Once we realize that every circumstance we face is designed to help us grow, it becomes easier to stop the self-judgment. We stop the blame of forces outside of ourselves. We stop the worry about what others will think because of the "messy" situations we find ourselves in. We can relax, open and begin asking the powerful questions that will guide us to our highest potential WITHIN the situation:
"Since I am experiencing this, how can this be used for my highest good and learning? What lesson am I being guided to learn? What fear or self-judgment is it time to release?"
These powerful questions bring us profound insights if we are willing to open our hearts and hear the answers.
For me, dealing with my daughter's disease is the situation that keeps me regularly on the cutting edge of growth. For you, it may be financial struggles or a physical ailment that just doesn't ever seem to heal. It could be a marital situation that causes you intense turmoil or a rift in your family of origin. Perhaps you are stuck in a professional situation that you feel is insurmountable. Or, maybe you feel that while everyone else is making progress in life you are just totally stuck and you can't find a way forward.
Whatever the challenge, if you choose to take a growth mindset and seek the deeper wisdom that can emerge, you will find that every situation can be used as a means of tapping further into your potential.
Recently, I learned a formula for Personal Mastery that has helped me in simple, yet profound ways. I was introduced to the concept via the Positive Psychology Certificate Program I've been taking given by The Flourishing Center.
Personal Mastery is composed of three elements: Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Self-Care.
If you begin to tune into this formula AS you go through life's difficulties, you discover a road map for creating well-being within the struggles.
Self-awareness is the ability to tune into and lovingly understand ourselves. How am I doing today, really? If I scan my mind, my emotions and my physical body and open to the messages it is giving me, I find guidance to help and care for myself. Rather than feeling like I have to be strong all the time or that I have to pretend that everything is alright, I can instead be honest with myself. I can allow myself to feel what I feel. I become aware of the strong and subtle movements of my inner world that shout or whisper to me trying to get my attention. I come out of personal denial and open my eyes to see what needs to be seen. As I begin to see myself and what I need, I then must offer myself Self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the ability to be kind and loving toward myself. It is the movement away from self-judgment. It is a willingness to view myself like I would my own best friend. It is bringing a gentle, kind view point as I look at my circumstances. Self-compassion asks me, "What do you need right now? How can I help you? What can I do to help you through this?" As I begin to offer myself self-compassion in the difficulty, I find a road-map to get the support I need to handle anything that comes my way. Instead of beating myself up for things not being perfect, I give myself grace and open the door to asking for and taking step towards how to do more Self-Care.
Self-care is the skill of giving myself what I need on a daily basis. Rather than being "a tough girl" and forging ahead as a soldier, I remember that sustaining myself for my life marathon is essential to living my potential. If I need to have an honest conversation and spill my heart to a friend, a pastor, a counselor or therapist, I allow myself to do so. If I need to take an hour nap, I do so. If I need to take a break from the people around me so I can regroup, I do so. If I need to simply pour myself a cup of tea or take a bath to relax myself, I do it. Self-care requires the understanding that if I take care of myself well and as a top priority, then I will be better able to handle my circumstances and as needed, care for those around me. If I am at my best, I can better serve and love and move gracefully through daily life. I give myself permission to give myself what I need.
What resonates with you? What opportunities do you see for more self-awareness, self-compassion and self-care?
I encourage you to take a few moments and tune in to yourself. Grab a piece of paper and pen. Take the time to gain clarity by writing down your answers to these questions or any other insights that you've gained by reading this blog today.
What is my mind, body and spirit trying to tell me today?
In what ways could I begin to be more self-compassionate with myself?
What care do I need to give myself so I feel better and can live more of my potential today?
What thinking am I allowing to get in my way of caring for myself?
This all seems simple, doesn't it? It really is ONCE we get past the old beliefs and fears.
I am with you today in this quest for Personal Mastery. The journey becomes a whole lot easier when we become more kind and gentle with ourselves. As the self-judgment fades and the self-love increases, even the most challenging of circumstances can guide us to incredible growth!
Giving myself permission to be human today,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com
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