Harness Your Power: Observe Communication

Ever since I was a little child I have been a take-charge leader. My mom has told me (and I do remember these days as a 3 and 4 year old) that I would get all the kids in the neighborhood together, organize them and set the course for the games for the day. Pretty amusing how we are born with certain innate gifts and tendencies. But, our greatest strengths can also be our greatest challenges.

The past few years I've been practicing stepping back and allowing others to take the lead. I'm getting better at it. It feels good to follow and participate.

Even harder for me has been to not step up to lead things when nobody else is willing to do it. Usually if there is a need for someone to lead, I'd jump right on it. Now,instead, I trust that the right leader will show up at the right time so that I don't' overload myself with responsibility like I used to.

Life is learning. I'm also closely observing my communication (verbal and non-verbal) with others -- family, friends, clients and strangers. I've been reading some excellent books the past few weeks about listening so I figured I'd check myself out to see how I measure up in the listening skills area.

I'm noticing opportunities for improvement. How often do I really allow someone to fully finish what they are saying before I jump in and give my thoughts? I invite you to observe yourself -- see if you allow there to be a moment of quiet before you respond to another person. Do you really allow them to say all they need to say before offering your own thoughts?

I have also been checking out whether I am preoccupied with my own thinking while another person is talking. Am I planning my response or am I really listening to what they have to say? It's wonderful self-learning to become aware of this.

Another aspect of communication I've been monitoring is the way I say things to other. I have always been a direct person. I speak my truth freely to others. Situations I've experienced with people close to me this year showed me that I can learn more finesse and become more gentle in sharing my viewpoints. I'm working on this!

We all have room to improve our communication skills, don't we? It starts with becoming aware. It would be interesting if we could watch a video of a few days of our lives. It would be fascinating, maybe even painful, to see how we come across to others in what we say and do.

The challenge I offer to all of us this week is to observe ourselves closely. (You could even seek feedback from people around you, soliciting their observations. Beware if you do. Don't be defensive if you ask for their perspectives. The truth can be tough to take.)

At the least, take time to notice yourself in conversations with others. What are you saying? How are you saying it? Are you interrupting them mid-sentence? Do you finish their sentence assuming you know what they want to say? Are you harsh in your words and tone? Could you be more gentle and kind in sharing from your heart?

I love life. There are constant opportunities for introspection, growth and personal expansion.

I'm joining you in this challenge. Actually, I've been doing this observation constantly for the past few days. I am letting people close to me know that I'm practicing communication skills. I want to get better and better, to be able to show love more fully through what I say and what I do.

By learning better communication skills I will be more capable at developing deeper, more loving, trusting relationships. That is most certainly what I desire! Don't you?

Learning and growing with you,

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Tap Into Nature

I just finished a walk at a beautiful park in the area. I find it so refreshing to get outside and breathe fresh air. I feel thankful for the cool, gentle breeze coupled with the warm summer air. Being in nature has a way of lifting my spirit.

The past year I've used a technique as I walk to focus my mind and not allow it to wander to my to-do list or to worries. I spend at least 10 minutes while I walk creating positive affirmations about who I am as a person, what I create with my life and the impact I have on the World around me. I call this "Walking in Joy." It's fantastic what this little exercise can do. Even if I find my mood low to start my walk, by the time I've complete these affirmations I feel better.

If for some reason I'm unable to get into "affirmation mode," then instead I will do a "Focus on Gratitude." This is a bit simpler. I just begin to list anything and everything that I can be grateful for. This is a great technique to use while on the treadmill or in other locations such as -- in the car as you drive, as you lay in bed in the morning, while you take your shower, or as you drink your coffee.

I also use my nature walks as a way to hone my observation skills. Today, for instance, I tuned my ears into the crickets chirping, the corn husks brushing against each other and the birds singing. Such wonderful, melodious sounds there are! I also noticed the thump, thump, thump of my own footsteps as I walked along. I used my eyes to enjoy fluttering butterflies, soaring hawks, fluffy clouds, vibrant wildflowers, and last but not least a chubby groundhog.

Isn't life rich and amazing? When we are able to get out of the chitter-chatter of our minds and become more present with the wonders life has to offer us, we feel uplifted by the gifts of the Universe.

Take time this week to tap into nature. You don't need any money in your bank account to enjoy the vast resources the Universe makes available to you at no cost! It just takes a bit of effort on your part to move out of your comfort zone so you can go and experience more of the World around you.

In awe of life,
Patricia Omoqui
http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Harness Your Power: Observe Your Timetables & Expectations

Do you feel pressure inside because of internal timetables? Do you get upset with yourself if things don't happen in the time you want them to? Do you have certain expectations of yourself that cause you to push yourself so hard that you exhaust yourself in the process of going after your goals?

I pose these questions this week because I have been observing in myself some interesting characteristics. Just when I think I'm finally learning to relax and go with the flow, I see that I'm not!

This week I've noticed that even when I'm not life coaching, speaking or writing, I'm thinking about my work all the time. I am thinking about all the projects I want to get done.

There's nothing wrong with being excited and passionate about work. What I have found is that I struggle to release my work so that I can fully relax when I do have time for myself.

Why is this so challenging? For me, I believe it has to do with certain expectations I have of myself. I have very high expectations of how much I "should" get done each week. When I'm not meeting those expectations my inner critic starts to make noise. I thought I had gotten rid of this inner critic.

This week I asked my Observer to work over-time so I could get a sense of why I felt so tired. What I saw was that this inner critic had regained some ground in my mind.

I tell my life coaching clients often that their Observer is their best friend. The Observer, the part of yourself that can watch your mind, can help you become highly aware of your judgments about yourself and others. In understanding these personal judgments you can determine if the self-judgment is helping you or hindering you.

My self-judgment hinders me. I see clearly how judging myself drains my energy. When I push myself harder and harder to reach certain goals, I get exhausted and worn down. When I can release the timetables and unrealistic expectations, I begin to feel better. I am able to relax. As I relax, my work actually gets done faster and better!

Timetables and expectations can be a useful tool OR they can be something that hinders you and drains you.

Isn't it funny how often we impose these artificial timetables on ourselves? Who says that a book needs to get written by the end of March? I say it. No one else expects this of me. Who says that the wash needs to get done by Thursday? I do. No one else imposes this on me. Who says that I need to reach all the goals I put on my vision board by the end of 2008? I do. It's me who is driving myself crazy! I laugh as I see this.

It's funny how we've learned to put pressure on ourselves. In doing this, we make life feel heavy and serious. We begin to feel that if we don't meet our goals in a certain time frame that we are failing ourselves. Is that true? It is only if we choose to believe that it is true.

I've been practicing The Power of Now (read Eckhart Tolle's book, it's awesome) for the past few years. When I am truly able to live in the Eternal Present Moment, my work flows beautifully and I am able to simply enjoy each moment in my life. As soon as I impose those time frames and then begin to worry if I will reach them, I impose heaviness and suffering on myself.

I took the time this week to determine what I WANT to choose for myself. Here it is:

• I choose to have fun as I work towards my goals rather than feeling a heaviness about them.


• I choose to aim to reach my goals in certain time frames -- but if I can't, I choose to not be tough on myself.


• I choose to live in the moment.


• I choose to lighten up about life and enjoy the ride.


• I choose to enjoy the journey rather than being so focused on certain results or achievements I want for my life.


• I choose to take time to rest and refresh myself.


• I choose to trust the Universe's timetables.


• I choose to become so aware of my patterns with time and expectations, that I don't allow them to control me.


• I choose to release the pressure that builds up inside of me.


• I choose to be inspired in the moment and release myself to the flow of life -- in doing this, miraculous things occur.


• I choose to envision what I want in my life and then release it to the Universe -- for the Universe sees a grander picture for my life than I am even able to conceive.


• I choose to be free from self-judgment.


• I choose to harness my power.

What do you choose? Be the powerful chooser of your thoughts. Don't let those inner timetables and self expectations control you.

Take time to observe this week and become aware of these beliefs you have that cause you to exhaust yourself. As you understand these beliefs, step back and determine if these beliefs are serving you or if you are serving these beliefs.

We are more powerful than we realize. Our power comes from a deep awareness that in each moment we are choosing our life experience. Let's become fully conscious of what we are choosing.

Laughing at myself this week and having fun unravelling these deeply entrenched beliefs I have,

Trish

Patricia Omoqui

http://www.patriciaomoqui.com/

Uncover Your Authentic Self Through Awareness

This week one of my life coaching clients said to me "I am a new person now!" We've been working together for several months and she has transformed in amazingly beautiful ways.

As I thought about her words I realized that though she feels new, the person she has become has been in her heart all along. Her Authentic Self was hidden under guilt, shame, fear, worry, self-criticism, and self-doubt. Before our work together she was not aware of how much her thoughts controlled the outcomes in her life.

Over the months that we have worked together Jenn (she gave me permission to use her name) has found that her self-limiting thoughts and beliefs have caused her to settle for jobs that she didn't really enjoy. She also saw that she moved at a frantic pace in her life because she was trying to prove her value to herself and others.

As she has become aware of the thoughts that were controlling her and as she has done daily, moment-by-moment work to begin to replace those thoughts with new ones, she has now created a very different experience in her life! She actually feels good about herself and her life.

Personal transformation takes a high level of awareness. A key step to Harnessing Your Personal Power is to become fully aware of what is happening in your mind. This is very easy to do. All you need to do is to turn on your "Observer."

Your Observer is that part of you that can look into your mind and see what thoughts you are thinking. Ask your Observer to closely watch all the thoughts you are thinking throughout the day. As the Observer watches, it should take note of the self-talk you use (both positive and negative), the recurring fears or negative thinking you have, and whether your mind is focused on the past, the future or the present moment. What you find may be surprising to you.

I suggest to all my life coaching clients to use a journal so they can write down clues that the Observer is giving them. By growing in your awareness of your thoughts, you begin to see the moment-by-moment choices you have been making. You begin to see how the thoughts you have focused on have created the life you are living. The exciting news is that through your new found awareness of your thoughts you can decide if you want to keep choosing these thoughts or if you'd like to begin replacing the old thinking with some new thinking.

If you decide to give this a try this week I'd suggest you do it in a spirit of fun and interest. Just watch what your mind is doing. See how fascinating it is when your thoughts control you. Each of us can become the Master of Our Thoughts if we desire to.

Awareness brings personal power to change. Awareness allows you to connect to your passions again and begin living an authentic, joy-filled life. I can tell you from my own personal experience that these steps I'm sharing with you through this blog are POWERFUL. They work if you really put them into action. I uncovered my authentic self about two years ago and I feel such joy, hope and peace now in my life. My life coaching clients change dramatically as they put these ideas into practice.

I'd love to hear from you if you give this idea a try! Let me know what you find as you look closely at what is happening in your mind. Drop me an email at patricia@patriciaomoqui.com .

With love, light and great awareness,

Trish