeing yourself through eyes of self-compassion.  How might you become kinder to yourself in the way you think this week?  Write down any ideas that come to mind.

"In all the great spiritual traditions, at their heart is tenderness--just to be kind inside, and then everything rights itself. Fear rests. Confusion rests."

Pamela Wilson

"Self-compassion is approaching ourselves, our inner experience with spaciousness, with the quality of allowing which has a quality of gentleness. Instead of our usual tendency to want to get over something, to fix it, to make it go away, the path of compassion is totally different. Compassion allows."

Robert Gonzales

Then, perhaps, you may decide that your "Inner Angry Boss" may need to be fired, or at least demoted to a lesser position (wink).  It is all up to you!  

With my love,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr. 

 www.patriciaomoqui.com

On "My Final Week to Live" and New Vision

I've been contemplating a powerful question, one I came across in a book I've been reading called The Untethered Soul (I'd highly recommend it).  In one of the later chapters the author discusses the power of living with the end in mind.  Each of us are here on Earth temporarily, that we all know.  Yet few of us live knowing that any moment could be our last. 

In fact, the majority of us live each day scrambling to pay bills, building up possessions, striving for higher titles and earning accolades.  We act as if we are going to stay on Earth forever.  But, none of us do.  We each will eventually face death and move into The Beyond.

So, I've been thorougly enjoying the question the author posed:  If you knew this was your final week on Earth, how would you live? 

Wow.  Contemplating this has brought me amazing perspectives.  It has re-awakened in me new vision:  colors seem more vibrant, the air seems more satisfying as I breath it in.  I see my children and my husband in a new light, soaking in each of the joy-filled moments we have together.

Living with the end in mind allows us to connect to our true priorities, to the things we care deeply about.  Thinking of this question has inspired me to focus on what I care about -- my family, my purpose, finishing the books that are inside my heart, and living every moment FULLY ENGAGED rather than worried or distracted by things that mean very little.

It just so happened that last night we spent the evening in Chinatown, Philadelphia.  David and I decided to take the kids out for a special evening and went to our favorite restaurant, Penang's.  As we sat together enjoying a variety of dishes and laughing, I looked over to a table near the door of the restaurant. 

It hit me suddenly:  that was the table where Taiwo Bankole and I had shared a meal when he had visited the USA for the first time last fall.  (Many of you may have read my previous blog about Taiwo's sudden death:  http://harnessyourpower.blogspot.com/2012/12/another-loss-dear-taiwo-bankole-you.html). 

After Taiwo had landed in New York City, he took a bus to Philadelphia.  He called me when he arrived so I came from my work to meet him for a meal.  At that table in Penang's, Taiwo and I shared a cup of hot tea and some food on a very rainy, chilly fall day.  Taiwo was full of life, eager to experience everything possible that Philadelphia and America had to offer.  His eyes glowed with excitement.  His heart and his vision were so big.  I was so happy to see him and spend the next few days and weeks with him.

With the question I was contemplating, it was as if God was reminding me of how real this question is -- any of us could take our last breath today.  Taiwo breathed his last breath in 2012 and he was only in his twenties.  None of us are guaranteed to be here for years and years.  Each of us only have THIS MOMENT, this incredibly vibrant, beautiful, rich moment to experience life. 

So, as you spin on this miraculous planet called Earth and approach this day, I ask you to live with the end in mind.  If the angel of death whispered to you, "This is it...your last week is here...how will you live it?"  How would you respond?  What would you spend this week doing?  Who would you call that hasn't heard from you in awhile?  What experiences would you savor?  What would you pour your energy into?

If you haven't been spending the last 52 weeks in a way that was meaningful to you, why not re-think how you will spend this upcoming one?  Approach it with boldness, passion, determination and purpose.  Live it with joy and care.

Hope this question inspires you as much as it inspired me.

With my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com