On Turning 65 . . .So Old, So Fast! Yes, Another Birthday. . .

This past week while on Facebook, a gentleman began to chat with me.  We exchanged the normal greetings.  Then, he brought a curious question, "How old are you?" 

I responded, "An African woman doesn't tell her age."  (For those of you who don't know, I have been married to a Nigerian man for eleven years. I have learned this response from some of my Nigerian friends.)

He persisted, "Tell me your age."

I chuckled to myself wondering why he needed or even wanted to know my age.

I replied, "Since this seems so important to you, perhaps you should take a guess."

A few minutes later a message came, "I think you are 65."

I sat astounded.  I have never had someone tell me they think I am that old.  I asked, "Did you take a look at my picture?"

He said, "Yes, you look 65 in it."

(for your reference, here is the picture

I examined my picture closely.  I don't have many wrinkles, nor do I have grey hair.  But I became curious.  I realized he was entitled to his own perspective.  Through his lenses, I must have seemed like an older woman.

I found it fascinating.  Especially with my birthday coming up.  Age is just a number.  Most importantly, is how do I feel inside myself--am I at peace, satisfied, filled with joy, living purposefully?  That is my aim no matter how young or old I appear to others.

I let the man know, "Well, I am actually about half the age of what you suggested."  I could tell he was uncomfortable.  He tried to get beyond the topic saying, "Could we please talk about something else?"

Ha ha ha ha.  He he he he.  The whole situation struck me as quite hilarious.  It still does tonight as I write.

This past year of my life has been full of profound learning and deep personal change.  I thought I might take a few minutes and list out some of the key lessons I gained.

1.  When you think you have hit an end, it is really just a new beginning.  I faced some of the most difficult personal circumstances one can imagine mid-way through the year.  I admit it--there were moments of such darkness that I felt shaken.  I wondered how I would go on and how a solution could emerge.  Yet, day after day, light and hope would show up.  It came in so many forms.  I closed one door and another bigger, more amazing door opened. 

2.  Letting go of the old is essential for what you really want to show up.  It is easy to cling to what we currently have thinking that nothing more will show up.  Or, that we will end up with something worse than we already have.  Experiences taught me that it was necessary to let go what no longer fit me, what I had outgrown.  I had to let go of the one trapeze so that I could fully embrace the next one coming toward me.  That moment "in between" trapeze swings can feel exhilarating.  And, the more I faced my fears head on, the more exciting the changes became.

I am going to finish this post later...it seems our power is going out for Hurricane Sandy any moment.

Tomorrow morning as I wake, I won't be 65.  I will actually be............................................................................................................Another year old than I am right now.  And, that feels really wonderful.  I am deeper, stronger, more courageous and joyful than I have ever been in my life.  There is much to come in this new year.  So I celebrate wholeheartedly.


With a smile,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com

Ask, Wait, Receive the Messages - A Powerful Process You Can Start Using Now!

Last week I had something amazing happen.




On Wednesday, I was dealing all day with a challenge. It was intensely emotional. After many phone calls and emails, I was simply unsure of how to handle the situation. I was trying my best yet feeling as if I was not doing enough to find a solution.



On my way home from Philadelphia, I said a prayer, "Please give me a message. What do I need to know about this situation? What more can I do?"



Literally no more than a minute after uttering that cry for help, a bus drove by. The advertisement on the side of the bus said in big, bold letters: "You are doing all you can--and more!"



I was shocked by the message, and comforted.



Then, a minute later another bus drove by me. The advertisement on the side of this one said: "Being Tested Makes You Stronger."



I smile. A few tears rolled down my cheek. I got the very direct and clear messages needed.



The past week as I continued to face the situation, the messages have echoed through my heart and mind bringing a smile to my face in the midst of the intense challenge.



I am always pleasantly surprised by how clear the messages and signs are when we ask to be shown what we need.



This week I suggest you try this simple process:



1. Either speak aloud or write down the questions burning in your mind.



2. Ask for a message, a clear sign and indication to answer your question.



3. Relax and wait. Keep eyes, ears and heart wide open as you go throughout your days. Notice the signs and signals.



4. Record the questions and the answers you receive in a journal. Over time you will be amazed at how clearly you are guided when you seek God's help.



I'd love to hear from you as you experiment with this process--or, if you already use this method and get results,



Have a message filled week!



Patricia omoqui, The Thought Dr.

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com

Resist or Receive? You May Be Making Life Harder than It Needs To Be!

“You can’t help people that don’t want to be helped.” 

 John Armstrong

Last night I sat at the dining room table doing homework with my children. One of them was working on a math assignment. I observed her as she worked. She was making errors as she did some of the problems. I offered to help her so she could get the correct answers.

She became visibly upset. “I know how to do this, Mom,” she said. “The teacher told me to do it THIS way!” She was adamant that she had it right and was totally unwilling to receive my help.

I remained patient.  I made my suggestions then backed off.  Initially, she refused to do what I recommended.  After about fifteen minutes, I noticed she had gone back and changed the answers with what I had offered her.

This morning as I woke I was reflecting on the situation. I asked myself, “Am I ever like that?” I expected my answer to be a clear, “No!” But, I chuckled. I have to admit that I am guilty of doing the same thing.

In fact, the day before I had been struggling with a work situation. I could see that I was being offered a Divine solution to the challenge. There was a clear, simple way forward. But, I was stuck in my thinking. I wanted to use an old mindset to judge myself, thereby making the situation feel harder than it needed to be.

All too often the answers, the help, the solutions we need are offered to us. But, we have already decided we will figure it out on our own and do it the way WE feel is best. We may even throw a tantrum or get emotionally upset when someone tries to offer us an alternate approach.

I challenge you this week to notice if there are situations in your life where you are resisting help rather than receiving it with gratitude.  

Consider these questions:  Is your ego getting in the way? Are you being stubborn and refusing help? Are you open to making life easier than it currently is? Or, are you determined to do it your way even if it means your way is the harder way?

Observe. Don’t judge. Become aware. New possibilities exist if we are willing to open our eyes and ears to notice.

Be willing to ask for and receive help. In fact, be willing to receive as much help as possible. In the words of Jim Rohn, American speaker and author, “Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won’t laugh at you.” After experiencing the stress with my daughter yesterday, I have decided to get out my bucket and receive as much help as possible so that my life will get better and easier.

With a smile,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com