Do you feel pressure inside because of internal timetables? Do you get upset with yourself if things don't happen in the time you want them to? Do you have certain expectations of yourself that cause you to push yourself so hard that you exhaust yourself in the process of going after your goals?
I pose these questions this week because I have been observing in myself some interesting characteristics. Just when I think I'm finally learning to relax and go with the flow, I see that I'm not!
This week I've noticed that even when I'm not life coaching, speaking or writing, I'm thinking about my work all the time. I am thinking about all the projects I want to get done.
There's nothing wrong with being excited and passionate about work. What I have found is that I struggle to release my work so that I can fully relax when I do have time for myself.
Why is this so challenging? For me, I believe it has to do with certain expectations I have of myself. I have very high expectations of how much I "should" get done each week. When I'm not meeting those expectations my inner critic starts to make noise. I thought I had gotten rid of this inner critic.
This week I asked my Observer to work over-time so I could get a sense of why I felt so tired. What I saw was that this inner critic had regained some ground in my mind.
I tell my life coaching clients often that their Observer is their best friend. The Observer, the part of yourself that can watch your mind, can help you become highly aware of your judgments about yourself and others. In understanding these personal judgments you can determine if the self-judgment is helping you or hindering you.
My self-judgment hinders me. I see clearly how judging myself drains my energy. When I push myself harder and harder to reach certain goals, I get exhausted and worn down. When I can release the timetables and unrealistic expectations, I begin to feel better. I am able to relax. As I relax, my work actually gets done faster and better!
Timetables and expectations can be a useful tool OR they can be something that hinders you and drains you.
Isn't it funny how often we impose these artificial timetables on ourselves? Who says that a book needs to get written by the end of March? I say it. No one else expects this of me. Who says that the wash needs to get done by Thursday? I do. No one else imposes this on me. Who says that I need to reach all the goals I put on my vision board by the end of 2008? I do. It's me who is driving myself crazy! I laugh as I see this.
It's funny how we've learned to put pressure on ourselves. In doing this, we make life feel heavy and serious. We begin to feel that if we don't meet our goals in a certain time frame that we are failing ourselves. Is that true? It is only if we choose to believe that it is true.
I've been practicing The Power of Now (read Eckhart Tolle's book, it's awesome) for the past few years. When I am truly able to live in the Eternal Present Moment, my work flows beautifully and I am able to simply enjoy each moment in my life. As soon as I impose those time frames and then begin to worry if I will reach them, I impose heaviness and suffering on myself.
I took the time this week to determine what I WANT to choose for myself. Here it is:
- I choose to have fun as I work towards my goals rather than feeling a heaviness about them.
- I choose to aim to reach my goals in certain time frames -- but if I can't, I choose to not be tough on myself.
- I choose to live in the moment.
- I choose to lighten up about life and enjoy the ride.
- I choose to enjoy the journey rather than being so focused on certain results or achievements I want for my life.
- I choose to take time to rest and refresh myself.
- I choose to trust the Universe's timetables.
- I choose to become so aware of my patterns with time and expectations, that I don't allow them to control me.
- I choose to release the pressure that builds up inside of me.
- I choose to be inspired in the moment and release myself to the flow of life -- in doing this, miraculous things occur.
- I choose to envision what I want in my life and then release it to the Universe -- for the Universe sees a grander picture for my life than I am even able to conceive.
- I choose to be free from self-judgment.
- I choose to harness my power.
What do you choose? Be the powerful chooser of your thoughts. Don't let those inner timetables and self expectations control you.
Take time to observe this week and become aware of these beliefs you have that cause you to exhaust yourself. As you understand these beliefs, step back and determine if these beliefs are serving you or if you are serving these beliefs.
We are more powerful than we realize. Our power comes from a deep awareness that in each moment we are choosing our life experience. Let's become fully conscious of what we are choosing.
Laughing at myself this week and having fun unravelling these deeply entrenched beliefs I have,
Trish
Patricia Omoqui
