Here is a question I have been pondering for the past few years: Does Life emerge through us or do we need to "make" things happen?
I'd love to hear your philosophy.
In our society, most people adhere to the idea that it is our responsibility to make it all happen on our own. Let's call this the Responsible approach. We push forward. We rack our brains coming up with new solutions and next steps. We forge ahead, trying to stay ahead of the pack or even just with the pack. We believe it takes 110% of our effort to get to where we want, even if we go down many rabbit trails as we move forward. Action is king. The challenge with this approach is that we often exhaust ourselves, feeling guilty if we aren't always taking steps. After all, WE are responsible to make it all happen so an idle moment is not about resting, it is about wasting precious time that could be used in effort forward.
I've been learning about and practicing a new Guided approach-- a much simpler, easier one. In this perspective, there is very little action needed. We only act when we are clear about the next steps. Our next steps come from our inner guidance, from deep within us rather than from our mind. We find that when we wait for intuition and then follow, the path forward is miraculous, graceful and often more direct to what we want than the Responsible approach.
This Guided approach requires an inner peace and calm -- a way to quiet the small, chattering mind so that a grander, wiser voice can emerge. In my experience, I've been able to tap into this voice in a clearer way through meditation. What I've realized is that this voice has always been there throughout my whole life. I often didn't hear it or understand what it was because I had always been so busy making lists of pros and cons for every decision I made.
The challenge in living from this perspective is patience and faith. Do we really believe that guidance will come when we need it? Are we willing to trust? Is it okay that the path forward is easy or we feel guilty if we don't stress our bodies and minds to get to our goal?
I have found myself and others I introduce this to thinking "this is way too easy." Also, I find that this underlying belief that I was programmed with is very strong, "I have to make things happen. I am responsible and must keep acting all the time or I am being lazy."
Yet, I made a decision a few years ago to adhere to the Guided approach. I wanted to test it to the fullest and see if it works. I'll share a bit of my experience with you.
My faith has been deepened from following this approach. In fact, I often feel as if I'm sitting in a space of "not knowing" for long periods of time. Each day I open to what my next steps would be. I often sense that my next step is to relax, to wait, to be present to whatever comes to me throughout the day. Then, I'll get clear direction about who to call, where to go and what needs to be done next. The more I relax into not knowing, the easier life becomes. I have more peace in this approach and I am much better rested. I also often find myself amazed at how things come together in the least expected ways.
Here are some recent examples. I enjoyed writing so I decided to start writing a weekly blog in addition to Food For Thought, the daily email list. Through the blog, I was clarifying my ideas and getting the hang of writing longer pieces. Out of the blue, I was approached by a woman in Nigeria with the opportunity to write a weekly column for one of Nigeria's largest newspapers. I didn't come up with this idea and I had no clue that writing for an International newspaper would be part of my journey. But, because I had followed the guidance to write my weekly blog, I was ready for the opportunity.
Because I was writing the weekly column, I was invited last June to be the keynote speaker for a large Women on Wellness conference. While there I was interviewed for TV. Then, months later, the woman who interviewed me offered me the opportunity to have 5 - 7 minutes each week on her morning TV show.
Each of these opportunities arrived in my life. They emerged on my path. I didn't seek them out. When I was ready, they showed up. I took action when I needed to -- I wrote the weekly column. I created the TV segments. It was all so simple, so effortless and exciting. It was (and continues to be) miraculous.
When I review my past, I see that many of the things I thought I made happen were actually given to me! It's fascinating to take a closer look.
I'm in a phase now of waiting for the next step forward. I find that all the right life coaching clients show up. The ideas for my weekly column pop into my mind. I get expert feedback on my TV segments without even asking for it! The next steps always become clear.
My struggle has been waiting and sitting in the unknown for what seems long periods of time. Yet, the more I relax into these times of quiet and darkness, the more I see their value. Being in the dark is actually refreshing, it isn't scary any more. (It has given me plenty of opportunity to face my remaining fears!) They are preparatory times of healing, taking care of myself, my home and my children. They are times of being creative and allowing growth that I didn't even know I needed to take place.
One last note--I find that when moving from the Responsible approach to the Guided one, it can feel rather uncomfortable. I have felt that two different mindsets were happening at once. It felt like a verse from the Bible that I remember memorizing as a child, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." I eventually decided that if I wanted to find out the approach that felt right to me, I needed to give the Guided one my complete attention. I'm continuing to "test" it out.
I'd love to hear your perspective on this. Please leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at
allure@patriciaomoqui.com . What have you found to be true and best for you?
May you have an easy, guided, miraculous week,
Patricia Omoqui
