For most of us, when we know what we truly want, the voice of fear begins speaking to us:
"You can't do that. You'll never be able to find success. You can't change careers because you don't have the money. What will people think of me if I make these changes? Maybe I don't have enough talent to do that. What if I fail? What will people think of me then? I'm just not sure I can reach this goal. . . ."
When the voice of fear speaks, it is easy to become paralyzed. We may even decide to abandon our dreams. If we don't abandon our dreams, we may take a step or two towards what we want to create, but then we find ourselves feeling awkward and unsure as we enter new territory in our lives. So, how do we begin to move beyond our fears?
The first step to moving beyond fear is to become aware of the fearful thoughts in your mind. Take close notice. Begin listening to the voices inside your mind -- do you sense fear in your thoughts? Do you see thoughts full of worry in your mind? Turn on your "Observer" and have it watch your thoughts on a regular basis. The Observer is going to assist you in noticing what fears might be hindering you from moving step-by-step towards your dreams.
As you observe your fears, write them down on paper. Write down the fearful thoughts that go through your mind. By putting them on paper you will be able to more objectively look at the thoughts. After you have listed your fears on paper, then sit with them -- watch the fear. Try to understand where it is coming from. Follow the fear to the underlying belief that might be causing you to feel afraid.
Yes, I have had my fair share of fears. Here is a peek into some of the biggest fears I had before taking the leap into my career as a speaker, life coach and writer. . .
One of my biggest fears had always been that if I changed careers and did something I really loved to do for my work that I wouldn't have the money to provide for my family. These fears would interrogate me especially when I would sit down to pay my bills each month. As I paid the bills I felt worried that we wouldn't have enough money. Even though I wasn't finding my job fulfilling and I knew that I wanted to make a change, I did not take the steps towards making a career change because I was so afraid of not having enough money.
I sat with this fear day after day trying to understand it. I realized it came from hearing my dad talk repeatedly about never having enough money. Even though he owned a large apartment building and had built some wealth for himself, he still never felt that he had enough money. So, we would always be watching every penny growing up. I saw that my fears were coming from a belief that said, "There is never enough money for me and my family."
I continued to explore this belief. I questioned it. I asked myself, "Is that true?" As I looked back over my life I saw how often my dad limited our family's spending when we actually had the resources for a better life. He limited us because he himself held a strong belief that there wasn't enough. I had adopted my dad's belief -- it was programmed into my mind. I saw that all throughout my life my needs had been abundantly provided for -- I even had seen some amazing miracles happen for our family when it came to money.
I decided that I wanted to adopt a new belief. I chose for my new belief, "There is plenty of money in the World. I have more than enough money to spare and to share. Money flows to me in abundant ways." I practiced this new belief over and over. I wrote it on a 3x5 card and kept it with me. When I would see my mind go towards the fear about money, I would tell my mind to "STOP." Then, I would shift my thinking towards my new beliefs. I practiced my new beliefs until they felt comfortable to me. The more I focused on these new beliefs, the more evidence I saw to support my beliefs.
I then looked at my desire to change careers -- it was getting stronger and stronger. It was so strong that I knew I needed to begin taking baby steps towards becoming a life coach, speaker and writer. Each day I took a baby step towards my dreams-- I did research. I would talk to others in the field. I took time to determine what topics I felt passionate about. I put my creativity to use and came up with a transformational process to walk people through as a life coach.
There were still days that the voice of fear would say to me, "Are you crazy? You don't have the money to make this career switch." I would watch the thoughts. And, I determined that my fears would not hold me back from doing what my heart felt passionate about.
Another example of how my fear almost caused me to abandon my dream is when I began to question whether I was going to be "good enough" to be able to do this work. I attended an event in New York City and was being introduced to a group of people who I felt were already more "accomplished" than I was. I was put on the spot several times at the event when people asked me -- so, what is it that you speak about? I felt myself struggling for words and did my best to explain the ideas I presented. But I felt "less than" them because I was new to the group and to the industry. As I walked to my car after the event, my mind was riddled with fear and insecurity. I was also very tired out from the day. I thought to myself, "I can't do this. I'm just not good enough at this and everyone else seems to be much further along than I am." I was ready to walk away from my dream and stay in the life that I was comfortable with -- even though I really didn't like the work and life I had been living.
After a good night's rest I put my fear on paper. I saw that I was feeling "less than" everyone around me and comparing myself to them. But, as I started to really question the self-defeating thoughts, I saw that it was ridiculous that I was comparing myself with others. I knew in my heart that I was talented. I had been on stage before and was successful. I was getting excellent results with my life coaching clients. Yet, my voice of fear caused me to question myself. So I in turn decided to question my voice of fear and by doing so, realized that I was so passionate about this work, that I had to believe in myself and keep moving forward towards what I desired.
I share these personal stories with you so that you understand that I felt tremendous fear as I moved towards creating the life I had always dreamed of. I urge you to look at your fears closely. Write them on paper. Understand where they come from and why these thoughts are going through your mind. Begin to question the thoughts. Ask yourself, "is there another way to look at this?" You can heal your thoughts.
Moving beyond fear takes some effort. The effort pays off in the results you see in your life as you look at your fear in the face and then choose to move towards your dreams anyway.
Magic starts to happen in your life as you have clarity about what you want to create and as you release your fears! The magic comes in having the faith to take steps forward towards your dreams on a daily basis. People appear on your path. You are invited to the right events. The resources you need begin showing up in your life. It is truly magical and exciting as you begin to see your dreams materialize into reality.
In my life coaching work I see my clients struggle with their fears. Yet, with support, they too are able to move beyond fear and begin creating lives that they feel good about. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing my clients clarify what they truly want in life and then face their fears head on and take little steps each day towards building a life for themselves that brings them true satisfaction.
Let's face our fears head on this week!
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/
