Create Your Dream -- Go Beyond the Fear!

For most of us, when we know what we truly want, the voice of fear begins speaking to us:

"You can't do that. You'll never be able to find success. You can't change careers because you don't have the money. What will people think of me if I make these changes? Maybe I don't have enough talent to do that. What if I fail? What will people think of me then? I'm just not sure I can reach this goal. . . ."

When the voice of fear speaks, it is easy to become paralyzed. We may even decide to abandon our dreams. If we don't abandon our dreams, we may take a step or two towards what we want to create, but then we find ourselves feeling awkward and unsure as we enter new territory in our lives. So, how do we begin to move beyond our fears?

The first step to moving beyond fear is to become aware of the fearful thoughts in your mind. Take close notice. Begin listening to the voices inside your mind -- do you sense fear in your thoughts? Do you see thoughts full of worry in your mind? Turn on your "Observer" and have it watch your thoughts on a regular basis. The Observer is going to assist you in noticing what fears might be hindering you from moving step-by-step towards your dreams.

As you observe your fears, write them down on paper. Write down the fearful thoughts that go through your mind. By putting them on paper you will be able to more objectively look at the thoughts. After you have listed your fears on paper, then sit with them -- watch the fear. Try to understand where it is coming from. Follow the fear to the underlying belief that might be causing you to feel afraid.

Yes, I have had my fair share of fears.  Here is a peek into some of the biggest fears I had before taking the leap into my career as a speaker, life coach and writer. . .

One of my biggest fears had always been that if I changed careers and did something I really loved to do for my work that I wouldn't have the money to provide for my family. These fears would interrogate me especially when I would sit down to pay my bills each month. As I paid the bills I felt worried that we wouldn't have enough money. Even though I wasn't finding my job fulfilling and I knew that I wanted to make a change, I did not take the steps towards making a career change because I was so afraid of not having enough money.

I sat with this fear day after day trying to understand it. I realized it came from hearing my dad talk repeatedly about never having enough money. Even though he owned a large apartment building and had built some wealth for himself, he still never felt that he had enough money. So, we would always be watching every penny growing up. I saw that my fears were coming from a belief that said, "There is never enough money for me and my family."

I continued to explore this belief. I questioned it. I asked myself, "Is that true?" As I looked back over my life I saw how often my dad limited our family's spending when we actually had the resources for a better life. He limited us because he himself held a strong belief that there wasn't enough. I had adopted my dad's belief -- it was programmed into my mind. I saw that all throughout my life my needs had been abundantly provided for -- I even had seen some amazing miracles happen for our family when it came to money.

I decided that I wanted to adopt a new belief. I chose for my new belief, "There is plenty of money in the World. I have more than enough money to spare and to share. Money flows to me in abundant ways." I practiced this new belief over and over. I wrote it on a 3x5 card and kept it with me. When I would see my mind go towards the fear about money, I would tell my mind to "STOP." Then, I would shift my thinking towards my new beliefs. I practiced my new beliefs until they felt comfortable to me. The more I focused on these new beliefs, the more evidence I saw to support my beliefs.

I then looked at my desire to change careers -- it was getting stronger and stronger. It was so strong that I knew I needed to begin taking baby steps towards becoming a life coach, speaker and writer. Each day I took a baby step towards my dreams-- I did research. I would talk to others in the field. I took time to determine what topics I felt passionate about. I put my creativity to use and came up with a transformational process to walk people through as a life coach.

There were still days that the voice of fear would say to me, "Are you crazy? You don't have the money to make this career switch." I would watch the thoughts. And, I determined that my fears would not hold me back from doing what my heart felt passionate about.

Another example of how my fear almost caused me to abandon my dream is when I began to question whether I was going to be "good enough" to be able to do this work. I attended an event in New York City and was being introduced to a group of people who I felt were already more "accomplished" than I was. I was put on the spot several times at the event when people asked me -- so, what is it that you speak about? I felt myself struggling for words and did my best to explain the ideas I presented. But I felt "less than" them because I was new to the group and to the industry. As I walked to my car after the event, my mind was riddled with fear and insecurity. I was also very tired out from the day. I thought to myself, "I can't do this. I'm just not good enough at this and everyone else seems to be much further along than I am." I was ready to walk away from my dream and stay in the life that I was comfortable with -- even though I really didn't like the work and life I had been living.

After a good night's rest I put my fear on paper. I saw that I was feeling "less than" everyone around me and comparing myself to them. But, as I started to really question the self-defeating thoughts, I saw that it was ridiculous that I was comparing myself with others. I knew in my heart that I was talented. I had been on stage before and was successful. I was getting excellent results with my life coaching clients. Yet, my voice of fear caused me to question myself. So I in turn decided to question my voice of fear and by doing so, realized that I was so passionate about this work, that I had to believe in myself and keep moving forward towards what I desired.

I share these personal stories with you so that you understand that I felt tremendous fear as I moved towards creating the life I had always dreamed of. I urge you to look at your fears closely. Write them on paper. Understand where they come from and why these thoughts are going through your mind. Begin to question the thoughts. Ask yourself, "is there another way to look at this?" You can heal your thoughts.
Moving beyond fear takes some effort. The effort pays off in the results you see in your life as you look at your fear in the face and then choose to move towards your dreams anyway.

Magic starts to happen in your life as you have clarity about what you want to create and as you release your fears! The magic comes in having the faith to take steps forward towards your dreams on a daily basis. People appear on your path. You are invited to the right events. The resources you need begin showing up in your life. It is truly magical and exciting as you begin to see your dreams materialize into reality.

In my life coaching work I see my clients struggle with their fears. Yet, with support, they too are able to move beyond fear and begin creating lives that they feel good about. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing my clients clarify what they truly want in life and then face their fears head on and take little steps each day towards building a life for themselves that brings them true satisfaction.


Let's face our fears head on this week!
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Growing Younger: Tapping Into the Fountain of Youth!

I had my birthday yesterday and it was tremendous fun. 

Yes, it seems each year my numerical age seems to go higher.

None of us want to get older, do we? Let’s face it, for thousands of years people have been in search of the mythical fountain of youth. Imagine what would happen if someone discovered the fountain and bottled the water. I bet most of us would be lined up to buy a few ounces no matter the cost.

I recently ran into a distant relative, someone I had not seen for several years. I was shocked at how much he had aged. The lines in his face had deepened. His hair had greyed. He seemed depressed, lethargic. I wondered to myself, “What happened?” So I delicately asked how he was doing. He shared stories of a messy divorce, a dissatisfying job and increasing health problems. When I asked how he was spending his time, he sighed, “I go to work. Come home. Watch the news. Surf the ‘net. Fall asleep on the couch. Then start the cycle over again the next day.”

Not long after, I encountered a family friend. I had not seen her for five years and was amazed at how young she looked. Her face was bright. She was vivacious, smiling and excited about life. Her energy was contagious. I was curious, “How did she grow younger rather than older?” I asked her what she had been doing. She shared honestly her challenges with finances, a job search and a stressful turn of events with one of her children. Then her attention naturally turned to the rich meaning she was finding with life. She had decided that no matter what life brought her way, she was going to live one moment at a time and experience peace. From her perspective, the best was yet to come.

I marveled at the contrast between these lives. Fascinating—two people both experiencing some difficult years and yet with starkly different outcomes in appearance and energy.

It got me thinking. How can a person remain youthful while navigating life’s inevitable ups and downs? Perhaps we can stay young and vibrant regardless of age. I know I would like to feel like Ellen Glasgow, author of The Woman Within. She said, “Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.”

Here are some key ways to tap into your inner fountain of youth. If you consistently use these ideas, you may just grow younger next year rather than older if you consistently practice these ideas.

1.  Take care of your body. Do the basics. Eat fruits and vegetables. Drink enough water. Get a good night’s sleep. Take a short nap when your body calls for it. Stretch your muscles. Stay active and fit—at least get out and walk for twenty minutes a day. Your body’s well-being is an excellent investment. After all, you have your body for your entire life journey. Treat it with great respect.

2. Cultivate your relationship with God. Don’t reserve spirituality for emergencies. Experience God’s Presence all the time. Use daily spiritual practices like prayer and meditation to tap into stillness. Tune in to the Voice of God within you. Invite the peace that passes understanding. Notice the many ways God cares for you every day. Be child-like: trust God even in the darkest times. Those who remain aware of God’s workings are brighter and more joyful.

3. Keep positive company. As American playwright Tennessee Williams pointed out, “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Be wise in who you select for your inner circle. According to Jon Gordon, author of The Energy Bus, you should beware of “Energy Vampires.” He says, “They are everywhere. And they will suck the life out of you if you let them.”

Give yourself permission to keep the negative, complaining, judgmental, energy-draining pessimists at a distance. Instead surround yourself with positive, encouraging, nourishing, uplifting optimists. “Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which you will be” (Harvey Mackay).

4. Stay curious and learn. Too many of us stop exploring new topics and skills simply because we earned a high school diploma or a college degree. No matter how much you think you know, it is a speck in comparison to what is offered in the vast and ever expanding library of life. Keep reading. Explore art, music, science, technology. Whatever captivates the child in you—that is what will keep you young. Getting in the creative flow eliminates all sense of age and time. Live in that space.

5. Revel in life’s simple things. Take the time to savor your food, dish by dish and bite by bite. Take an occasional moment to deeply breathe the fresh, free air. Enjoy the warmth of the sun. Cherish the smiles and laughter of children and the loving exchanges with your spouse.

6. Keep love alive. Appreciate the distinctive personalities and the unique essence of family members and friends. Do not take them for granted. Ordinary interactions become extraordinary memories. You are never too old to share love. Consider the possibility of falling in love again with your spouse. If you are not currently married, open your heart to a deep satisfying relationship.

7. Process life as it comes. Express what you need to express. Cry and grieve when you are mourning. Deal with anger when it occurs. Don’t carry heavy baggage from your past. Forgive. Move forward in power and freedom. Become present to the wonder and richness of each new moment.

8. Play, laugh, be joyful! Youthful people have light hearts. Too much work and worry can bog us down. Listen to the advice of Dr. Seuss, an expert in turning work into fun, “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” Do not let life’s insanity break your spirit. Find the humor instead.

Remember. Age is only a number. Your state of mind and heart define your true age. Do not assume that getting older in years means you need to become weak, sedentary, or sidelined. As French novelist George Sand (1804-1876) remarked, “It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.”


Be determined to continue the adventure of life. Use your growing wisdom and self-knowledge to bloom over and over again so that even until your last days, others enjoy the fragrance of your life.

Here are some quotes to meditate upon this week:

“At twenty we worry about what others think of us; at forty we don't care about what others think of us; at sixty we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all.”

-- Author Unknown

 

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age.”

-- Thomas Bailey Aldrich

With all my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Let Your Wounds Heal (Don't pick at them!)

Have you ever noticed that when you have a cut, it begins to itch as your body heals it?  It is all too easy to start scratching at the scab and open the wound back up.  In fact, I've been witnessing this first hand with one of my daughters this week.  I was reminded clearly:  wounds don't heal, in fact, they can get quite infected, if you don't let them heal without picking at them!

Isn't that the truth with our inner wounds too.  Time heals our inner traumas, that is, if we aren't constantly opening them up.  Many people spend time talking of dramas, traumas and past hurts, re-living them over and over in their head.  They do this so much that they prevent their complete healing.  I'm not saying that it isn't good to express how we feel about things we've experienced that have been hard for us.  It is good to process and tell your story.  It's powerful to understand the roots of our patterns for the purpose of moving forward and not repeating them.

Remember this week that repeatedly opening up old wounds to dig around in them is much different than applying ointment, a bandaid and letting the natural process of spirit-mending to take place.

If you could use support in moving beyond the past so you can fully enjoy the present, please drop me an email at thoughtdr@patriciaomoqui.com .  Life coaching might be just what you need to make huge leaps forward in your personal well-being.

With all my love,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Focus on Love

In thinking about this weekly blog, I considered writing a traditional Thanksgiving blog, reminding each of us to be truly thankful for the blessings in our lives. Of course, I will remind you: let's all join together in counting our blessings and focusing our hearts in gratitude! But, I'd like instead to suggest that this week we focus on seeing others through eyes of love rather than through eyes of judgment.

Big family gatherings can be challenging. We join together with relatives who are experts at pushing our buttons. Old conflicts arise, putting a negative, cloudy energy in the air that everyone perceives but nobody talks about. It feels uncomfortable. Yet we pretend and put on a smile. We try to be cordial.

I'd like to suggest a new approach this year. Before you go to your family celebration, take a few moments to sit down and open your heart. Get a pen and a piece of paper. Begin by making a list of all the people you will be encountering (if it is a big gathering, just list the people who you are not comfortable being around.) Now, begin to write down any and every positive thing you can find about this person. For just a moment, move beyond your judgment and open to a bigger perspective.

If you feel stuck on trying to find positives, then say a brief prayer -- "Spirit, please help me to see this person from a new perspective. Open my eyes in an expanded way and help me to move beyond judgment and see any spark of light this person has within."

These questions might also help you in thinking about the person: Have you seen this person offer kindness to someone in the past? Are they talented? Do they intend to be loving but just never come across that way? (Give them credit for the attempts they make.) Are they full of good humor and jokes? Even though they often may judge you, is it really because of their fearful beliefs that are motivated from a deep love for you? Might it be that their mannerisms, though they annoy you, are merely what they learned growing up?

The whole point of this exercise is to focus on the light, the love you can perceive -- no matter how small it appears to you. When you focus on the light, it grows! When you focus on the light, you change. When you focus on the light, your perceptions shift. The old ideas that you felt you couldn't let go of, are able to transform.

If we desire World peace, the peace must start from our own small circles of friends and family. We may not be able to change the people who offend, ignore, or annoy us. We can change the way we view them. We can release our judgments; we can open to love.

Prepare yourself for these challenging interactions. You could even carry this paper of loving qualities with you to the gathering. Keep it in your pocket or your purse -- so if you find yourself moving into the old patterns of judgment, go to the bathroom, re-read it. Breathe and allow love to fill you again.

Ask Spirit to assist you in approaching these interactions in a new way. Ask for miraculous healing to occur in relationships that have been broken and stuck in conflict for years. It is all possible -- IF we are willing to open our hearts to new possibilities.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving. For those of you in other parts of the World, use this exercise in the same way -- make a list of the people who annoy, bug and upset you in your daily life. Open to making the same types of shifts in these relationships. No special family gatherings are needed to experience this growth.

On one other note, I want to say to each of you how thankful I am to interact with you via this blog. It is an honor to share these ideas from my heart. I offer each of you love because I know that you are pure love in your essence. You are, we all are, aspects of Source Energy in human form. We are more similar than different. Are struggles are common ones and as we join together and learn, we begin to see how beautiful we are in facing our daily challenges in our life experience.

I close with a few affirmations to support you in your interactions:

I open to seeing the love and light in my friends and family.

I open to seeing more love and light within myself.

We are all in this together.

I move beyond the conflicts and see others from Spirit's perspective.

I notice the beauty in every human being.

I see them with compassion and empathy.

I realize that their words and actions are not personal to me.

I assume that they, and I, are capable of healing our conflicts and joining together in love.

I am an ambassador of peace.

My work begins in my circle of friends and family.

The peace that starts in my heart spreads to everyone in my life.

It moves around the globe and impacts World peace.

I see my power.

I see new possibilities in my life.

I give thanks for all that I am, all that I have, and all that I am becoming.

In love, knowing the beauty of each person who is reading this blog,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

If you need any support in preparing for tough interactions, drop me an email and we can arrange a quick coaching session. Sometimes a few minutes of conversation can give you just the support you need!

Much love!

Trish

Let Your Light Shine This Week!

I was reminded of a wonderful analogy this week -- one that I knew from my days growing up and going to Sunday School. Do you remember the song, "I'm Going to Let it Shine?" The part that really got me thinking this week is where it says: "Hide it under a bushel, No! I'm going to let it shine." I never understood what the "bushel" represented before. But, as I was coaching my clients this week, it became so obvious to me.

I believe that our inner lights are hidden under fear, stress, worry, self-doubt, shame and guilt. These are all part of the "bushel" that we put over our inner light. Our inner light is still shining inside of us. . it is just waiting for us to remove the layers of fear that have built up over the years. As we peel back these layers one by one, we begin to get a peek of our inner light. The more fear we remove, the more our inner light shines. When that light shines, it illuminates our World!

One of my clients this week was focused on some challenging life circumstances -- and he was feeling overwhelmed by what was happening. As we talked, it became evident that he was making a lot of assumptions -- assuming that the worst case scenario might happen in each situation. As we talked and looked at the assumptions and the fear behind the assumptions, he began to see that it was possible to shift his thinking and focus on the BEST CASE scenarios instead.

We can begin to shift our thinking and make new assumptions. The key is that in every situation where we feel the panic, the fear, and the worry set in, we have to step back to understand "WHY?" we are feeling the way we do. If we observe our mind and watch our thoughts we can clearly understand the feelings we are having. Then, we can learn to shift our thinking.

As my client finished up the week, he started to see that much of his worry was needless -- the situations were turning out in a very positive way for him. The energy he was spending on being worried and upset was keeping him from focusing on clarifying and moving towards his dreams.

The question for each of us to answer this week is, "Can I assume the best will happen rather than the worst?" As you do assume the best of people, of situations and of yourself, you will allow your light to shine in the World.

The World needs more of us to unleash our Inner Lights. Let's shine this week. Why feel the worry and stress of the holiday? Could we instead feel the joy, the excitement, the beauty of sharing our love? How we feel and how bright our light can shine is merely dependent on how we focus our mind.

It's exciting to know this. It's even more satisfying to live this truth.

Ok, so, no more hiding your Inner Light. It's time to shine again! "Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"

A big hug to you all.
May this week ahead of you be full of positive thoughts and wonderful excitement.

I trust you can see and feel my light shining. I send you beautiful energy this week and hold this truth for all of us.

Trish

p.s. I still have a space or two left in my Circle of Power Life Coaching Group. Check out http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/circleofpower.html for more details. If you sign up by Dec. 17th you will receive a discount.

p.p.s. If you really want to start off the New Year moving at the speed of light towards your dreams, then sign-up for one-on-one life coaching. You will be launched into 2008 in a way you could never have imagined! Check out what other clients have said: http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/lifecoach.html (see the bottom of the page).