Harness Your Power: Silence & Listening

I spent this entire week looking inside myself, learning and growing. I was reminded through some interactions with people close to me, that I want to improve my listening skills. A few days before these conversations occurred, I had picked up a book at the library called, "The Sacred Art of Listening." How is it that I always have the books I need right at hand? I'm so grateful for the way the Universe is always at work, supporting and preparing me even when I don't know what I need!

In this helpful book, I was reminded of the importance of practicing personal silence. Quieting our minds opens up space for us to BE more of ourselves. It is also an important practice in relation to listening. If our minds are uncontrolled when we are by ourselves, the mind's activity will inevitably pick up its pace when we are interacting with others. Then, when we find ourselves in intense conversations where we hold differing viewpoints with others, the mental speed ramps up another notch entirely!

Practicing silence helps us to see that we can be in control of our minds rather than having our minds in control of us. We are able to slow down the thinking mechanism and open up space in our head and our heart when we do this. Then, during our daily life, we can use silence "on-demand" to get back to peace. I often spend moments breathing each day to calm myself and regain perspective. The same can be true for using silence in the time we spend with others.

To truly listen to another person, we must be able to slow our minds down. If not, we will be thinking of our to-do list, past history we've had with the other person or the next thing we want to say to them rather than deeply hearing them. If our minds are quiet, we can graciously accept their words and take them in. Rather than jumping into a barrage of comebacks, we can sit and consider their perspectives. Then, after a few moments of quiet, we can respond lovingly to what they say.

Imagine if only 1% more people in the World practiced this! There would be less conflict and love would grow. We all desire to be heard. So, let's take time this week to work on our listening skills. I'd recommend that each day for the upcoming week you spend at least 2 minutes in silence focused on your breath. See if you can get your mental chatter to slow down a bit. Fill your lungs with breath and shift your own energy. Practice this on your own first. Then, if you find yourself in an intense conversation with another person, practice it again. Quiet your mind and practice moving your thoughts out of the way so you can receive what they are communicating to you.

Let me know how this goes! Let's be the change we want to see in the World. Let's reduce the conflict in our lives so that we reduce the conflict in the World at large.

On a side-note, please check out my updated website. It is full of wonderful resources to support you in your personal growth and well-being. My only desire in life is that more and more people see that they can move beyond suffering and become truly peaceful and happy inside.

A big hug,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Focus on Love

In thinking about this weekly blog, I considered writing a traditional Thanksgiving blog, reminding each of us to be truly thankful for the blessings in our lives. Of course, I will remind you: let's all join together in counting our blessings and focusing our hearts in gratitude! But, I'd like instead to suggest that this week we focus on seeing others through eyes of love rather than through eyes of judgment.

Big family gatherings can be challenging. We join together with relatives who are experts at pushing our buttons. Old conflicts arise, putting a negative, cloudy energy in the air that everyone perceives but nobody talks about. It feels uncomfortable. Yet we pretend and put on a smile. We try to be cordial.

I'd like to suggest a new approach this year. Before you go to your family celebration, take a few moments to sit down and open your heart. Get a pen and a piece of paper. Begin by making a list of all the people you will be encountering (if it is a big gathering, just list the people who you are not comfortable being around.) Now, begin to write down any and every positive thing you can find about this person. For just a moment, move beyond your judgment and open to a bigger perspective.

If you feel stuck on trying to find positives, then say a brief prayer -- "Spirit, please help me to see this person from a new perspective. Open my eyes in an expanded way and help me to move beyond judgment and see any spark of light this person has within."

These questions might also help you in thinking about the person: Have you seen this person offer kindness to someone in the past? Are they talented? Do they intend to be loving but just never come across that way? (Give them credit for the attempts they make.) Are they full of good humor and jokes? Even though they often may judge you, is it really because of their fearful beliefs that are motivated from a deep love for you? Might it be that their mannerisms, though they annoy you, are merely what they learned growing up?

The whole point of this exercise is to focus on the light, the love you can perceive -- no matter how small it appears to you. When you focus on the light, it grows! When you focus on the light, you change. When you focus on the light, your perceptions shift. The old ideas that you felt you couldn't let go of, are able to transform.

If we desire World peace, the peace must start from our own small circles of friends and family. We may not be able to change the people who offend, ignore, or annoy us. We can change the way we view them. We can release our judgments; we can open to love.

Prepare yourself for these challenging interactions. You could even carry this paper of loving qualities with you to the gathering. Keep it in your pocket or your purse -- so if you find yourself moving into the old patterns of judgment, go to the bathroom, re-read it. Breathe and allow love to fill you again.

Ask Spirit to assist you in approaching these interactions in a new way. Ask for miraculous healing to occur in relationships that have been broken and stuck in conflict for years. It is all possible -- IF we are willing to open our hearts to new possibilities.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving. For those of you in other parts of the World, use this exercise in the same way -- make a list of the people who annoy, bug and upset you in your daily life. Open to making the same types of shifts in these relationships. No special family gatherings are needed to experience this growth.

On one other note, I want to say to each of you how thankful I am to interact with you via this blog. It is an honor to share these ideas from my heart. I offer each of you love because I know that you are pure love in your essence. You are, we all are, aspects of Source Energy in human form. We are more similar than different. Are struggles are common ones and as we join together and learn, we begin to see how beautiful we are in facing our daily challenges in our life experience.

I close with a few affirmations to support you in your interactions:

I open to seeing the love and light in my friends and family.

I open to seeing more love and light within myself.

We are all in this together.

I move beyond the conflicts and see others from Spirit's perspective.

I notice the beauty in every human being.

I see them with compassion and empathy.

I realize that their words and actions are not personal to me.

I assume that they, and I, are capable of healing our conflicts and joining together in love.

I am an ambassador of peace.

My work begins in my circle of friends and family.

The peace that starts in my heart spreads to everyone in my life.

It moves around the globe and impacts World peace.

I see my power.

I see new possibilities in my life.

I give thanks for all that I am, all that I have, and all that I am becoming.

In love, knowing the beauty of each person who is reading this blog,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

If you need any support in preparing for tough interactions, drop me an email and we can arrange a quick coaching session. Sometimes a few minutes of conversation can give you just the support you need!

Much love!

Trish

Harness Your Power: Release Excuses

It is easy to feel a "victim" of life. People don't always treat us like we want them too. Financial markets don't move in the direction we hope. Circumstances rarely ever turn out as we planned. In the midst of all these aspects of life that we can't control, we forget that we can control the most important thing of all -- our reaction.

For several years I've observed people in my life wanting to blame outside forces for where they are in their lives. They spend hours complaining, whining and resisting life. They use large amounts of energy trying to find excuses as to why they feel unhappy. I understand. I've been in the same place--fretting and trying to control my life thinking that doing so would make me feel better.

It wasn't until I stopped blaming others that I became vividly aware that if I go inside, I can find peace. I choose how I feel. No one can dictate that for me. I choose what I think. Nobody is thinking for me. It is I who choose my reactions to life. Once I understood that I am the creator of my life experience, my whole life changed from within my heart.

People in my life were still the same. Circumstances remained challenging. The light of hope and peace that sparked within my heart brought new vitality and vision. My perspective shifted: I could find joy even on the darkest of days.

To learn this truth, I had to give up my excuses. I needed to drop them completely. Was life challenging? Sure it was! But, that didn't mean that I had to be an emotional wreck. In fact, I began to see that the "story lines" of my life were fascinating. I observed myself in each circumstance. I found new power to become who I had always wanted to be. Life didn't need to change. I did.

Change begins within. There is no time like NOW for each of us to choose what we want to experience. Are you going to be focused on gratitude today or will you be down in the dumps? Will you feel the frantic fear that is rampant in our society or will you see that we are surrounded by the peace of nature? Your experience of life is dictated by your experience within.

I challenge each of us to look at the excuses we still hold -- to understand why it is we think that we must put off our happiness for a sunnier day. Why wait for a wonderful life? Instead, look within and see that you have the inner resources to create the wonder, joy and peace in this moment.

I write all this to myself as well as each of you reading. I need constant reminders that I am stronger, more remarkable and vibrant than I give myself credit for. I find this when I quiet my mind and connect with my brilliant spirit.

Take time this week to be silent. Listen to the peace all around you. Notice any conflict within. Ask the Universe to guide you towards beauty and joy. You are ready to experience more of this. This doesn't need to happen AFTER circumstances change. It can begin now.

With love, joy and peace,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

p.s. Exciting news -- I am going to have a weekly 5 - 7 minute spot on Nigerian National TV. You can check out some of the clips that will be airing by visiting www.youtube.com . Search by "Patricia Omoqui" and you can get a sneak peek of some wonderful topics that can inspire your heart.

Harness Your Power: Communicate Authentically

I was blessed this week to find a wonderful book at Barnes & Noble called Saying What's Real, by Dr. Susan Campbell. I was searching through the books in the relationship section and was guided to this one. The beauty of this book is that Dr. Campbell provides 7 ways to start sentences that get you to communicate more authentically with the people in your life. She also helps you understand at a deeper level the communication patterns you've developed.

I'll share a couple of these sentence starters with you so you can get a better feel for the book. "Hearing you say that, I feel...", or "I'm getting triggered by something you said (or did)...", or "I appreciate you for..." These sentence starters give us a way to begin to honestly express how we feel rather than using ineffective communication patterns or sitting silently and wondering (or suffering) because we have something to say but aren't saying it. She suggests that it is possible to deal with conflict and challenge in a relationship in present time rather than allowing it to build up over time.

I found this book particularly helpful right now. In my family growing up we were told not to express how we felt--especially in relation to my dad's emotional volatility. We walked on eggshells. I learned a pattern of silent suffering and living with tremendous inner conflict. It became normal to not say what I needed to say or express how I felt.

I have often repeated this pattern in my relationship. It's beautiful how clearly I see this now. I've been actively taking steps to change this pattern over the last few years. It has taken courage to begin speaking my truth and express my authentic self. I felt fear about how the other person would respond. With practice and time, I don't feel this sense of fear to the same extent. In fact, I'm getting to a point now where I can't help but tell people how I really feel because if I don't, I feel tremendous inner conflict.

I'd encourage you this week to think about your patterns of communication. Do you avoid conflict? Do you use repetitive responses with people rather than expressing how you really feel? Are you defensive? Do you even know how you feel anymore? Do you express it?

Pick up Saying What's Real this week if you feel it might support you. I'm half way through this book and it is an excellent resource.

Let's grow together in communicating our truth so we create a more harmonious, healed world.

A big hug,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/