A Very Special March Madness - Insights to Help You Rise to Your Potential

Some of you may not know that I played college hoops at Princeton University.  I then went on to play professionally in Brazil, England and Sweden.  For me, March Madness is an awesome time of year.

This March I have had the privilege of being a coach for Special Needs basketball in Upper Merion Township.  Each Saturday morning we gather for our own version of March Madness.  The times with the kids and the teens and adults who serve as Buddies during practice have been extraordinary and inspiring to me.

There are amazing lessons that I learn each week. I wanted to share some of these insights with you.  

1.  Be YOUR personal best.   As a coach, it has been a challenge to design drills in such a way that each child can practice and be challenged at their own level.   The range of abilities in this group is vast—we have kids who are athletic and kids who need adult- assistance to move around the court.  Progress for each child means something different.  For a strong, young lady named Meghan, progress means she can dribble once or twice in a row with a buddy holding her hand and assisting her.  Progress for a child like Cooper means dribbling through a maze of cones and not losing the ball as he strives to move faster.  We don’t compare levels in our basketball practice.  We seek to help each child rise to their personal best. 

What would rising to your best mean for you personally and professionally?   Try this week to let go of competition and comparison.  Instead, focus your energy on that next major step of progress you are ready to take.  Then, give it your all!

         2. Giving assists is just as important as scoring.  At practice, a young man named Jeremy has the capacity to take over games both offensively and defensively.  This past week during our end-of-practice scrimmage, he started to do so.  I quietly asked him to please get the ball to his teammates so they could score as well.  That’s just what he did.  Rather than dominating in points, he started looking for his teammates and set them up for success.  In spreading the scoring wealth, everyone on the team was given an opportunity to feel the thrill of basket-making.

Are there areas where you consistently shine?  Perhaps there is a way for you to assist others in rising to their potential so they can shine too.  Consider stepping back strategically this week to let others enjoy spotlight moments.  

3. Ask for and receive a Buddy’s help you when you need it.  At every practice we have at least one Buddy per player.  The Buddies come to support and guide the players during drills and games.  The players love having a buddy that pays special attention to them and provides them camaraderie and assistance whenever they need it.  The buddies are patient and wise, helping the players when they need it yet giving enough space to the players so they can be as independent as possible.  Our buddies feel the enjoyment of having helped a child enjoy the thrill of participating in basketball.

In what areas of life would it help you to seek out support from a buddy?  If you are struggling or stuck, you needn’t suffer alone.  Friends and family enjoy offering their support.  Ask for the assistance that you need.  Let your buddies enjoy giving the help while you receive the assistance and make the progress you need.   

4. Celebratory dances are invigorating.  Cole is a short, dynamic player who has the ability to score on the regular size hoop.  This past week he was on fire—shooting and scoring with ease.  After one of those baskets I saw the fans start to smile and joyfully laugh.  When I turned around and looked at Cole, I saw him doing an NBA-style celebratory dance with the in-your-face confident facial expressions and hand gestures included.  It was awesome to see this young man be so jubilant.

When was the last time you took a moment to do your own celebratory dance?  Take time this week to notice your progress and accomplishments—big or small.  Then, stand up and do a victory-dance.  Feel the joy of growth and achievement!  

I feel a bit of sadness that next week is our final practice.  Watching these special athletes develop has brought me tremendous joy and inner satisfaction. 

I pray these lessons and ideas assist you in rising more fully to your potential this week!

With my love,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.

www.patriciaomoqui.com

 

Insights from INSIDE the Cocoon - Yes, It Has Been Awhile Since I Wrote... Here's Why

Yes, I have been silent for awhile.  I haven't written a blog.  I've not been able to keep up the inspiration for my daily email list either.

There are cycles in life.  One's where we are very productive, expressive and flying.  Others when we are in a cocoon, being re-worked and re-configured for our next phase.

I happen to be in a cocoon at present.  It's dark inside but it is also safe, quiet and warm.  The learning is deep and profound.  I hadn't anticipated this happening.  It just came about as part of the natural cycles of life.

In light of this, I wanted those who read my writings to know that you are on my heart and in my mind.  And, the good news is that once I am out of this cocoon, I will have plenty to share with you.  I feel it growing IN me.  The lessons I'm being taught at the moment are taking me to a new level of understanding and a greater amount of peace and joy.

Yes, joy can be found even inside the cocoon. It is a fascinating and delightful space when you don't fight against it.  It's remarkable to disintegrate and then be put back together.

I thought I'd share an article I wrote some time ago on this topic.  Maybe you can relate.

Before You Fly:  7 Insights to go from Caterpillar to Butterfly

How often we humans go through endless contortions to escape trials and challenges!  We try to run away.  We look for someone to rescue us.  We pray that God will miraculously cut short the difficulty. But what if a struggle is serving some purpose?  I found a surprising story recently, one that stimulated some deep thinking on this very question.  See what you think. . . . 

Near his home, a man found a cocoon of a butterfly.  He took it inside and placed it on the kitchen window sill, where he could keep an eye on it.  One day a small opening appeared.  Curious, the man sat down at the kitchen table to watch.  The cocoon began to move.  The insect was beginning to push through the hole.  For several hours it struggled to force its body through the tiny opening.  Then all progress seemed to stop.  It appeared that the butterfly could get no further.

So the man decided to help.  With a pair of scissors, he made a slit to enlarge the hole.

Soon the butterfly emerged.  Its body was swollen and its wings, small and shriveled.

The man waited, sure that the wings would gradually enlarge and expand to support the body, as the body reduced to normal size.

Neither happened!  In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life on the window sill, flapping its under-developed wings and dragging its distended body around.  It was never able to fly.

In his impatience and ill-founded desire to be kind, the man did not understand that the restriction of the cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of pressing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings.  The process was designed to perfect the butterfly's beauty and prepare it to fly in freedom, as soon as it left the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need at certain points in life.  Without them, we might not develop strength or skills or understanding we need to "fly" in our next stage.  To develop the wings that will take us to the heights of our destiny often includes enduring times that feel like a death and rebirth.

The metamorphosis of a caterpillar provides us some striking lessons to support us during our own process of transformation.

1. Seek safety and be patient in your cocoon stage.  You may be in a process of transformation for some time.  Surround yourself with friends and family members you trust.  If you do not have this support, remember that God surrounds you with love and holds you in times of darkness.  You are never, never alone.   Be kind to yourself through this transition.  

2. Remember your cocoon is temporary.  The cocoon is a dark space that allows the caterpillar to go through a major transformation.  It may be dark and feel constricting.  You are being transformed from the inside out.  Trials will not last forever.  Hold onto the mantra, "This too shall pass."

3. It is okay to feel as if you are breaking down.  See the breakdown as a reconfiguration.  In fact, it is essential so that you can be re-formed, trans-formed into your new state of being.  The seeds of your new self are in you and are being activated.  This is where the "magic" occurs.  

4. Let go of the old and allow the new to emerge.  This anonymous quote says it all: "'How does one become a butterfly?' she asked. ' You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.'"

5. Don't sabotage the process by making unwarranted assumptions.  The man watching the butterfly in the cocoon thought he was helping, but was he?  From our limited human perspective, we cannot see the complete picture.  It is tempting to jump to conclusions about what should or should not happen, what something does or does not mean, how long a stage should last or what progress should look like.  We can trust that everything is being used for our highest good.

6. Acknowledge your personal progress.  Look closely.  You are developing, growing, changing.  Your wings are forming.  Embrace the personal transformation that comes with the challenges, especially those that feel like a time of death and rebirth.  In the words of Maya Angelou, "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

7. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.  Metamorphosis is intense and can be a highly emotional time.  Bring your deep, heartfelt emotions up to the surface.  Do not ignore them.  Own them and honor them.  By experiencing them honestly, you learn that you are bigger than these emotions.  If you allow them to run their course, they pass, leaving a space into which peace can flow.  

Food For Thought

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly."

Richard Bach

With all my love, 

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com