Lessons from the Sewer: Unblocking the "Clogged Pipes"

I am writing and there is a nasty smell in the air.  My eyes aren't as bright today as usual.

Yesterday I realized that something wasn't quite right in my house.  I followed my nose to the issue:  our basement was full of crap (I mean that literally).  For some reason there was about two inches of nasty gunk all over the floor. 

Fast forward to 11 p.m. last night.  I stand outside our house with a Roto-Rooter plumber watching as he investigates the pipes from the street and into our basement.  "A-ha" he says.  I got the clog.  It is gone."  I go in and flush the toilets and run the sinks and sure enough, it is fixed.

BUT, there was still a sewagey mess in my basement.  I could have gotten some professional help to clean this up but I did a bit of research on the Internet.  My husband and I fearlessly took on the mess ourselves.  And, it was DISGUSTING.  The good news is that we have cleaned it up. 

It got me thinking.  Too often we humans let our inner "emotional pipes" get clogged.  Over the years, there is a build up.  Rather than processing the "emotional waste" as we could as each situations arises , we tend to ignore the feelings and underlying issues. 

When the blockage gets too big, then there is a nasty overflow.  It is at these points that we can no longer ignore the mess and we must do the work needed to clean ourselves up inside.

Pay attention to your emotional flow.  Journal.  Write down your feelings each day.  Or, confide in a trusted friend.  Don't hold all the hurt, confusion, pain or despair inside OR - you may find yourself in an emergency inner plumbing situation.

Remember, some situations REQUIRE professional help.  Get that if you need it!  The mess might be stinky to deal with but once it is cleaned up, you will find a new, easier flow to life.

With relief that the mess is gone,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Find Your Inner Lion This Week!

This week I share with you my rendition of one of my favorite parables. As you read, consider how different life might be in  the last few months of 2011 if you found your inner lion. The story goes…


Once upon a time there was a flock of sheep living together in a pasture. One of the sheep looked different than the others. His name was Rex. The other sheep repeatedly told Rex that he was just like them. The adult sheep taught him how to act like a sheep—to graze, eat grass, and be part of the group.


For a number of years he lived like a sheep. He would “baa” even though often he felt the urge to roar. One time he did roar and the others made fun of him. He was embarrassed. So he decided it was best to “baa;” he didn’t want trouble with his friends.


When he admitted to dreaming of life in the jungle, the older sheep reprimanded him, “These pastures are good enough for you. Stay here where you are supposed to be.” He often felt the urge to move ahead but others told him he was causing problems. They liked to move slowly as a flock. Rex also wanted to journey independently but the flock felt that was ridiculous.


One day Rex was grazing near a stream. He approached the water’s edge for a drink. As he bent to drink, he caught a glimpse of himself in the water. That day, for the first time in his life, Rex really saw himself. He noticed that he looked nothing like a sheep. He was a lion! He was different, unique. He was strong. He looked regal with his fur coat and mane. For a moment he was overcome with excitement. This small glimpse confirmed to Rex that he was not just an ordinary member of the flock.


The next moment fear came up. Rex had grown accustomed to a life as a sheep. He was comfortable in the flock. What would the others think if he followed his heart and emerged as a powerful lion? Yet, Rex was bored. He was tired of living like the rest of the sheep. He wanted to break free.


Though he felt scared, courage began to build in his heart. Knowing his true identity gave Rex the guts to use his strength to move away from the group. He left the pasture. Freedom was finally his. He had found his voice and he roared at the top of his lungs. Gradually he became quiet in his confidence. He could choose to roar or be quiet. He explored the highlands and moved at his own pace. He found the rhythm of life he had longed for.


He finally felt comfortable in his own skin. At last, he was in sync with himself.


Many of us are so conditioned that we remain in groups even after we’ve outgrown them. We follow the crowd blindly trying our best to fit in. We are careful not to stand out too much so that we are accepted. We stick with the status quo even though we long to break free, to express ourselves in ways that resonate with our spirit.


We live prisoners to mental programming that has caused us to believe “we can’t”, “we shouldn’t” and even “we can’t follow our hearts.” And so we live in our heads playing over and over again the negative programs we’ve picked up along the way. We feel boxed in and miserable. Yet we wear a sheep-like smile to give others the impression that we are “doing just fine.”


I encourage you to look in a mirror this week. Really look at yourself. Look beyond the surface. Take time to see yourself with new eyes. Take off the glasses of self-judgment you’ve been told to wear. Ask yourself, “Who am I and how do I want to live my life?” Let answers come from your heart rather than from your head.


Smile as you see yourself. Let go of ideas of style and physical attractiveness. Instead, notice the uniqueness of your face. Gaze into the bright and sparkly gleam of your own eyes. See the genuineness of your smile. You are incredible, aren’t you? Enjoy this moment of self-appreciation. Feel your energy as you dare to admire yourself.


It’s ok to do this. You aren’t an egomaniac if you do. You are simply connecting to your spirit as it expresses through the body you’ve chosen for this journey. If you find yourself unable to do this, ask yourself why? Then see if you can’t at least find one or two things that you like about yourself.


Now, try to hear your own voice. What is it that you have not been saying that you have in your heart? What is it that you’ve held back for years because you feared others might judge you or mock you or even reject you? Imagine for a moment the way life might feel if you finally gave voice to your truth. As you look in the mirror practice saying those things that you’ve suppressed. It is time for your truth to emerge.


We are all born as lions. But then we are trained to be sheep – accepting without question, limitations imposed on us and sticking with the group. We plod through life even when we sense a strong, purpose and direction in our heart.


Roar, lion, roar. Break free, lion, break free. This is the way life was meant to be lived. You don’t have to stay with the flock in a pasture that’s dry and tasteless to you. Speak your truth, lion, speak it loudly.


Your assignment this week is to notice whether you act like a lion or a sheep. Do you follow the crowd hoping to fit in? Or, do you move at your own pace following the inner yearnings of your heart? Just notice. Don’t judge yourself. There is nothing wrong with the choices you’ve made so far. However, by observing these choices, you can begin to see new possibilities.


Each day this week sit for at least 1 full minute and look in the mirror. Get to know yourself in a whole new way. This time, do it without the judgments and labels others have given you. Who are you at your core? Feel the fire of passion burning within you. Open to this energy and embrace your freedom.


Freedom is available to you in each moment. Dear Lion, begin to choose freedom.


“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” Vernon Howard

Roaring with you,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

A Note of Encouragement for the Weary

Yes, I admit it.  I am exhausted.  My plate is rather full these days both personally and professionally.  I am making sure I getting enough sleep.  Yet, I just feel worn down. 

I have been observing myself, watching my thoughts very closely.  I have noticed that if I live one small moment at a time, I am fine.  I have discovered that if I begin to think a week, a month or a year into the future, I become tired.

The beauty of Life is that the only moment I need to live is RIGHT NOW. 

I live this moment, then the next, then the next. . . as I approach life this way, I am able to flow smoothly forward.  It becomes easier when I just take one step at a time rather than wondering and worrying over the next one hundred miles of the journey ahead.

I have been spending daily time at a nearby park.  Nature has a way of renewing me.  I have been sitting and walking amongst the grandest trees and dainty flowers.  Butterflies show up on my path as do birds of many shapes and sizes.  A brisk walk cleanses and uplifts my spirit.  I am in awe of the simple treasures and miracles life offers.

So today, I give thanks for where I am.  I am where I a meant to be.  I choose to relax into that knowing and rejoice at how far I have come and how much I have learned.

I say a prayer for each of us this week, that our minds will be calm and our spirits will be renewed.

Rest and meditate on these thought-provoking quotes as you begin a new week:

"The great opportunity is where you are. Do not despise your own place and hour. Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world." (John Burroughs)

"Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves." (Dale Carnegie)

"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." (Pearl S. Buck)

With love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Master Basics - Then Get Fancy

The problem today is people want to use high-skill techniques before they learn the foundational skills.  To get long-lasting success, we must not take shortcuts or jump ahead in the process of learning.

Warning:  It is ESSENTIAL to master the basics BEFORE you get too fancy.

I was thinking back to my years as a basketball player.  As a 16 year old playing my first year of basketball, the coach saw how tall I was and made me a "post player."  (For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I played close to the basket and with my back facing the basket most of the time.  Think of a player like Shaq.)

My coach taught me only ONE move my first year.  It was a simple shot.  I would pivot and shoot a short bank shot.  This worked perfectly for me since I was taller than most of my opponents and I could shoot right over them and score.  Coach knew this.  If I could make this shot consistently, our team was going to score loads of points!

But I was feeling frustrated.  Players around me knew more moves!  They could do fancier moves and score points with flare. I wanted to do that.  I wanted coach to show me how to do to that too.  But he insisted that I learn only the basics and perfect this ONE type of shot before I moved forward.

So, I focused.  I shot and shot and shot.  I missed a lot of shots at first.  BUT, with repetition, I was able to use this shot and score plenty of points each game.  In fact, in my first season of ever playing the game of basketball, I mastered this shot and was on my way to becoming the league’s leading scorer.

In my next season, the coach taught me one more new move – drop step, dribble, power up to shoot. Wow! Now I had a second shot, a fancier one. I worked on that one until I could do it well and score with it.  Then I had two shots I could try out and it was exciting to have grown as a player.

At last, when I got to college, the coaches taught me some awesome moves (fancy moves with real swagga)—Up and Under, Hook to the Left, Hook to the Right--I even started shooting from the perimeter rather than just with my back to the basket.  I was prepared for this new learning because my high school coach had forced me to master the basics.  I had a solid foundation.  It allowed me to make great progress.  And, with time, I was a "flashy" player who could score with both basic moves and ones that wowed the crowd.

I am glad my first coach didn't allow me to move faster in my learning than I was ready for.  He was wise.  He knew if I became really good at the basics, I'd be able to easily grasp the exciting moves.  I didn't like how slow he was moving in teaching me, but I see now, that his approach was the right one for my overall growth as a basketball player.

Be patient as a learner.  Understand the basics and practice hard until you are sound at what you do (whether that is a sport, education, career or running your own business).  Learning takes time.  To gain a level of excellence in anything you do, you must work hard at it and remained focused.  Complete the stage of growth you are in and do your best at it because it is preparing you for your next level of performance. 

If you skip essential learning and try to bypass the next steps of your growth, you may sabotage your long-term success. 

Do not be worried you aren't growing fast enough.  Instead, follow this wise Chinese proverb:

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still."

Steady, focused, persistent, determined, dedicated, willing to practice, giving it your all, striving for excellence:  this can be your focus for the week.  It certainly is going to be mine!

Have a blessed and joyful week ahead.
I'm here to support you in your personal and professional growth.

I am only ever an email away.
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Don't resist Life - FLOW!

"Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life”

Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

When the river of life is pushing you forward and you decide you aren't going to move, you are going to be exhausted from struggling to stay where you are.  If you try to swim upstream against the flow, you won't get anywhere.  How do I know?  Well, many times in my life I have fought with the river of life.  I don't do so anymore.  I have learned my lessons.

In the past week there was both an earthquake and hurricane Irene in my area.  Was it fun?  No.  But it was an experience.  As I woke my children in the middle of the night because a Tornado warning sounded for our area, I took them downstairs to a safe place.  I sat in the silence calmly giving thanks for each one of them.  A moment of truth:  my children are alive, healthy and even in the discomfort of a horrible storm, we have each other.

No matter the challenge or the seeming inconveniences life brings our way,

there is learning to be found in every moment.

So, why not stop resisting what life brings your way and instead GO WITH THE FLOW?

Learn.  Grow.  Gain as much from the moments of life as you can. 

I have found that when things don't seem to be going my way, it is the time I must pay the most attention:  I am being taught something essential for the next stage of my journey.

Flow, flow, flow as life brings you forward.

Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Thoughts on Ten Years of Marriage

Words that come to mind as I celebrate ten years of marriage:

Determination.  Ups.  Downs.  Highs and lows.  Great memories.  Tough ones.  Breakdowns.  Breakthroughs.  Love.  Patience.  Acceptance.  Compassion.  Growing understanding.  Space to allow the other to be.  Maturity on both parts. Learning to listen without defense.  Learning to speak one's mind when needed.   Greater appreciation of one another.  Belief in each one's potential.  Willingness to give 100% support to individual visions and a joint vision for life. 

Wow.  Ten years of marriage.  TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE.  It means I have grown and learned a lot.  It means I have a better appreciation for the union of marriage.  It shows that I still have a lot to learn, a long way to go. 

Today, however, I just simply celebrate. I delight in the person I have become because of the loving support my husband has offered me through the years.  He has always encouraged me to follow my heart and to live my dreams.  He knew I could face my fear and self-doubt and be amazing as I lived my purpose. He has offered me wisdom, support and inspiration when I have been at my most difficult points.

I am blessed, blessed beyond measure. 

I say to anyone who is early in your marriage -- hang in for the ride of your life.  Anyone who says marriage is easy is not telling the truth.  It is hard work.  It is difficult and challenging.  Marriage requires a daily commitment.  It is a choice to stay together through thick and thin, through some of the toughest times you can imagine.  I am so glad to have made it to this point.  The depth of my love for my husband is greater than I could ever have imagined.

My prayer is to be the best wife, mother and person I can be. 

Have a blessed week.
May you find and cultivate the love your heart desires (whether you are single or whether you are currently married).

Insights from Travels

It has been a few weeks since I had the time to sit down and write a blog.  The past month was full of travel for me.  I made stops in Accra (Ghana), Lagos and Abuja (Nigeria).  I met wonderful people. I had the chance to engage with many men and women that I mentor.  I was invited to share some of my favorite topics with audiences like Harness the Power of Your Mind and Clarify Your Purpose and Live It.  It was a delightful, rich time of service, work and play.

As I sat in Abuja one Sunday night waiting to go up on stage to address an audience at Holyhill Church Ideas! Forum, my mind flashed back to 2007.

I saw myself sitting at my corporate desk in tears, wanting so much to be free to live out my passion and purpose.  I was so hungry for change.  I yearned to be free.  During those long years of soul-searching, I eventually connected to my calling as a speaker, success coach and writer. 

Yet, after I found my calling, I faced fear after fear.  The fears would rise up and tell me that my dreams were impossible.  For some reason, I found the courage to ignore my fears and I carried on day-after-day, choosing to take little steps forward.

Each tiny step that I took had led me to the night in Abuja.  I spoke that night on the importance of finding and living your purpose.  And, what I said came from a deeply authentic place--I was living what I was teaching.

I am in awe of this journey.  The more that I forge ahead, the more wonderful it becomes.  It is not free of issues and challenges.  In fact, I have many more of them now than I did even a few years back.  I feel more joy and peace now even in the midst of difficulty because I know who I am and what gifts I am here to share with the world.

Tears came to my eyes that night in Abuja.  They were tears of gratitude and amazement.

Each of us can take the time to find our deeper life calling.  It takes some effort and some soul-searching.  But, the payoffs of doing this inner work are life-long. 

If you want to dig deeper into the topic or learn more, my book is a great resource.  (You can purchase it on Amazon  http://www.amazon.com/Clarify-Your-Purpose-Patricia-Omoqui/dp/0982912900 ).  Or, I am here for you as a coach to guide you through the steps you need to take to create a life of deep satisfaction and meaning.

I pray this week that you experience a greater sense of possibility in your life than you ever have before.

With love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/