Harness Your Power: End the War With Yourself!

When I began studying my thoughts several years ago I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D to see the amount of self-criticism, self-doubt, guilt and yes, even self-hatred.  I was my own worst enemy and the harshest task-master I could be.

No matter how hard I worked, how well I did, how successful I became -- I STILL didn't think I measured up.  Here's how the inner thoughts went:

  "I'm not good enough. I should be doing better and geting more done in a day.  I'm not a good wife, mom or manager.  I should be further on my career path than I am.  Why can't I keep my house cleaner and cook better? Look at what my Princeton classmates are doing already in their careers, I need to catch up to where they are. "

I discovered that I was draining tremendous energy with constant self-loathing. 

I spent a few years being aware of these thoughts and working to consciously change my thinking.  The work is paying off.  I have grown in self-compassion and self-understanding.  I have gained energy and felt physically and emotionally better as I improved my thoughts about myself.  I am more focused on finding the good in myself and the good in others.

But, there are still subtle patterns that emerge.  There is still self-criticism happening.  I have learned to just observe the thoughts rather than buy into them.  Last week I observed myself thinking, "Trish, you aren't getting enough done. . . you should work more, be more, have more and do more . . ."  I watched this with interest.  I had to chuckle!  How could it be that after years of working to improve my thinking that there is still more work to do?

Well, there is.  There are many  layers to the onion of mental programming that I am working to re-program.  And, I am willing to work on it because I see that negative views of myself keep me from being as empowered and energetic as I desire to be. 

Why put up with any thoughts that cause inner conflict and suffering?  I choose to keep growing.  I want excellence in my thinking so that excellence spreads through every tiny bit of my life. 

How are you doing with your thoughts about yourself?  Tune in this week.  Observe your self-talk closely.  Is there opportunity for improvement?  For being more loving and gracious to yourself?  Write down what you find on paper so that you can see your thinking in black and white. 

You may discover, as I continually do, that life can feel better when I am nice to myself.

Imagine that!  What if we were all nicer to ourselves?  I have a feeling that the world might become a more peaceful place if we ended the war with ourselves.

Here are some gentler thoughts (affirmations) to practice throughout the week ahead:

I open to loving myself more each day.  I offer my best each day.

I give myself credit for all I do.  I am growing and learning.

I am an amazing creation of God.

I am willing to be gracious to myself and others. 

I release all need to compare myself with others.  Instead, I walk my unique path.

I am empowered to live my full potential.

With great courage and honesty,

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power - On Being Empty

The last few weeks I have been struggling to find words.  As a speaker and writer, not having the words needed can be quite challenging.  I've sat down to write this blog several times and nothing, absolutely nothing comes out.  It baffles me.  Normally I have so much to say that I have to force myself to keep things short. 

I have realized that it is normal to be on empty at times.  Think of farming.  A farmer prepares the field for planting, puts the seeds in the ground, grows the crop and harvests it.  Then, the field MUST sit empty for a time while the soil regenerates so that it is ready for another cycle of producing crops.  The same goes for us as humans.  We need down time to rest and replenish, to regenerate and refill.

Why is it such a struggle to accept being on empty?  I think it's because we have been programmed to feel we must produce at top gear all the time.  We must get the results, make the mark and if you ever take a break then you will end up "behind everyone else."  So you better not sit back and take it easy.  That's the mentality I see all around me and yes, I see it in my mind too!

In a career that requires tremendous creativity, I am still learning that being without the words I need is simply part of the process.  I see that when I don't know what to write it is fine, I'm not meant to write.  I am learning to accept this emptiness and even enjoy it.  I find myself sitting and meditating.  I take time for doing things that require little creativity like washing dishes, cleaning out a closet, or enjoying a walk in nature.

The great thing is that the words do return!  And, in fact, they come back overflowing when my body, mind and spirit have had the chance to be renewed.

If you relate to this feeling of being empty I challenge you to come to accept this.  It's just one step in the process of growth and creativity.  Love the times where nothing comes to you.  Refuel yourself and be kind.  Do not judge yourself or feel as if something is wrong.  Everything is right on schedule.  When the creativity returns, you will have a new crop to share with the world around you.

I pray that you have a magnificent Christmas and New Year.
I am here to support you as a life coach and to encourage you to reach your full potential.

In humility and love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Silence, Silence, Silence

Silence is rich.  I have been spending time in quiet, deep breathing almost every day for the past seven years.  There is nothing like a few minutes of breathing to calm my spirit.

I've realized that no mater how long I spend breathing deeply, there is always benefit.  In the middle of the day if I take a few breaths and stop my thinking for just a moment, I feel renewed.  If I sit for ten minutes after the kids have gone to bed, there is great reward in this too.  Longer periods of twenty to thirty minutes take me into a deep state of inner peace and joy.

When I need answers to my most pressing concerns, a few minutes in silence connects me to a Divine Wisdom.  I find that the answers I need more easily emerge when I am quiet inside my mind.

If you have a mind that races with fear, worry, guilt, shame and stories from your past, perhaps it might be worth your time to sit quietly and breathe deeply.  It may feel difficult at first because your mind will want to keep it's pace.  If you persist, you will find that your mind will grow calmer and your body will feel renewed.

When I attended a seminar last year we actually ate our meals in silence.  It made the experience of eating toally different.  Rather than exchanging stories with other participants, we were solely focused on enjoying our food.  They also encouraged us to spend one day of the seminar in total silence -- no speaking or communicating with anyone.  It was joyful to do this, in some ways'a relief to be with the group but have no pressure of interaction and no need to say anything.

This week I encourage you to spend at least a few minutes a day sitting quietly and breathing.  Just incorporate it wherever it fits into your day.  Let your cares go for that time.  Just focus on your breath and allow your body, mind and spirit to completely relax.  You may find that you hunger longer and more frequent periods of silence.

I am doing this with you.

Much love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Experience Beauty

I just finished a walk at a park near my home. I saw so many beautiful things. Two white butterflies were playfully fluttering along. A brilliant bluebird darted in front of me. The buds on the trees are forming, some of them are fully open now. There was a gentle breeze that kept me from sweating too much. When I closed my eyes I heard a marvelous symphony of birds chirping, wind blowing, and children laughing. There were four deer feeding on the fresh, green grass.

If I had been lost in mental chatter fretting about tomorrow, I wouldn't have noticed any of it. How do I know this? Because I've lived like that. There have been so many times I went for a walk in this park and didn't notice even one of these things. I'd have myself focused on getting my workout done -- it was a means to an end. I would walk so fast and try to figure out my to do list or how to solve the many problems in my life while I walked.

As I have calmed my mind and learned to live in the moment, I have found life to be incredibly rich and full of beauty. I stop now and marvel when I notice the first orange butterfly of the season land on a nearby flower. I sit on the bench and take a few deep breaths and let my body relax. Life feels easier. There certainly are still challenges -- real and seemingly daunting ones. But, rather than waiting until all my problems are solved to be happy, I choose to be happy and enjoy life right NOW!

The biggest change I've made is in my mind. In using the Harness Your Power process to transform my thinking, I have transformed my entire life experience.

Years ago when my suffering was at its most intense point, I never thought there would be a day that I could say: I am in awe of life and I enjoy life. I used to tolerate each day. Now, I see that there is always something miraculous to celebrate.

This doesn't mean I avoid the challenges. I just approach them in a totally different way. I relax myself. I realize that situations can transform in miraculous ways. I see each moment as perfect for my journey and growth. I have come to understand that I am always being guided. For each difficulty that pops up in my life, there is always a way to move through it!

This week I saw a marvelous example of guidance. David, my husband, came down the stairs. I remembered that I wanted to suggest to him a book I had seen in a local bookstore. "David, you really should read the book Africa Rising," I said. "You have to be kidding me," he replied. He went on to explain, "I was just on the phone with a professor from Drexel and not more than five minutes ago she told me that I needed to read the book Africa Rising." We both chuckled. More and more we are experiencing this clear, direct guidance from the Universe. It's delightful to become aware of how easily we are led along life's path.

As fate would have it, we were about to take the kids to the library to get some books. And, of course, we were able to find the book Africa Rising for David to have at his disposal that evening.

Is life easy or hard?

Is it miraculous or dreadful?

Can you see the beauty all around you?

If you are struggling, please take heart. It is possible to feel better about life. If you need any help or support in doing this, please contact me at patricia@patriciaomoqui.com . I will do anything I can to provide you with my insights and experiences so that you too can feel joy, experience peace and open to the beauty that surrounds us all.

You are loved.

There is hope.

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: What's Right?

Have you noticed that when you worry about something that your suffering intensifies? Are you aware that when you re-live situations from the past, fretting about them, that you are suffering about something you can never change?

As I worked with several clients this week I was reminded of the importance of what we choose to focus on. This may sound very simplistic to you, and it actually is. Each moment we have choices to make: Will we focus on what seems wrong in a situation or will we focus on what seems right?

My grandmother is a wonderful woman. About four months ago, due to some major health issues, her sons and daughters realized that she needed full time care. They moved her to a nursing home in the area. This was a major change for her. At first, she could only find things wrong with the situation--the food was terrible, the people who worked there were not nice enough, and the bed was uncomfortable.

It was hard to see her resist this change but our family understood that she was going through something difficult. We were patient and did our best to see the good in the situation for her until she could see it herself. After about 2 months she began to settle in. One night my mom called me and said, "You'll never believe what Grammy said." She continued, "She said how she loved the food and how the people are so kind to her!" Wow. What a change this was.

Did the situation change? No. My grandma's focus changed. It went from finding the things she didn't like to appreciating the things she did like. As a life coach, it was fascinating for me to observe this transition.

My grandmother, as well as my clients, always remind me that if I'm going to teach people to focus on the positive aspects of situations, then I better do the work too! So, moment after moment, I search for any good thing I can find in the challenges in my personal life and in the World at large. It is amazing that there is ALWAYS something good to focus on -- even if it is something small, there is good in everything.

I challenge you this week to lessen your personal suffering by posting these questions all around you (in your home and in your office -- maybe even your car): "What's Right? What positive aspects can I find (in this person, in this situation etc.) "

If nothing comes to mind, then just be quiet. Listen. You will be guided to new perspectives and new ways to see life. Awaken to each moment -- miracles abound.

May you see the blessings all around you, even in seemingly dire circumstances,
A big hug of comfort and love,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Get Some Rest!

After several non-stop weeks of activity, work and preparation for the holidays, I found myself exhausted. As one of my life coaching clients says, "My demons come out when I'm tired." That's true for me. Exhaustion comes in the form of a tired body and volatile emotions. You can ask my husband, I'm the type to cry when I'm at my low point. Early in my marriage it would upset him but now he understands that it's just how I get when I'm overtired. My warning signs emerged and I knew it was time to stop.

I have gotten a lot of rest the last week. It feels sooooooooo good to sleep or even to sit (or lie down) quietly and just breathe. When I put my kids down for a nap, I put myself down for one too. Sleep is essential to our well-being. Yet, many of us feel it is more important to be busy working (whether on professional work or housework) than it is to fill our tanks with energy.

I am determined to start the New Year in good form. I noticed that not only was I tired, I found myself mentally busy. I am usually very good about slowing down my mind and taking time for meditation. Yet, as I got really busy in December, my mind got into overdrive too. It has been refreshing to quiet my mind and move into my heart. By releasing the mental racing, I find myself clearer both mentally and emotionally.

I am also planning to give my body a break by doing a short fast. I want to clean out my internal systems. Our bodies are machines that need our care. If we don't ever do an "oil change" or "spark plug change" how can we expect to be in optimal working condition?

So, if you aren't feeling as well as you could, please take some time to rest. As you rest, listen to your bodies signals -- is your neck tense? Do you feel sharp or nagging pains anywhere? Are you stopped up, unable to release the waste that needs to flow out? (Sorry to those of you who find that topic disgusting...) Notice what your body is saying. Then, take action to give your body rest, good food, and plenty of love.

I am ready for a vibrant, adventurous 2009. Are you? I'm seeing that my main priority is to stay fully focused in each present moment of life. The more present I am the more I can sense my inner wisdom.

A big hug to each of you!

Take care of yourself as you enter 2009!

Patricia Omoqui

www.patriciaomoqui.com

Harness Your Power: Take Time for Refreshment

I spent time this week with my best friend, Carrie, who I met over 10 years ago. The Universe brought her and I together as friends through a friend I had at Princeton. His parents were missionaries on the island of Madeira (situated off the coast of Portugal). The three of us spent a summer together there helping his parents with camps and other work they were doing. It was a fun, intense learning experience. The most important thing I gained from the summer was a soul sister and life-long friend.

I had fun with her 2 year old daughter Keira. We went to the park together on a gorgeous, sunny day. When Carrie told Keira it was time to go home, Keira said, “No go home. Live in park.” She kept saying that over and over. It was so cute. It was so beautiful how Keira loved nature and felt connected to the animals, trees and sunshine.

Keira reminds me this week of getting back to the basics of enjoying the small wonders in nature. The night I arrived at their house Keira invited me outside to see a frog family that lived in the backyard. She was fascinated by the frogs. She also was excited by the beautiful fire her daddy built for Carrie and me to roast marshmallows and make S’mores. Keira was intrigued by the flames, amazed when the fire crackled. I regained a sense of wonder by observing her fascination with life.

Carrie and I sat in the dark after Keira was asleep. She lives in a small town in Connecticut full of apple orchards. It was wonderful to be under a starry sky listening to the noises of the night. I felt at peace in nature.

Earlier in the week I also had the privilege of visiting Rickets Glenn state park situated just outside of Scranton, PA. My mom was my guide as we hiked a trail to the most breathtaking waterfalls I’ve seen in years. She also introduced me to the Hemlock Temple, a virgin forest with trees hundreds of years old. We walked in total silence through this forest. I could feel my feet sink into the soft Earth beneath me. I felt so supported by the ground. We both felt intense energy, life pulsing in this forest.

Time in nature reinvigorates me. My energy tank had gotten really low the past few months with all the challenges I’ve been facing. I could sense myself close to empty so I finally listened to my body, mind and spirit beckoning me for a break.

I encourage each of you to take some sort of a break this week – even if that means ½ of a personal day to go to a local park or a few hours of “YOU” time where you can do something that boosts your energy. Why put this off? Why not purposefully schedule time for yourself ASAP. Your well-being is a priority!

After experiencing this week of refreshment I’m determined to schedule mini-breaks more often. I am a better mother and wife when I feel well. I’m more effective as a life coach, writer and speaker when my energy is high. It feels good to be in this space.

I beckon you to remember the importance of self-care. You won’t regret giving your body, mind and spirit what it needs.

With much love,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

p.s. I think I may start living in the park like Keira suggested. It would be fun to make the slide my bed and use the water fountain to brush my teeth:)