Harness Your Power: Beyond Shame to Seeing Commonality



Just before hiting the runway.  Empowered.

 I had a fantastic time last week at the Women Empowering Women event in Philadelphia.  It was a tremendous day of sisterhood, connection, and apprecation of what we as women share in common.

In the morning, there was an intimate discussion forum.  More than twenty women from many different walks of life (CEO, Psychiatrist, Lawyer, Doctor, Life Coach, recovering drug addicts, formerly homeless) spent three hours talking.  Powerful, transformative moments occured as woman after woman shared stories of challenges and triumphs. 

It is clear to me that giving voice to our stories opens us to feeling empowered, to connecting with others and to seeing that WE ARE NOT ALONE.  The stories shared during the forum had common themes of low self-esteem, body image struggles, rape, sexual abuse, betrayal, abandonment by parents and addictions.  Regardless of titles, economic status or skin color, there was COMMONALITY.  Each woman has her own story--a dynamic one of personal growth. 

I cried. I laughed.  I hugged.  I felt it all very deeply.  I shared my own story from childhood, one I hadn't shared in many years.  It felt good to express what was there, shed a few tears and heal more deeply.

We are more similar than different.  Don't allow your pain to cause you to hide.  You are not alone. Your pain may come in the form of your unique story, but each human being has experienced some form of pain. 

Find someone you trust to confide in.  Voice what needs to be said.  Get it out in the open in a safe place so that you can be heard.  By telling it aloud you open the door to more freedom and peace than you may have right now.  If you aren't ready to say it to another person, take time to journal about it.  Find an outlet for self-expression that allows you to process the experience and move forward.

Consider these words, "If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent" (Anonymous Professor).

Your pain turns into beautiful colors woven into the fabric of your remarkable being.
Don't be ashamed, rather, become empowered.  Be proud of who you are!
 
With my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
 
P.S. I also got to have fun as a model in the fashion show.  Enjoy the pictures :)



Getting Make-Up - how glamorous !



Striking a pose.



Strutting on the runway....too fun!



Sisterhood, Beautiful Women Connected



Harness Your Power: Allow Your Dreams to Mature!

Last night I attended a family barbecue.  One of my cousins is pregnant, in her seventh month.  She is UNCOMFORTABLE!  Sleeping is difficult, walking is challenging--she is READY for this baby to be delivered.  Yet, she does NOT want the baby to come early.  Why?  Because in the last few months of the pregnancy, the baby develops and grows in important ways.  The entire nine months is crucial for the baby to be born vibrant and healthy. 

So, she patiently waits day by day until the baby is ready to emerge.

It is the same with our dreams.  Our dreams need development.  The ideas we have at the outset of our journey must go through the entire process of developing and maturing.  If born to early, they may not survive.  That is why we must trust the process of our personal and professional growth.

 Each stage, each step, each moment is essential on our path of progress. 

As an entrpreneur and visionary, I have BIG dreams and visions for life.  I've had them for years now.  I wanted them all to materialize rapidly.  But, I've found that I can't skip steps in my self development or the maturity of my vision.  I'm glad that it takes as long as it does.  I'm more prepared than ever for new phases of living my life vision AND my vision gets clearer and fuller by the day.

I have clients who are entrpreneurial and they have incredible plans for business and life pursuits.   Too often, they seem in a rush.  They want it to happen NOW.  In pushing for results, they often miss crucial opportunities to fully embrace and develop themselves in the stage they are in.  I encourage them to be patient, persistent and persevere. 

They will realize their potential and actualize their visions--but it happens over a period of time.

Don't be in too much of a rush o!  Be diligent today, where you are.  Take the key next steps with the resources you have right now.  If you stay focused on a consistent basis, you will achieve things you never imagined you could.  Just because you don't see the results yet, doesn't mean you should give up.  You are developing as a person.  You are learning important life and business lessons to help you get to the next stage of your plan. 

Open to the entire experience.  It is rich if you do.

Savoring the tiny steps of progress with you,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: On Love, Mothers and Life

My lovely daughters Maggie and Skye after making chocolate cupcakes.

Mother's day was wonderful.  My girls and I sure celebrated--and we did so on their terms (wink).  Saturday evening Skye (age 6) said to me, let's celebrate Mother's day by having a sleep out on the living room floor.  I suggested we'd be more comfortable if we slept in our beds, but she was SURE this was the best way to have fun.  So, I relented. 

We got out the blankets, extra pillows and attempted to be as cozy as possible on the floor.  I slept on the couch and woke up with a wonderful back ache.  I smiled when I felt the ache because I knew my little girls were happy and we had made a special memory.

In the morning we had breakfast with my mom Gayle.  She is an angel.  I don't say that lightly or from a biased perspective.  Everyone who knows my mom is amazed at how giving, kind, peace-filled and wise she is.  As for me, I feel as if I got the best mom on the planet.  Not only did she offer me a mother's love and acceptance while growing up, she is also the editor of my articles and my book AND one of the best mentors I have ever found. 

I am blessed.  Counting my blessings is the best way for me to remember the richness of the gifts in my life.  I have a devoted husband, a supportive extended family, two little girls who teach me to play more and I do work that I love. . . those are the highlights on my list right now.

I keep being reminded that it is the simple, priceless things that are the most wonderful.  A Mother's Day card from my child with a handwritten note is more of a treasure than an expensive gift any day.

I am mellow today, just pondering some of the deeper questions of life and its purpose.  So, perhaps the best idea for the week ahead is to stay fully focused in gratitude for every blessing tiny to gigantic.  Don't miss out on any of it.   Write a list right now!

Cherish the moment and treasure the ones you love.

That's my focus,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Life Unfolds in Divine Time

The Great Hearted Dr. Femi Olaleye

I found myself with a big grin today.  Let me tell you why.

About six months ago, I came up with an idea to write a profile piece for the cover of Vanguard Newspaper's Allure Magazine.  The gentleman's name for the profile is Dr. Femi Olaleye.  He is an accomplished doctor with a vision to provide low-cost, quality healthcare to those in Lagos, Nigeria, who simply can't afford it. 

I followed the process I always use.  The first step was to send Dr. Femi the interview questions.   Step two was for him to respond which he did in a very short time period.  The next step was for me to take his responses and boil them down to the proper number of words for a profile piece.  I started working on it and met with my editor (my distinguised, English Professor mother) several times. 

Then, something strange happened.  No matter how hard we tried to get this piece finished, we just couldn't.  A normally easy process for us became extremely tedious and difficult.  We'd try to meet and then an emergency would happen.  Or, we'd work on the document and the changes we'd make would be lost due to computer troubles.

I felt pressure to get the piece done.  I kept stating to my mom, "We have to finish this piece.  I'm embarassed at how long this is taking."

I kept Dr. Femi informed that we still had him in mind and we were gradually progressing with his piece.  This went on for over four months. 

My mom and I were both perplexed.  It made no sense that we were struggling so much.

FINALLY, about five weeks ago, the piece was fully edited and submitted to Allure.  Normally a piece like this prints fairly quickly.  This time it didn't.  Dr. Femi asked me, "When will this piece be featured?"  I asked the editor and got the response, "I'll let you know when we decide to print it."

We waited.  We waited some more.  We continued to wait.  I decided to stop asking and just let it print whenever it printed.

Today, I went online to look at the Vanguard Allure.  Guess what (drum roll please)?  Dr. Femi Olaleye was at last on the cover of Allure Magazine!  But the coolest part about it is TODAY IS HIS WEDDING DAY!

That is why I smiled and laughed.  God has a perfect timing.  It all made sense.  The piece was supposed to print today.  What better wedding gift could a man get than to have his work featured on a national magazine cover ON his wedding party day?

Life is fascinating.  Maybe, just maybe, it is much easier than we think.  What if all we have to do is OUR part?  What if we simply need to take the next step and the next and the next and leave the timing of the "BREAKTHROUGH" to God?

I feel certain that's the case.  This is one story of a multitude that I could share with you that has led me to conclude that God's timing is best and is often full of irony and humor.

So, I say, "Congratulations, Dr. Femi Olaleye to you and your beautiful bride."  She is lucky to have a man like you who has a heart of gold.  And you, Dr. Femi are lucky to have a woman such as her.  I pray that the blessings of God rain down upon your lives, flooding you with all good things (maybe even some amazing children).

Please take some time to read this profile piece and be inspired.  His work is making a major impact on the lives of many Nigerians.  If you feel so inclined, do reach out to him and offer financial support to further his cause.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/05/life-is-more-than-designer-clothes-and-flashy-cars-dr-femi-olaleye/

Trust God's perfect time.  Relax your spirit and KNOW that your life is unfolding at the perfect pace, in the perfect way.

Speaking of perfect, my column this week in Vanguard is titled Perfect "Imperfections."  Yes, it might be an encouragement to read this too.  Your seeming inadequacies may be doing more good than you realize.  Read this and you'll understand why:  http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/05/perfect-%e2%80%9cimperfections%e2%80%9d/ .

Have a great week ahead!

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.