Yesterday I took my three children to the pool for an evening of fun and relaxation. We have lived in this condo community for about four years now so we are familiar with many people's faces but don't always know their names. One such woman was observing and smiling at us as our little one Sage, was having fun splashing as a toddler does in the shallow waters.
Later, the woman got up and as she passed by us, said to me, "I've been watching you for several years now. How is it that you are so calm? I've never seen you lose your cool and you have so much on your plate."
I responded, "I meditate--a LOT. Every day I sit in silence and this allows me to hold the space for myself and others. I am not perfect. I do lose my cool sometimes."
We smiled as we talked about being human and then she headed on her way.
What struck me deeply is that the constant, focused inner work I've been doing for the past 13 years has been an investment. I am reaping tremendous reward, invisible to many: I move through my days with an almost unshakable peace. Finally, after spending years healing my childhood traumas, a sense of joy is beginning to rise within my spirit. I am able to hold a space of calm open when my children tantrum and when my coaching clients are in deep, dark despair. From sitting with my own fears and facing them, I now see that the mind's tricks are merely an illusion that I no longer need to buy into. From sitting with and caring for my own distressed inner child, I've learned that if I allow a person the space to move through their emotions, a sense of calm can be found just beneath the inner storm.
Most of humanity is running to and fro chasing the outer adornments of success: high paying jobs, fancy cars, designer clothes, bags and shoes, big mc-mansions. What is it getting them? Material stuff. I witness first hand it is NOT all that it is cracked up to be. In fact, the millionaire coaching clients I work with often have the highest degrees of inner sadness and despair I have ever seen. I have the privilege of being allowed into their inner world and it has shown me that outer success does not mean deep peace nor happiness. In fact, the outer success often leads to a deepening sense of despair and separation from everyone.
What's my point in sharing all of this with you today?
I want to encourage you to do your inner work.
Observe your mind's antics and come to discover that a fear is just a thought of something you don't want to happen in your life. Become aware that you have the power to become the master of your mind rather than allowing your mental frenzy to consume and take over your life.
Take the time to foster a practice of daily silence and meditation. Be still. Know God through prayer and meditation. Connect regularly with the Divine space of total love, total acceptance, total peace, all-encompassing compassion. This may sound distant and even impossible to you right now. It sure felt that way to me about 13 years ago. But day after day, as I sat quietly for a few minutes at a time, something began to change inside me. Openings for insight, intuition and hearing God's voice within me began to emerge as I just kept showing up in the quiet seeking the answers my soul desperately needed. Now, these times of silence are my life-line to undisturbed peace and calm no matter the circumstances that might arise on a day to day basis.
Begin to question everything. We've all been brain-washed, hypnotized to believe that what the World and Media tell us is true is what we should be doing and pursuing. Why not step back and observe awhile? Start to look more deeply at the messages. What am I really here for on this planet? What is it my heart truly longs for? What is it time to let go of? How can I begin to simplify my life so that it is not stress-filled? If what society's thinks hasn't led me to a sense of peace and joy, then what type of thinking would allow me to find true riches?
Open to accepting yourself just as you are. I used to beat myself up in my mind all day, every day. The result was a tired, haggard version of me. People on the outside had no idea how sad I was on the inside because of my self-loathing. Nobody knew I was on the verge of an eating disorder because I judged my physical body so harshly. Nobody knew that I didn't feel good enough as a wife, mom or corporate worker. I had all the outer-packaging of success: a Princeton degree, a career as a pro basketball player, a nice house, car and ideal looking life. Yet, I was unhappy inside--more distressed than I realized. When I began to study my thinking, in particular, my self-talk, I saw that I was my own worst enemy and my biggest critic. I would spend hours each day picking myself apart. I have re-trained myself not to do this anymore. I've re-programmed my mind in a way that supports a sense of empowerment and well-being. I have cultivated self-grace and compassion. I've chosen to seen the beauty and perfection in my ever-evolving body, mind and spirit. I've learned to see myself as a child of God, made marvelously in the Divine image. I've realized that judging myself against the world's fake and outrageous standards of beauty and success is not needed. Instead, I've defined and created my own views on what a happy, fulfilled, purposeful and successful life means to me.
What results from this inner work? Peace. Joy. Inner grace. Awareness of Divine protection and guidance flowing through and to me every moment of every day. Self-love. A deepening compassion for others who are on a similar journey of waking up to their truth and power. A wonderful, exciting sense of my purpose on the planet.
So...my challenge to each of us is this: begin to cultivate daily practices that help us clean-up the inner spaces. With time and focus, we can heal from and become free of inner trauma. We can clean-up the mental patterns that limit us and cause us despair. Does it take some work and effort? Sure, it does. But, the results of this inner work lay a foundation for a life-time of lasting peace and joy. Every second, minute, hour and day I've invested into this self-mastery has been immensely worthwhile!
As is the journey of life, I get to keep growing and I still have plenty of my own inner work to do. And, I do so joyously with you,
With my love,
Patricia Omoqui, The Thought Dr.
www.patriciaomoqui.com
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