Birthdays are usually full of excitement and celebration. That wasn't how my 17th birthday was. In fact, a better way to describe that particular day is deeply traumatic.
The birthday started as a happy day. I had friends and some family members wish me Happy Birthday. I had a nice dinner, a cake with candles and even received gifts.
Late in the day, however, I received a phone call from a person in my life, someone from my family of origin. Normally a person this close and of this position in one's life is meant to offer good wishes and love. Usually this type of family member wants the best for your life and would do anything to protect you and help you.
What I received instead was a death threat. I was told clearly: I will kill you. I will come and shoot you if you do something that displeases me. And, I will hurt some of the people close to you as well.
Devastated teenage girl. Heart shattered in a million pieces. It was bad enough this person had chosen to opt out of my life a few years earlier. These threats took the pain to an entirely different level. And, because of the person's mental instability, the threats had to be taken seriously. From that moment moving forward, the fear of this person following through on what he said was something that haunted my days and nights.
I turned to God, my Heavenly Father, during the years that followed. I had surrendered and give my entire Being over to God as a child. And, I found comfort and solace in knowing that I was watched over, guided and protected by God's power and grace.
I spent time over the next ten years journaling, seeking counsel and comfort from the role models in my life. I opened my heart to healing these deep wounds. With time, I grew stronger from the difficulties and I knew that everything happened for my highest good --yes, even a death threat.
I felt I had healed most, if not all, from that time period in my life. Until recently that is.
A few weeks ago I realized that I was holding back on part of my calling back because I was afraid that this person might still show up at a public event and harm me. I didn't even realize that this underlying fear was still in operation in my subconscious. But, once again, God's goodness brought me to the awareness of another layer of healing needed in order to more fully experience and live the calling for which I am made.
I've spent time the past few weeks recalling those days as a teen. I've journaled and sketched my feelings. I've found ways to face the fear. I know more deeply than ever that I am protected--I live and breathe and have my being in the Atmospheric Presence of God's Grace, Love, Kindness and Protection. My life is in the All-powerful hands of God.
Why do I share something so intimate with each of you? Because on my 42nd birthday I want you to know that no matter what you've been through or what you are currently going through, there is purpose in it. You can find healing. You can find freedom. You can find the gems of wisdom in each traumatic experience you've encountered on your journey.
As I look back I see, that a tremendous resilience and strength was developed in me because of the difficulty I experienced. And, the level of compassion and empathy that I now have to offer people is due to the depth of pain I was immersed in for much of my childhood and teen years.
I am thankful, deeply grateful, for the richenss of these trials. I am who I am because of all that I've experienced.
As I enter my 42nd year of life, my prayer is that God will continue to use me to love, to serve, to aid and help people in reaching their full potential in life.
What is it deep within you that is ready to come up for healing? Open to it. Seek support from those you can trust -- and from those who have the expertise to help you move through the pain to greater freedom and clarity. You are an amazingly valuable person. You are more resilient than you know. You are being guided, helped and supported to break through to new levels of spiritual depth and wisdom.
May God encourage, uplift and heal your spirit today and always,
With love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
